By nopissleft - 20/12/2013 21:05 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks 47 920
You deserved it 2 907

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Top comments

Here's Johnny!

"Officer, somebody embedded an axe in my door and then peed in my underwear"

Comments

Here's Johnny!

At least OP has the axe now.

Time to move!

And my axe!

In addition, it also reminds me of the Dane Cook joke about the guy kicking in doors, only much more interesting.

you might want to very calmly RUN!

I think OP needs to 'axe' the neighborhood if they have seen any suspicious!

@ 19 Not a lot of people go around randomly embedding them into other peoples' doors either...

25- It would've been better if you didn't put axe in quotations.

I wouldn't mind a follow up on this one, just to know the guy is still alive

Expect an axe in your front door 25

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

How would you react to an axe in your door? What's the manly reaction according to you??

By tearing his shirt off, picking up the axe, and beating his chest whilst doing his best wolf howl, obviously. That's the only manly way to handle situations such as these.

Nah, based off the comment I think #4 would run head first into said axe.

"Sweet, a free Axe!!! Thank you whoever you are, my old one was getting dull from overuse!"

Guys don't be mean to #4 anymore... I think you all should just bury the hatchet

Gingaa I admired the effort. You get a thumbs up from me!

70- There's a button for that.

"Officer, somebody embedded an axe in my door and then peed in my underwear"

Ask around, maybe someone saw who did it

Someone must've been sitting on their front porch in the middle of the night watching who did it ...

It's Sweden, any one of the millions of Vikings could have done it

Santa's on bath salts! no longer here to give us presents, just to eat our faces!

He sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you have been bad or good. Sounds like the start of a story of a stalker.

The face eater wasn't actually on bath salts. Bath salts tends to involve naked most of the time. Naked and paranoid. At least based on the news stories I've heard.

Actually, in the old myths there was a sorta...antisanta that would punish the naughty kids. He looked like the fucking devil. .-.

Zombie Clause!!

don't forget you might need a new door

Nah, duct tape fixes everything.

SkyGuy32 17

Also, I think that it would be cool to have a story to tell whenever someone visits your house.

If someone told me they "heard a loud nose and there was an axe in their door" I'm not sure I'd come back to visit them a second time.

Someone obviously had an axe to grind with you.

That's very punny da da da cha!

You should axe around to see in anyone saw something. Be knife, it'll give you an edge in getting your point across.

GTFO fucktard

SkyGuy32 17

gtfo is right.... jackass

#12 just go...

arandomusernameaa 20

You can't tell perdix to go! if you don't like him then you should leave!

No one tells perdix to go, its like telling docbastard to be nice. I think you're the one that needs to leave