Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's house. She had promised me we'd get it on so I couldn't wait. When I got there, I didn't get it on. Instead, I got a list of reasons why I make her depressed. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was sexually frustrated. Naturally, I started coming on to her, only for her to shove me away and snap that just because she was sexually frustrated, it didn't mean that she wanted sex. Huh? FML
Today, my wife told me she wanted to try something that would turn me on immediately. While I was in our bed, she came in, wearing only the underwear she took from our 13 year-old daughter's closet. Now she doesn't understand why I'm genuinely disgusted and don't want to have sex with her. FML
Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML
Today, my girlfriend came up to me and told me we would never do anything sexual in our relationship. She said I was too adorable to take seriously in bed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Tedet 0
You dress your hand up in sexy lingerie?
anelard 6
That is a disgusting thing to say to anyone. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (112)
icertainlysuck 0
that seriously happened to me the other day. i feel ur pain. FYL
GriefBacon 0
Some have said "is she gay?" I would ask...since you have not provided a gender....is she STRAIGHT and you are gay? or is she possibly an Irish Setter? What makes a person not attracted to another person with sexual organs? I still don't get it. FYL. Sorry for your pain. Find someone who likes you and stop wasting your time with someone who doesn't know what she wants.
GriefBacon 0
.
Cant_Touch_This_ 0
Wow. I dont know what to say. Besides COCKBLOCK OF THE CENTURY!
friscobuff 0
YDI FOR HAVING A 3' PENIS!
turnedoffTVgrey 0
He has a three FOOT penis? At least if that was the case he would have a career in **** for the rest of his life.
dedalus_fml 0
I think he must have meant a 3" penis. I used to be embarrased about having a 3" penis...but then I discovered girls really don't mind it that wide :rimshot:
joy1523 0
YDI for dating a "girlfriend" who "still" isn't sexually attracted to you... meaning you are dating a girl who has told you before that she isn't sexually attracted to you...? find a girlfriend who does. problem solved.
la_vie_en_rose 0
I guess it wasn't as passionate as you thought.
mattmag 0
At least you didn't find out upon arrival at the destination of an expensive vacation. sigh...
Kira_fml 0
WHOAAAAAA TEN MINUTES! is that your record?
reneeiscute 0
The ten minutes of JUST making out probably should have hinted at something. But really, that sucks.