Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
You OK, hun?
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
I'm in a hurry
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Bladder control
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
RUDE!
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my mother came up to me at swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML
Surprise!
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Nice meeting you!
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
Top comments
nolifeatall 6
what a bitch, i would have just run into the stall before her. you def didn't deserve it.
alexandraa_fml 0
What a hag!
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Comments (137)
OohAah01 0
Well, I guess you can't say your pregnancy snuck up on you, so you should have sat near the exit and peed earlier, even if you had to miss part of your show. ANYways...I'm kinda glad you peed your pants because it's funny. :)
makeLemonaid 0
At shows, everybody tends to go to the restroom at intermission because they don't want to have to go later on during the show which can make for a kind of unfortunate situation for someone who is about the burst. It's kind of awkward/embarrassing to tell a stranger that you are about the pee in your pants, so I wouldn't assume that they were lying, and really pregnant or not its just common courtesy to let someone cut if they are about to wet themselves because most if not all people in that line probably don't have to go that badly.
neon_shoes 0
How do you know she (the lady who you asked) didn't have some type of bladder issue? Or maybe she had to go really badly and didn't want to get up before because she knew that she would be disturbing the rest of the audience by getting up or because someone she knew was in the play. OP, you probably shouldn't be going to play's if you know you have to pee so much since you are disturbing many people.
mo_the_owl 0
haha I wonder if I know the OP... I'll have to ask her about this one
ChairForce 0
Obviously you've never been pregnant, Shady. You have to go like, every half hour. There was once that I had to go right after getting out of the bathroom. Also, the need can strike suddenly, usually because the baby kicks your bladder, and it's bathroom NOW or you pee yourself, no warning. Neon_shoes, are you saying that pregnant women should just stay home for nine months to keep from disturbing the general public? What an asinine thing to say.
Shady_R 0
Nope never been pregnant nor do I ever intend to be pregnant. But its till offensive to call it a disability and if you have to go every half an hour than go every half an hour instead of waiting until intermission and expecting special treatment.
Jenmaree 9
You should have put your hand on your wet crotch and then wiped it on the bitch's face. Although, YDI for not doing your pelvic floor muscle exercises.
Jaguaress 2
That sucks, but I'll say that there are adult diapers like Depends that you could've worn because you can't always rely on people being nice. Congrats on your pregnancy, though.
Shady_R 0
Take a look at my comment. Never did I once claim to know more about pregnancy than people who have been through one. What I'm saying is that pregnancy doesn't not fit any of the criteria for disbility. Take a look at the definitions below courtesy of dictionary.com. 1. lack of adequate power, strength, or physical or mental ability; incapacity. 2. a physical or mental handicap, esp. one that prevents a person from living a full, normal life or from holding a gainful job. 3. anything that disables or puts one at a disadvantage: His mere six-foot height will be a disability in professional basketball.
boatkicker 5
"lack of adequate power, strength," It seems she did not have the proper POWER/STRENGTH to prevent herself from peeing. "3. anything that disables or puts one at a disadvantage:" I do believe that having someone kick your bladder puts you at a disadvantage, for not wetting yourself.
hellyjellybean 0
Some people! I can't believe how morons can blame this on the OP. In the UK by law you cannot refuse to allow a pregnant woman toilet access; a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants, including in a bobby's helmet! Shame there wasn't one handy. It's obvious that the situation is hardly like a non-pregnant person's, if you think about how pregnancy must squash your bladder etc. jeez. This is my first fml comment, and i also want to add that it pisses me off when people say you deserve it to someone who may have been a bit silly but I'm sure you've done some retarded things in your life, hell your actual posts are retarded. FML has become an unfriendlier place. Dickheads, your balls aren't as big as your internuts.
mozrox 0
It would have been very nice for the lady to let OP cut in front of her, but I think the thing that's pissing people off is that OP EXPECTED the lady to let her go first; you can't just expect everyone to cater to your needs, even if you are pregnant. I would absolutely let a pregnant woman cut in front of me. I'd do it out of compassion, but not everyone would feel badly for someone who got herself knocked up and is now unhappy with the consequences. About the squashed bladder thing, that only happens when the baby is big enough to apply pressure to the bladder. Obviously OP's baby wasn't big enough to squash her bladder if she wasn't even showing.
Firesprite2009 0
She didn't expect. She asked a question, and in return, got an unfriendly answer, bitching, and wet knickers.
xNephilim 19
That's bullshit. My SIL is only a few months along and barely showing and she already has to pee all the time.
CaroAurelia 12
#119, the ****? A, she doesn't seem to have EXPECTED to be let past. She asked nicely. B, she didn't say she'd "gotten knocked up and was unhappy with the consequences." For all we know, this could be a planned and very wanted baby, but that doesn't change the fact that she has to piss.