Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
Today, at dinner, I was talking to my parents about a movie quote. I couldn't remember what movie it was from. Then I remembered. It was a porno. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friend and two pretty girls. During the movie, he made out with both of them, while I sat there awkwardly and watched the movie. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend and his parents. It got to an intense sex scene. I felt grateful when I saw his father reaching for the remote to fastforward past the scene. He put it into slowmotion. We watched in silence for about 3 minutes before he managed to fix it. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with 4 friends. I didn't realize that I was the only one who didn't have a date. The theater row had just enough room for everyone but me, I got to sit in back of everyone else while they were making out in front of me for 2 hours. FML
Today, I went to a theater and saw "Bruno" with my mom. We saw "Borat" together, so I thought, 'Hey, how bad could it be?' I don't know what was more nauseating: Bruno's penis spinning around and talking or the fact that my mom thought it was hilarious and couldn't stop laughing. FML
Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk, except it wasn't really a talk, but rather him making me watch a hardcore porn video with him as he commented on what the actors were doing. I had to listen to all this and ignore his obvious erection for almost an hour. FML
Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
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Top comments
JManHobbs 0
If you think that qualifies as **** you obviously aren't a regular Internet user...
xFalzz 0
Thats why you should research movies before seeing them.
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Comments (219)
DanishTrix 0
Ummm, ever heard of online synopsis'? or reviews? Try researching the movie before you go. Also, research some actual ****. I'm sure you'll get a thrill. ;)
gars56 5
What kind of person researches a movie they are about to go see? I only go to movies that I have seen awesome looking commercials for.
AndyAutopsy 11
222, Well at least see what it's rated and why it's rated that way. That's usually what I do.
xshowmethehueix 0
I'd jack off to both of them anyway, kunis was so hot in that 70s show, and portman is just heavenly. true story.
mmedeiros14 0
Are you old? Did you recently see blackswan? did you sit behind a girl and her parents? if you said yes to all those questions you are creepy.
courtssss 0
hahahahah
RawrGoesTheDino4 0
aha, hilarious
TFNLbosox 0
was kunis jackie?!
yusaku02 20
yes, mila kunis did play jackie
freckles92 0
I'm sorry but didn't you see the previews where they like make out with each other? plus why would you see that with your parents? still that's got to be akward ad hell to sit next to your dad during all that!!
calvin10 0
Hey there bible belt! the movie is pretty far from being a porno. There are all in all two scenes where Mila Kunis is having Sex.
Sholloway 0
Bible Belt? OP is from New York!
FYLDeep 26
Oh Boo hoo, OP. You can stop crying now. You need a tissue? I think the guy behind you has some.
spazyman 0
you sir, have just won the Internet.
mrmerino 0
thank you...sniff. thank you so much...
Shorty_Shaza 5
I saw that movie last weekend with my friends, yeah that scene was prettty awkward! Glad i didnt invite any of my guy friends lol
P4nd4xL4dy 0
Bet it was an awkward ride home
HUNG9 0
did you lend a helping hand at least
WishResign 0
haha true
CallMeHush 1
It would have been really nice if you reached back to help a brother out.
xStiina 0
Hahahaahaha. Old guy ;)