Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
PeteyPablo12308 20
That is SUCH a good movie! I've seen it twice now. That is gross about the guy jacking off though :-P
wtfsnickers 1
maybe it was you he was jerking off to
ShrukiantheMad 0
Check your hair.
DarkHelmet 10
I might actually go and see that movie now
Leftieswillrule 3
oh my god Natalie portman and mila kunis having sex?? I must go see this movie. btw more like f your dad's life, he had to watch a porno with his child
odexy 12
How prude can you be to think this movie was basically a porno? I sort of agree that it was more "vulgar" than what you usually see but it's nowhere near a porno. =/ Great ******* movie though.
rafty4life 3
Look on the bright side, at least your dad wasn't jacking off. At least not until he got home, maybe your mom helped him out.
perdix 31
That's some pretty lightweight **** there. Your family wasted about 30 bucks to see much, mech less than what you could get at youporn for free. You money-wasting n00bs!
squeaker07 15
pig. Do you ever have anything intelligent to say?
jongolden 0
Well, it could be worse. I watched Walk Hard with my dad and that scene where they're in the hotel room was the longest five minutes of my life.
jongolden 0
Well, it could be worse. I watched Walk Hard with my dad and that scene where they're in the hotel room was the longest five minutes of my life.