Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Creepy.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Shut up. You tried to do it to Harry a few years back.
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Comments (242)
Highschool_Kid 0
while reading the comments i noticed everybody saying "that's hot" , "kick her ass" , "call the cops" and "i wish my roommate was like that, and a girl" Heres a shot in the dark.. is there a SLIM possibility this was a joke? or even she was dared to?
Wongoose24 4
that was in a movie i saw! "so i married an axe murderer"! mike meyers! holy shit thats weird
death779 4
hot
TheCaptain88 0
Have sex with..then call the mental hospital ;D
MandaMoos94 0
You are reaally cute! :)
ILuffYou 0
ohmygod its like the movie!!
CrawlingInTheDar 0
... please tell me you woke up clothed. Please.
jdallas 0
^^^^ and you are really desperate
kbroom4 0
isn't there a movie out about that ?
deerescu 1
this Is like that Movie