By Anonymous - 12/1/2021 20:01

Red flag

Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1012

You deserved it

115

Tweet

Share

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Season finale

Fire hydrant

By nickw177 - United States

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14247

You deserved it

20653

Tweet

Share

By smurfette7413 - 13/10/2020 05:01

Monster couch

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a little fun when the pull-out couch decided to try to eat us. Now I have a broken nose and my boyfriend keeps making jokes about the "human eating couch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

995

You deserved it

149

Tweet

Share

By Noname - South Africa

Today, at a strategy session my manager displayed a flow chart of his employees. I wasn't included. Apparently I had been fired and they forgot to tell me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58647

You deserved it

2428

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was about to get in the shower, when I felt an odd itch in my navel. I saw what I thought was bellybutton lint, so I pulled on it, and quickly realized what I had between my fingers was a still-squirming, headless tick. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32438

You deserved it

2839

Tweet

Share

By drewB - United States

Today, it was my first day being home after doing a 4 and a half month hike through the Appalachian Trail. This evening, I stepped out my front door and directly onto a copperhead snake. It thought my leg was tasty, and I went to the ER for the first time in over 20+ years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1710

You deserved it

120

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 30/9/2020 07:25 - United States

Mean girls

Today, I watched our presidential candidates face off like high school girls with the whole world watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1273

You deserved it

258

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/2/2020 14:00

Bad liar

Today, I was supposed to see my boyfriend for his birthday. He said his parents were coming down and it may not be a good time for us to really enjoy each other. Last night I saw a picture of him feeding popcorn to baby llamas with his drunk stoner friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1607

You deserved it

228

Tweet

Share

By Clogged Nose - 19/3/2020 02:32

Smells like teen spirit of America

Today, I had to train a new guy whose body odor was killing me. After he'd left, I had to run two industry size fans to blow the stench out of my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1555

You deserved it

117

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered my water bottle had leaked and spilled water all over my backpack, ruining my notebooks, soaking my schoolbooks, and destroying my midterm portfolio. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29690

You deserved it

5698

Tweet

Share

By babybreath - United States

Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47007

You deserved it

10147

Tweet

Share

By ohmaigawd - Argentina

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47407

You deserved it

6939

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Lebanon

Today, while cleaning around the house, I found a black bra that wasn’t mine. I confronted my husband about it, which turned into a massive fight. It turned out that the bra actually belonged to my son’s girlfriend I didn’t know he had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15503

You deserved it

30297

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Mount Carmel

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23423

You deserved it

47010

Tweet

Share

By ProudMamma - Canada - Oakville

Today, my ex came back into my life, professing his love and begging for another chance. This begging act ended rather suddenly once he remembered I have a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14235

You deserved it

1135

Tweet

Share

By athlete47

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I was "changing too much." My big change was a haircut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1567

You deserved it

122

Tweet

Share

By Insensitive - Australia

Today, I sent a get well card to my friend. it wasn't until after I got home from posting it did I realise that the stamps I put on the envelope had the phrase "Let's Get Active" on them with drawings of people playing sports. My friend is in a wheelchair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28045

You deserved it

12242

Tweet

Share

By ChaosFerret - United States - Eugene

Today, I spent six hours making chicken and black bean chili for a big family gathering. I go to use the restroom. I come back to the pot on the floor with my cat standing in the chili, eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13554

You deserved it

2074

Tweet

Share

By 911 - France

Today, my boss sneezed onto his hands and then licked them in front of my best customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41130

You deserved it

2305

Tweet

Share

By crapcrapcrap - United States

Today, I went on my first date with a guy I really like. He completely ignored me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30040

You deserved it

4752

Tweet

Share

By sydsophnova - United States

Today, my boyfriend was on the roof of his house. I climbed the ladder but I am kind of scared of heights so when I got up there I just sat on the edge. The gutter broke and fell down and I fell along with it. My boyfriend said, "I've been trying to tell you to go on a diet". FML

I agree, your life sucks

45015

You deserved it

9436

Tweet

Share

By lactose intolerant - United States - Los Angeles

Today, my little sister thought I was making up I’m lactose intolerant, so she swapped my dairy-free milk with regular milk. I’m writing this from the toilet and I’ve been here for at least 20 minutes, with cramps and diarrhoea. She’s also complaining about the foul smell coming from the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2707

You deserved it

156

Tweet

Share

By graduate - United States

Today, I got a computer. When I opened it, I found out that my dad had made himself the administrator. He made it so everything shut off after 11 o'clock, and made it so I couldn't download anything without his password. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66836

You deserved it

7551

Tweet

Share

By traumatized4life - United States

Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40274

You deserved it

2868

Tweet

Share

By TKDConnor92 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31580

You deserved it

6694

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized the only reason my boyfriend is dating me is because he has a pimple fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43575

You deserved it

5258

Tweet

Share

By DMStarsky - United States

Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30496

You deserved it

4669

Tweet

Share

By Grant - United States

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36657

You deserved it

3084

Tweet

Share

By leela - United States

Today, a group of guys came into my restaurant, dressed up in some kind of role-playing game clothing. Apparently I pronounced one of their fake elf names wrong, because the guy complained to my manager, who then bitched me out in front of everyone for upsetting the customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48516

You deserved it

4828

Tweet

Share

By Woops - United States - Secaucus

Today, a schoolmate I've always secretly hated came over to my place to hang out. She found her way to my room and instantly noticed my dartboard, which I'd taped a picture of her face onto. FML

I agree, your life sucks

22777

You deserved it

47128

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I went downtown with my friends. A group of guys came up to us and started hitting on everyone but me. Then, one of them said: "Do you girls hang out with her to make yourselves look better?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

43724

You deserved it

3844

Tweet

Share

By mr.palendrome - United States

Today, I was teasing my little brother. Later that night, I went to the bathroom to wash up. While I'm brushing my teeth, my little brother slips a photo under the door that shows him scrubbing my toothbrush against his nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52304

You deserved it

28034

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, at my wedding reception, my father began his speech with "Well, I never, ever thought that this day would come," at which point the entire room, including my new husband, broke into a round of enthusiastic applause. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43388

You deserved it

4692

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - Switzerland - Bern

Today, as if to prove that there is no end to the unspeakable stupidity of the human race, a patient was brought into my hospital, needing a cellphone removed from his anus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

54879

You deserved it

3575

Tweet

Share

By Seriously?

Today, my friend with benefits got my new car stuck in a mud hole. I had to call my ex to get us unstuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3995

You deserved it

1963

Tweet

Share

By fbcaught - United States

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10722

You deserved it

38317

Tweet

Share

By embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7692

You deserved it

27608

Tweet

Share

By anonymous

Today, my parents and in-laws are in a bidding war for the house next door, since we are about to have a son. We're not even sure if we want them living this close. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21541

You deserved it

1449

Tweet

Share

By jennabean - United States

Today, I was in the car for 8 hours driving home from North Carolina with my family. We brought my dog along and I was petting her for most of the ride. I thought she fell asleep, so I continued to play with her. She never woke up. I played with a dead dog for almost an hour and a half. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66753

You deserved it

4592

Tweet

Share

By stutterernotschizophrenic

Today, I was alone in my dorm room rehearsing comments to make in my writing class tomorrow. I grew up with a severe stutter, and rehearsing like this is one of the ways I keep my speech under control. What I didn't plan on was my roommate walking in. I think she now thinks I'm schizophrenic. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26691

You deserved it

2966

Tweet

Share

By Liz0352 - United States - Bainbridge Island

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2844

You deserved it

261

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By xxlk4xx | 4

#7963948 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 21:33

I think they legally have to call to have someone check on you if they feel your safety may be in jeopardy! although I'm sure that was unpleasant to experience i hope at least you were directed to further help. good for you for reaching out for help! I hope things get better.

By sarahcroy20 | 12

#7963952 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 22:55

The therapist would only call the police if you were a danger to yourself or others.

COMMENTS

By xxlk4xx | 4

#7963948 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 21:33

I think they legally have to call to have someone check on you if they feel your safety may be in jeopardy! although I'm sure that was unpleasant to experience i hope at least you were directed to further help. good for you for reaching out for help! I hope things get better.

By sarahcroy20 | 12

#7963952 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 22:55

The therapist would only call the police if you were a danger to yourself or others.

By Adrian Garza | 2

#7965078 - Sunday 17 January 2021 17:37

It's okay that's means your therapist cared enough to worry for you you deserve that