Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I had a very hot sex dream about my female coworker. It was so good I woke up practically rock hard, jerked off, and had an amazing orgasm. There’s just one problem: I’m a gay guy, in a committed relationship. FML
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I dreamt I had a secret admirer whom I met in person. She had red hair, a plus size body and a beautiful smile. This would've been great if it weren't for the fact I was a straight woman. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
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Top comments
rldostie 19
Maybe you're not as straight as you think.
JessieMongoose 11
LMAO.
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Comments (146)
FlashBurn 13
Dude, Schwarzenegger may be old, but he's still in good shape. Lay off the tequila, that's all I can say.
brootalxkeni 0
O.O eewwwwwwwww
L3g4lPl4typus 0
that sucks. but I'm sure he flexed one of his muscles for you. lol
tex_mex13 0
haha win!!!!!!
sexycookies 0
ya his love musle
EllieB123 5
Mickey D is right! Sorry to crush your dreams OP. Haha(:
perdix 31
Are you sure it's Austrian bodybuilders you are into, or former governors of US States? If it's the latter, you might get Sarah Palin next time. Or Eliot Spitzer (who will give you $3000 an hour) Or George W. Bush. Or Bill Clinton.
ImaginaryFoe 1
Seems to me McGreevey would be more up OP's alley.
sourgirl101 29
And which "alley" are we speaking about?
raithex 0
Perdix, your comments never cease to amuse me. :D
ktrose 0
What a beauty haha.
Stockholm06 3
Åh, din stackare....du behöver nog terapi nu :/
lilponygurrl 0
are u sure your straight? lmao
bizarre_ftw 22
Apparently not or he wouldn't be so freaked out
Pawned71 0
im cumming NAOOO!!!(Schwarzneggars accent)
_krispy 0
HAHAHAH ROFL :L
Vayt 2
The good news is that Freud generally didn't know what he was talking about, when it comes to his conceptualization of the subconscious, and sometimes a random firing of synapses performing reconstructive and crystallizing tasks on your neurons is just a cigar.