Love: Today, I was working out with the guy I like when he spilled...

By Clumsy - 08/09/2016 12:06 - United States - Millville

Today, I was working out with the guy I like when he spilled his water bottle. I went to clean up the spill, bashed my face into the weight bar, which broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 147

You deserved it 1 429

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Same thing different taste

Double FML

By Kelly - 26/06/2023 12:00

Today, I tried to put a drinking glass on the top rack at the dish sink where I work, but lost my grip. The glass then fell into my coworker's face, the bridge of her nose to be exact. X-rays confirmed that I broke her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 130

No control over my limbs

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym and I tripped on the treadmill. Not only did I fall off the machine, I also managed to knock over two other people's water bottles and send them flying across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 186

By crossfitter - 21/05/2015 12:22

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 271

You deserved it 11 517

By Icci - 12/12/2009 22:54 - United States

Today, at work I was playing football with one of my camp kids in the indoor-pool. I saw a co-worker walking by and I decided to hit him with the football. The football slipped out of my hand and I hit a lady in the face, breaking her nose, and causing her to fall and get a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 696

You deserved it 37 821

Romance isn't dead

By broken - 13/09/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 002

You deserved it 4 478

Spotted it

By dollabill009 - 06/06/2013 08:49 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large muscular man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 286

You deserved it 8 563

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 229

You deserved it 2 475

By Username - 22/02/2010 05:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 107

You deserved it 3 325

By dinosaur - 10/01/2011 10:35 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend decided it would be fun to sit on my lap. In the process he landed on me so hard that he made me hit my head. Then when he turned around his elbow smacked into my nose causing it to break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 221

You deserved it 3 210

Life is just great

By someone something - 27/11/2024 21:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 583

You deserved it 69

tntscl 4

Saturday 24 September 2016 13:03

That will be a lovely story at your wedding

Lalala579121 27

Saturday 24 September 2016 13:26

Well now you can bond while he (hopefully) drives you to the hospital.

Comments

joseraph 4

Saturday 24 September 2016 13:01

first. nice job OP, next time take it slowly

tntscl 4

Saturday 24 September 2016 13:03

That will be a lovely story at your wedding

Dave_Davington 33

Saturday 24 September 2016 13:07

If you guys do end up together, then do the both of you a favour. Never try to suck him off.

Lalala579121 27

Saturday 24 September 2016 13:26

Well now you can bond while he (hopefully) drives you to the hospital.

KyoshiroT 32

Saturday 24 September 2016 13:29

This is the beginning of OP's life folks. Some already say they're telling this story at the wedding day right now...

hellnosucka 27

Saturday 24 September 2016 14:34

and that kids, is how I met your mother.

IssacB 14

Saturday 24 September 2016 16:11

Must've been super excited to get that water..

alvarny 17

Saturday 24 September 2016 17:29

that's where the prince comes to the rescue. unless he faints at the sight of blood.

moondoglou420 17

Saturday 24 September 2016 18:55

Pretend he hit you around people to mess with him :P (Side note.. please make it apparent that it was a joke afterwards, lol)

cjfred 13

Saturday 24 September 2016 19:29

I'm sorry about your broken nose, but you have to admit, it's a hell of an effective way to get his attention.

Keywords

Awkward Friends Love Miscellaneous Cute Haircut Relatable Cars You're fired Work Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Am I overreacting? Intimacy Sex Management Poopoo peepee Capitalism Coworkers Frustration Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Dating Health Anxiety

The Top

Today, I asked a very cute fireman for his number, "just in case I needed him to come to my rescue." He told me, "Yeah, sure!" and scribbled it down. After he walked away, I read his note, which read: "911". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 304

You deserved it 50 349

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 315

The Top

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 471

You deserved it 3 174

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 270

You deserved it 3 251

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 224

You deserved it 16 100

Today, I video-chatted with my mom and showed her my new, very short haircut. My dad walked in, took one look at me and said, "I can only attribute this to penis envy," and walked out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 336

You deserved it 4 936

Today, my boyfriend picked me up and spun me around like they do in the movies, but not before grimacing, taking a deep breath, and muttering "one, two, three... and... uuuppp!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 150

You deserved it 5 765

Today, I was at a clothing store. I tried on a dress, but decided it was too much for me. Taking it off, I realize my hair was tangled in the big security button. The employees had to bring me to the front of the store, lay me on the counter, and take the button out in front of a laughing crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 674

You deserved it 4 373