Today, I woke up after a dream where I got it good from none other than Arnold Schwarzenegger. The problem? I'm a guy, and straight. Apparently my subconscious has a fetish for old Austrian bodybuilders. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
Today, I woke up from a dream in which I had a penis. Apparently I talk in my sleep, because my boyfriend kept staring at my crotch. FML
Today, I had a very hot sex dream about my female coworker. It was so good I woke up practically rock hard, jerked off, and had an amazing orgasm. There’s just one problem: I’m a gay guy, in a committed relationship. FML
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
Today, I had a wet dream. The problem was that I was dreaming about watching porn. I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML
Today, I woke up from the most sensual dream I've had in months. Unfortunately, despite it being better than any action I've had in a long time, the dream was about me fucking a donut. FML
Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML
Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML
Today, I dreamt I had a secret admirer whom I met in person. She had red hair, a plus size body and a beautiful smile. This would've been great if it weren't for the fact I was a straight woman. FML
Today, I woke up from a sexy dream about my boyfriend. Too bad I'd fallen asleep in my living room with my whole family over, grandma included. They were all staring. I'd been sleep humping and moaning. FML
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Top comments
rldostie 19
Maybe you're not as straight as you think.
JessieMongoose 11
LMAO.
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Comments (146)
larryb71 0
I was watching predator when I read this lol
xXBlAcKxWiDoWXx 0
Haha yeah dude! Was it AMC?
TaylorTotsYumm 10
People can see what you're dreaming and invade your dreams. Didn't you see any of the commercials and such?
sourgirl101 29
I didn't.(: If I did, I just mixed them up with that "Shutter Island" movie. Since they seemed to have come out around the same time. (Movie/Video) I'm looking forward to seeing the it. I've heard great things about it.(:
xRMBx 3
Uhhh I'd see a sleep dr or something, that's not something I'd like to dream about hah id be afraid to go to sleep
DocBastard 40
What do you think sleep doctors do, prescribe nice dreams? "Yeah Doctor, I'd like one involving Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron, please."
Leetswaglordmaybe2 9
latent gay - look it up
ScuseMePrincess 2
Ha, Crom laughs at your forewinds. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDxn0Xfqkgw&feature=youtube_gdata_player
This_Guy_Right_H 0
GET TO DA CHOPPPAAAA!
Chunkylover76 4
I'll be bahk in yur ass in a minute, Ahhnold needs a powar baahhhr!!
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I see Schwarzenegger is a sexual "Predator."
youth88 0
you can keep telling yourself you're straight all you want, but Arnold's dream penis knows the truth