Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML
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College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, I got a call from my 8-year-old's 3rd grade teacher. Apparently a question went around class asking, "Why do you think you were put on this Earth?", and my son answered, "My dad says it's because I swam the fastest." FML
Today, I took my 4-year-old daughter to the local pool for swim lessons. As we walked onto the deck she turned to me and said "Mom, that lady has really big boobs!" The whole pool heard, even the man my daughter was referring to. FML
Today, I swam in a race against all of the girls in the midwest in the hardest, longest, most grueling race you can swim. I won. Happy but so tired I could barely move, I looked up to see my time. I had been disqualified. For flinching. Before the race started. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
Today, I was running the 100m sprint in a track meet. Me and another girl were tied for dead last. When we finished, she complained, "It's so embarrassing how slow I am today. I have shin splints. What happened to you?" I was actually running my hardest. FML
Today, I took my two-year-old daughter swimming. While sitting in the hot tub, my daughter pointed to the elderly man sitting across from us and mumbled something. I couldn't understand her, so I asked her to repeat it. After two more attempts, she shouted, "MOM! He has big boobs!" FML
Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML
Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML
Today, I told my mom I wanted to try out for the track team. Her exact words were "good luck, fatty". FML
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Top comments
TrueTriage 16
Wait when you compete in sports you need to try??! I've been doing it wrong all these years!
R00ST3R 12
Your daughter is gonna end up being one of those drivers who take their time at a stoplight when it turns green.
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Comments (79)
KeXu 6
Wow, that really sucks. I'm so sorry, OP.
TrueTriage 16
Wait when you compete in sports you need to try??! I've been doing it wrong all these years!
Ambient25 25
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"Oh you guys jumped...sorry I've never used my body before..."
Rue22 16
Well my coach has always told me to swim as fast as I can. So why wasn't it told to her at every meet? I can't imagine not being told that.
IscoreOnU 19
I always told everyone I knew and coached to swim as fast as they can. Competition and all. Swimming isn't a sport you can't go easy in. The fact she never pushed herself just points to ignorance.
EvilUndead 9
20, It is actually possible if she had a bad coach/trainer. During my school years, not even ONE physical education teacher told me how run properly (breath control, pace control, etc), how to improve running distance, etc. So, blame the trainer.
tjv3 10
Was she winning before?
jw90 18
Obviously so have I..damn..
R00ST3R 12
Your daughter is gonna end up being one of those drivers who take their time at a stoplight when it turns green.
Damian95 16
In the future she's gonna call for her children to get the remote when it is JUST out of arms reach.
birdfreak 24
Slow and steady wins the race :)
Iamevil123 16
Unless it's a 100m sprint.
davincidasecond 24
Yeah, I used to 'take my time' in those events when I was little ... Safe to say I never won.
yetanotherginger 19
Had she previously been conserving energy to avoid getting injured? Or to maintain energy for a whole session?
rg350dx 29
She was just sandbagging in order to lull the competition into a false sense of superiority...or it literally just dawned on her that she had to try.
FightMyLiger 19
Maybe she's a toddler and doesn't fully grasp the concept. OP could be crazy competitive parent-type.
CallMeMcFeelii 14
I highly doubt OP's daughter is a toddler. I've never heard of a swim team that consists of only toddlers.
yryilmaz 13
That would be rather adorable though.
r83839 22
A toddler doing a swim meet? Really? 1) my toddler just learned how to swim, and all the moms are super impressed because most toddlers are scared of water, 2) even my toddler knows how competition works.
Ambient25 25
How is this an FML for you OP?
TiroC 25
Lure the competition and BAAM, when they least expect it, she become number 1!
ryan_3000000 6
You should have told her to swim faster years ago.
xInwex 12
Did she not understand the concept of sports? I wonder if she thought the other swimmers weren't trying either.
TheDrifter 24
The coach likely uses the "don't worry about them, you're only competing against yourself" political correct line so that kids feelings don't get hurt when they lose.
moimoimoi125_fml 11
Yeah, because the sole aim of sports is winning.
xInwex 12
Last time I checked it was....of course there are rec leagues, but when someone says "sports" I automatically think "competing".
kyletk 7
haha what a trooper! at least she's trying now.