Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted to try something that would turn me on immediately. While I was in our bed, she came in, wearing only the underwear she took from our 13 year-old daughter's closet. Now she doesn't understand why I'm genuinely disgusted and don't want to have sex with her. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML
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Top comments
Tedet 0
You dress your hand up in sexy lingerie?
anelard 6
That is a disgusting thing to say to anyone. You should be ashamed of yourself.
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Comments (112)
lonelyandbroke 0
If she dressed up all sexy for you and made out with you for 10 minutes, how couldn't she be attracted to you, wouldnt she know this before getting to that point? This doesn't make much sense to me. Was she drunk or afraid of sex?
xNephilim 19
Eh, making out with someone doesn't necessarily mean you're sexually attracted to them.
jakwob69 11
Maybe she dressed up and made out with him in an attempt to make herself aroused by him. When it didn't happen, she was honest.
longboat 0
This chick waffles harder than Brett Favre, looks like you need to find another fish in the sea.
Kenpachi_fml 0
have her make u a sandwich for beint a ****
aback 5
Put a wig on your hand. You'll be better off.
sch1ll 0
that fxckin sucks i guess, u must have had some major bule balls!
Casualt1234 0
have sex with her mother and right when you're about to make her ****** (assuming you have the capability), pull out and say, "sorry, I'm not sexually attracted to you. your daughter made me gay." then **** on a picture of your girlfriend's father and walk out the door.
leofan15 0
wtf?
jhommie9696 0
lmfao WORD!
DameGreyWulf 1
Awww... that's really too bad. You can't get mad at her for that, though... you just break up with her. At least she was honest.
BeeSkwaird 0
You're a female, aren't you...?
DameGreyWulf 1
Yes...?
Casualt1234 0
Female...?
DameGreyWulf 1
Lol...?
Intoxicunt 6
Dots...?
john_bell 0
Why the **** not ...?
X3R0X1238 0
your a sick son of a bitch
MiniatureMayhem 0
I hate people. Now I have a mental image of someone giving head to Phil Spector.
Frenz 0
Now imagine that someone is your father...
wow18 3
What she really means is that she doesn't find him attractive with his clothes off. She probably finds him hot/cute/handsome from the face but just not sexy or hot when it comes to his body, and therefore she can't have sex with him. I know lots of guys who're attractive from the face and i wouldn't mind making out with them but i wouldn't find them too hot with their clothes off. Simply because i can't have sex with a guy who's either too skinny or chubby at all. OP, sucks to be you. Either meet her requirement or just call it off. Your gf is kind of stupid for staying with you if she doesn't find you attractive, unless she just has no interest in sex.
DameGreyWulf 1
Hmm.... You know, you bring up an interesting point. OP should talk about her sex drive, unless she's not a virgin. Actually, it sounds to me like they need a good sex talk in general. Find out what her issue is, see if it's fixable. After all, it sounds like she was ready to go, but then changed her mind. There are some people who get into relationships for the personality, and the sexual attraction just comes along later down the road. There are also people who try to force themselves to like someone else, but when they do that it's difficult for them to sleep with them. Something needs to be discussed.
Bunny1313 0
omg u need to run now!! lol this girl is obviously just using u. i'm a girl and I know all the games!! they just wanna get what they can. and when they feel you slipping away they will reel you in like a fish by playing the sex game!! just be careful
GriefBacon 0
OMG you are obviously still a virgin and know nothing about using anyone beyond what you read in Twilight.