Today, I went to see a play. I'm pregnant, so I always need to pee. At intermission, I ran to use the bathroom, but there was a really long line. I asked the woman in front of me if I could pass her. She responded, "You don't look pregnant!", and lectured me about lying while I peed my pants. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, I was working in my store. Right around closing, a lady came in to try some things on. I went to the back and when I came out, she was standing in the middle of the room with fluid coming from between her legs. I asked her if she was going into labor. She wasn't. She was peeing. FML
Today, while driving my son and his friend home, I was so frantic to pee, I was bouncing up and down in my seat. I stopped and ran into a store but it was too late. There was a line and I made it 11 seconds. I was radiating heat from the humiliation of walking past dozens of people after peeing my pants. I even apologized. FML
Today, I listened to a woman take an extremely fragrant crap while I waited for my pregnacy test result in the Target bathroom. FML
Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML
Today, my mother came up to me at swim meet and shouted to me in the bleachers "If you have to go potty, go now because there is a long line!". I'm seventeen. FML
Today, at nine months pregnant, I stopped at a truck stop to use the restroom. I opened an unlocked stall door and stood face to face with a woman bent over wiping. She let out a scream so blood-curdlingly loud that I wet myself. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I'm pregnant, though I don't really suffer from morning sickness. I do however suffer from sympathy puking, which kicked in with horrifying consequences when someone burst in and started vomiting in one of the other stalls. FML
Today, I had a customer tell me how much she regretted not aborting her expected child, how much she hates the father, and described to me in immense detail what it is like to pee while pregnant. All within the 30 seconds it took me to serve her. FML
Today, I was at the movies with my boyfriend when I really had to pee. I tried to get out of the aisle in a hurry so I wouldn't disturb anyone when I tripped, landing on the people in the row in front of me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nolifeatall 6
what a bitch, i would have just run into the stall before her. you def didn't deserve it.
alexandraa_fml 0
What a hag!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (137)
cookiepussrawr 0
Oh MAN...OP, I feel for you. I'm 14 weeks and no one believes I am pregnant yet and I get grief all the time along the lines of "you're lying". Gee, guess I have a lot of people in on the ruse considering all the damned appointments and stuff! So sorry some nasty witch put you in that position :(
purplepickle 0
oh that sucks :( and you were probably wearing a nice dress and everything since it was a play
theeBeezWaXx 0
i would have pee'd on her
SarahMarie83 0
If you had to go so badly that you wet yourself, why were you waiting for intermission when there's sure to be a long line? Take some responsibility for yourself and don't expect others to make up for your own errors. The lecture was a bit much but being pregnant doesn't make you any more important than anyone else.
ClaireXX 0
This is very true. Why did you wait so long to go?
CheshireHalli 19
You do realize that a lot of theatres won't let you out until intermission, right? And I don't get the vibe she was like "I'm pregnant, get out of my way!" More like she tried to explain WHY she had to pee so badly. FYL, OP.
cookiepussrawr 0
Thank you for this reply!
Tequilamockngbrd 7
OP said there was a long line. I'm thinking that when she first went, she didn't feel like she had to pee herself, but as time passed when she waited in line, it got harder and harder to hold it in.
The_Nothing 0
Pregnancy can be dangerous you flipping idiot.
Jewelofagal 2
I hate that word...it's so uncouth. Why not use the more gracious phrase, "Visit the restroom"?
null_fml 11
"Visit the restroom" = 18 characters / 5 syllables "pee" = 3 characters / 1 syllable
patticake1601 0
hahahahahahaha, uncouth!!! you have got to be kidding right? You're on FML!!! Aw crap now I've peed ma pants from laughing so hard.
ActionManly 11
No, that is, you pissed yourself after ROFL'ing too much
Chocolate_Chunk 2
You visited the restroom on yourself because you were amused?
vinachin 5
Get Out!!!!
terriibabiiix23 0
woooow, that sucks. you should have pushed that lady out of your way & run into the stall before hurr.
Yarrachel 16
YDI for having sex while still in high school.
jessxoxo28 5
how would u no she's in high skool?
lostfaithinpppl 19
#33, stop smoking that stuff. It makes you dumb.
Yarrachel 16
Just reading between the lines.
CheshireHalli 19
The lines that don't exist? =/ Nowhere does it say anything that she could possibly be in high school.
sLAUGHTERxx 0
Some people just don't "look pregnant" when they are pregnant. My older sister's best friend got pregnant when she was 17 and she didn't look pregnant at all. But she's a really small person, so her child was also very small. But this woman had no right to judge your statement on being pregnant. People don't usually lie about such things. And if it was a woman who had kids already, you could have said "You were pregnant once, so don't you know about the whole peeing situation?" or something like that. You could have told her you were not lying and that you'd show her the pregnancy test if you needed to (although you wouldn't be carrying them around, it would just scare her. If you do infact carry your pregnancy tests around, I'd be a little worried for you). You could have told her to feel your stomach (unless it's too early to feel kicking). You could have done a TON of things to avoid this situation. But again, this woman shouldn't have judged. I say FYL for being a grown woman and peeing your pants, not FYL for the woman thinking you were lying. You definately don't deserve it, and I don't see why people say you do.
Starfire22 5
People don't go into long explanations when they have to pee. If she did any of the things you suggested, the op would still have pissed herself.
I_Own_Ubers 0
yer u should just run into the blokes, uouwill get weird looks, but rarely does anyone take a shit and people only use the real toilets to take a piss so u will have to wait for like 30s
shortmomma88 0
working retail has shown me that people will lie about being pregnant and even having a baby that died just so they can get their way. that being said, i would have let the op cut me in line. thats terrible and im sorry that happened to you. and for all the anti fat people out there...i didnt show until i was 30 weeks with either of my kids and i am a small person.