Mr Livonia Michigan, United States of America In a relationship
Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to Florida from Michigan. While going through Ohio my car hydroplaned over a puddle on the highway. I ended up hitting the median and my car got wrecked. Not only am I stuck in Ohio with a car that won't work, I got a ticket for $300 for hitting Ohio property. FML
Today, I accidentally ran over a squirrel on the road. I was late for work so I didn't stop. Later, someone keyed the word PETA into the side of my car. FML
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