Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML
Today, it's the third day in a row my roommate has woken me up with blasting music, after keeping me up late listening to him screaming into his Xbox headset. His kids ate the last of my food. I can't even take a shit without one of them barging in. His whole fucking family is a walking condom commercial. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, tired of my roommate’s constant stealing of my food, I decided to get back at him by hiding a small amount of hot sauce in his sandwich, thinking it would be a funny prank. When he took a huge bite, he immediately started choking and running to the bathroom. I later found out he's allergic to spicy food. FML
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Today, I wake up only to find that my roommates cooked all my food. Now I'm starving and the place smells like delicious bacon. FML
Today, I was watching my dog via security camera live feed, when my roommate came in completely naked to make breakfast for himself. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up with some chips in my bed. I thought it was funny so I went to tell my roommate. Her response was, "That's so funny! It's a typical night out for the two of us. I wake up the next morning with a boy in my bed and you wake up with food in yours." FML
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Top comments
vikky538 29
time to change the roommate... or lock your room always
saucyrossi 18
You should taco bout it with him
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Comments (154)
SideOfTheAngels 23
Ever so creepy... I know this is obvious but try talking to him about it. If that doesn't work, take matters into your own hands. Whatever that may involve.
little_aliceee 17
Why didn't he put the hot sauce on/in the burrito and then put it between your boobs? That would be easier!
DrewBob9623 10
Sounds like a great place to eat a burrito if you ask me.
Honema 16
well.. if you'd have permission then yes
wang33334 12
Your roommate is creepy. Real question is does the burrito taste good?
Zm90 5
then go and check ur self how is it taste :)
sarah5745 41
Not necessarily
supasupa 1
This is invasion of privacy and space. He shouldn't be doing this. Men are pigs and think they can do anything
lilchica22001 22
Wow! I wish my roommate would bring me burritos! You are lucky to have such a thoughtful roommate. Oh a more serious note.....install a lock on your door to keep that psycho out!! Hahaha
crunchycheeto99 11
Why a burrito...
DogeMan 14
He likes taco bell
orbit 22
He is just giving her breakfast in bed. jeez
XBurytheCastleX 25
What if he's giving you some food for later?!