By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML
I agree, your life sucks 44 433
You deserved it 46 654

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so.. did you kill it?

"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"

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so.. did you kill it?

The spider? Or his leg?

I don't think you can kill a leg...*shrug * idk just what I was taught...

Maybe he didn't kill it, maybe he got bit by the spider and OP is now Spider-Man...

OP can role play all of the Spider Man he wants in the hospital

You have problems OP if you think the proper way of getting rid of something is by stabbing it...

6: Actually, you can kill a leg. Like with frostbite, gangrene, some spiders' bites, and chopping off the leg (and warming the person, amputating the limb, giving them antivenom, and stopping the bleeding from the person before the person dies, if you insist the person is alive).

#51 those legs weren't killed...they were murdered.

#55 dun dun dunnnnnn

Did anyone else think of Talladega Nights when Ricky Bobby stabbed himself?... No just me, ok back in my hole.

Spider-Man with a bad leg.

@62 have you not seen the Amazing Spider-Man he gets shot in the leg, not the same kind of injury but still an injured leg

\ 28

#61 I'm also reminded of the scene in "The Last of Us" where Ellie stabs the soldier's knee after he scans her...

28, *Aliens guy* "Canadians"

#61 "Cut AROUND the meat..."

Of course he did. OP was quick, like a ninja. Unless the spider was quicker.

bet its the last time you do that...

Cut around the meat!

If at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

#61, Help me Jesus! Help me Tom Cruise!...

Einstein defined insanity by doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. Also, I think OP would like to keep their other leg intact.

This needs a follow up.

Did you at least kill the spider?

or stab it in the leg?

I kinda hope he didn't kill it... cuz depending on how deep the knife went in his leg he may have have bits of spider embedded in him.... gross! D:

Not only did you kill it, but how? By stabbing it? Or by drowning it in your blood? I've never thought about either method when I've attempted to kill spiders. Feedback could help me with my next spider attack. :P

You're not a moron, you're an idiot.

\ 28

I'm going to take a stab here and guess it was mind over matter.

Those words are synonyms

#34 you do see the pun in your comment right?

48- I think he does, he's not stupid.

your not just a regular idiot, you were designed to be an idiot.

You're not dumb, you're stupid. Again, synonyms.

Once again, you have absolutely no right to call someone else an idiot if you don't even know the difference between "your" and "you're" That, my friend, is the definition of hypocritical.

what the fuck is going on here...

Just to clarify here, moron and idiot are not synonyms, if you look it up, a moron has an IQ greater than that of an idiot...

Actually, an idiot is defined as less intelligent than a moron. But yeah, it's not much of a difference.

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If it wasn't for the fact that spiders kill other creepy bugs, I'd feel they'd have no purpose on earth! Ick.

Some spiders are cute...I never kill them, I always just catch and release them outside.

Some of em are poisonous.. That's a good enough reason for me

I agree #29 some of them are cute :)

Misunderstood Spider: "Hey man, there was a wasp in here but I got him, since I know how much you hate wasps and you know I'm looking out for you....what's the book for?"

i can catch and release everything but spiders.. i can barely get close to them.

#33- venemous*

#46 - noxious*

Want an award? My reaction is KILL IT WITH FIRE

"Don't worry, the spider is smaller than you." "Yeah... so is a grenade..."

Omgosh OP, I hope you're alright!

Why on earth did this comment get so many down votes?

I think it's because he's obviously not alright, he stabbed his leg.

"This is gonna hurt me more than it hurts you"

The perfect moment for that.

If you'd been cleaning a gun would you have shot yourself? That being said, sorry about your leg, hopefully it's a superficial injury.

You don't clean a gun with it loaded. You don't even clean a gun with it out together.

I think amidst freaking out about the spider on his leg, assemble the gun, load it, then shoot himself.

You don't clean a gun with it assembled to begin with...

Yea, I bet that injury hurts like hell. Depending on how hard to tried to stab that damn spider.

Ok I'm not someone who cares about my "likes" but this is common sense. I noticed I drop every now and then so I'm just going to say. For someone who is in the military, granted not infantry (those guys have my utmost respect, if not for the shit they deal with day by day, then more from the boredom that comes for being "on call"[a good friend went SEAL]) then let me say this. You don't clean a gun when it's assembled. This isn't a computer. You take it apart to get to the smallest places to make sure it's been field dayed. It's apart...you can't shoot yourself...

I think the commenter was going for an effect, not to be 100% accurate. I feel they got their point across. No need to be all that's not how you clean a gun. Rawrrrr.

When you're cleaning a gun, they tend to not have bullets in them.. Can't fire unless something strikes the primer of the bullet.

You're not SUPPOSED to clean a gun assembled but it happens... or people need an excuse as to why they perfectly execution style shot their spouse on "accident"

I hope you didn't go too deep into your leg, and that you killed the spider. Don't forget that, ever. Even if you limp forever. Just know, spiders ain't got nothin' on you. :D

Now he can tell his friends about how bad ass he is :)

You might be a redneck if....

Just forget about knives -- eventually you're going to get spider veins and you don't want to end up being a human pincushion.