Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I woke up to find my new roommate staring straight at me. She then went on to say, "I love how you sleep," and continued to stare. I live in a residence off campus and I've already changed roommates twice this year. I'm stuck with a person who stares at me sleep for the next two years. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML
Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I woke up at my girlfriend's house. She was staring at me, holding a knife over my face. She ran away, giggling. FML
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
Today, I took a shower at my girlfriend's apartment. I was wandering around, gathering my clothes when I noticed my girl doing her hair in the other room. She looked sort of peculiar, so I stood there, studying her. Half naked. I then realized it wasn't my girlfriend, but her roommate. FML
Today, I woke up in my friend's living room after our sleepover. I heard her hot older brother and his friends in the kitchen. Feeling confident, I exposed my midriff a little bit just to give them a peek. They groaned and threw a blanket over me. FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Creepy.
MyNameIsBruce 0
Shut up. You tried to do it to Harry a few years back.
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Comments (242)
beastin34 0
at least when she does it u get a nice last view
Seethatguy 3
I'd check the closet for corpses if I were you, and then I'd move out whether you find them or not. If you do, definetly get out of there, and if not, GET OUT BECAUSE YOU MIGHT BE THE FIRST. Or maybe your roomate just plain doesn't like you and wants you to think she's a psycho. I'd say she's doing a good job. Sorry, OP.
pike1346 3
your ******.
RedPillSucks 33
I suspect she just wants a room to herself and is just yanking your chain. ....... Or.... She is mental and you're going to die soon.
whoopyouupsideyo 0
rub your entire body in massage oil and jump on her when she is sleeping then wrestle around with her and do the scissor. lol
Peasanthunter_fml 0
Hot!!!
ColetteL 4
I just want to be like you! lol
Cynthinful 4
Bahahhahahahahahahaha!!! That's scary, but hilarious at the same time.
ringogrey 4
that's hot
grapist 0
CREEPER! dude, get a new room mate!