Today, I went to get my nails done for the first time in a while. I don't like to go that much because two of my toes are connected, and I'm very self-conscious about it. The man painting my toes started laughing when he saw them and called all the other employees over to look. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went to get a pedicure for the first time. My feet are VERY ticklish. I reflexively kicked the poor lady in the face, as I wet my pants. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a pedicure ahead of my cousin's wedding. The woman doing my nails asked if I wanted my toe hairs trimmed. I was so taken aback and embarrassed that I said yes. They charged me extra. FML
Today, I was with a wedding party getting manicures. I absentmindedly used a freshly-painted nail to pick my nose and ended up with two beauticians scraping indestructible bright red gel varnish out of my left nostril with acetone soaked q-tips, while everyone sat waiting in complete silence. FML
Today, at my annual checkup, the doc looks down at my foot and says, "Oh, you have an extra toenail. Six, huh?" Then sort of scraping at the side of my foot below the pinky toe, he pulls off a long piece of dead, dried skin and says, "Oh." FML
Today, I went to get my first manicure. While waiting, I looked at the menu board. When I wondered aloud: "I know what a French manicure is, but what on Earth is a Polish change?" The whole place started laughing and I guess I'm not going back. FML
Today, my girlfriend bought this hot pink Chanel nail polish. Bored, she thought it would be funny to paint my nails. I finally gave in and let her paint my toe nails. After she left, my buddy calls to to see if I can give him a ride. I forgot I had a swim meet today. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, the woman giving me a manicure found a booger under one of my fingernails. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me how he used to collect little things when he was younger. He then decided to tell me about his current big toe nail collection. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure to cheer myself up. I've been so lonely, I got overly excited when someone sat next to me, because I got to pretend I had a friend. FML
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Top comments
EvilPotato 15
File a complaint on their asses!
iRoc46n2 4
Just tell them you're genetically superior
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Comments (203)
SpringDiver 6
Okay that is sort of cool in a way.. But try learning to paint your own nails. But filing a compliant works to.
mrnuleef 7
I say own it. Its not going anywhere (unless you fix it surgically) so get your nails done, where flip flops, open toed shoes, go bare foot! just do what your heart desires, only person stopping you is you!
sillyyanks 24
Urgh the phrase "own it". I agree with your sentiment but I wholly disagree with that awful phrase!!!
TheMathMajor 26
That's a little odd. What's wrong with saying "own it"?
desireev 18
This comment, hands down, is the best comment I've seen on this FML.
rebel_belle1974 5
I'm a webbie too, and believe me its nothing to be ashamed of
3yellowzebras 19
Us webbies should stick together :)
rs89 20
I'm very sorry OP, but none of us is born perfect. I'd have imitated the pretty woman scene when you ask him if he works on commissions and tips because he's just lost a customer. Then you walk out like a baws saying "big mistake. Huge."
Ugi 27
Hey, I have two webbed toes as well - it just means I can swim faster! He's an idiot but you really needn't feel self-conscious about it. It's worth trying to coming to terms with if you can.
CookieKidrauhl 0
That's extremely immature and unprofessional of them.
iiAntheA17 7
Aww! It's not that bad! My cousins toes are all connected. You only have two! Just think of what you COULD have, instead of what you have OP (:
harrison918 5
I know how you feel OP. One time I went to get a haircut and the barber happened to be depressed. She ended up just shaving patches of my hair and leaving others unshaved. The next day I went someplace new and the barber did the same thing that happened to you. They now remember as the guy with that really bad haircut :/
day624 14
I hope you didn't pay them!!!!!!
vuragado 10
I smell a lawsuit