By Anonymous - 12/1/2021 20:01

Red flag

Today, I tried therapy to talk about my problems without feeling like i am harassing anyone. After messaging a therapist for over 2 hours, I felt way better and finally understood. It turned out I'm in such a bad mental state that I'm a danger to myself and others. Police were called by the therapist. FML

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Serious times

Stained

Toxic parents

By wellfuck - United States - Clarksville

Today, I got a call from a job I had applied for. Everything went great until I realized I had applied to the wrong location, across town. I'm so broke, I went to the interview anyway. It will cost me more to pay for the gas to drive there to work, than what I will actually make. FML

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By DarkDisaster - United States

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

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By whoops - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, I accidentally sent my boss an explicit text message. She replied saying, "Very detailed, if only you put that much effort into your work". FML

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By lying fuck! - 22/6/2020 14:02

Shameless

Today, I walked into my husband's office and accidentally interrupted his business call to tell him dinner was ready. Silly me, I didn’t realize his "business call" included Skyping with his topless ex, with his pants down. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me during a funeral. FML

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By Abu

Today I broke my glasses beyond repair. I am very nearly legally blind. I get my glasses at Walmart and today, Christmas, is the only day out of the entire year that they are closed. Merry Christmas to me. FML

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By wow - United States

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

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By sadsexer23 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriends virginity and had given it my all. When I had finished, sweating and tired, I looked down at her and smiled, obviously pleased with myself. She looked up at me and said, "Wait, was that it?" FML

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By Anonymous

Halved

Today, I went to the hair salon to get a fresh trim before receiving my master's diploma. The hairdresser managed to shave off half my eyebrow. FML

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By I must suck at singing - United States

Today, my neighbor had a word with me for being "loud in the bedroom" last night. I haven't had any action for two years now, but I was too happy that she thought I'd got lucky to tell her the truth. So what was I really doing last night? Trying to sing like Christina Aguilera. FML

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By Djcc - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were watching TV, I asked him if he loved me. He turned up the volume. FML

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By INeedaNewJob - United States - Kent

Today, my wife received a $15,000 bonus from her work. I got a backpack from mine. FML

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By BathroomMuch - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

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By stepsister - United States

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

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By Aaron

Today, my house was broken into. How? My mom left a key under a flower pot on the porch. She also left a note on the door saying so. He stole all of my guitars. FML

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By chacha_bby - United States

Today, I had a party at my house. When my parents came home, my dad asked how the party was. I told him I didn't know what he was talking about, to which he responded "Well the puke all over the driveway begs to differ." FML

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By bugnose

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

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By Lovenem - United States

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

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By hello to you too - United States - New York

Today, I met my new 7ft tall and heavily muscular neighbor. Before I could say anything, he greeted me in his really deep voice with, "Excuse me, but is this yours?" He was holding my muddy 3-year-old son, who he'd found in his backyard, by his jumpers like a stuffed cat. FML

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By lolowills

Today, I was complimented by my guests about the great of service I was giving them. They then left me a $2 tip on a $50 tab. FML

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By thatguy - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and told me to leave the house because "I've been mooching off her for too long". I'm 14 and now am sleeping at my friends house. FML

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By Sleepless

Today, my dad and I had to move in with my mom. There's only two tiny rooms, and my aunt lives there along with her dogs and my cat. The dogs have tried to kill my cat, I have to share the bed with my mom, who snores BAD, and I haven't slept in two days. I work early all week. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of two years has a beautiful daughter. That's cool, except she's 1 year old. FML

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By tm - United States - Madisonville

Today, I went to the emergency room with chest pain. I didn't have a heart attack, but I now have a broken nose after passing out and face-planting in the waiting room. FML

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By Ulysse - United Kingdom

Today, on my first day at a new job, my boss asked how old I was. I replied, "Eighteen." She responded that she was my age thirty years ago, which makes her the same age as my mum. When I told her, she gave me a puzzled look, so I repeated myself. She was my age thirteen years ago, not thirty. FML

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By Anonymous - Finland - Vammala

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

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By thanksfyi - Norway

Today, I found out via Facebook that my brother got engaged several days ago. Not only did he not tell me, but we live in the same house. FML

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By marie - 10/3/2021 16:59

Run, run now

Today, I discovered my husband of 3 years is cheating on me with another woman. Nice to know he has absolutely zero feelings for me at all. FML

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By Jennifer - Canada - Lethbridge

Today, I was at school deleting documents I no longer needed on my school account. After clicking empty trash can, I saw a final paper on political science deleted. I'm not in political science, and I wasn't deleting files on my account. FML

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By Whoops - United States

Today, at my job in a nursing home, the State Department of Health inspected us, during which a dementia patient repeatedly screamed that I always hurt her. This was the first time that I'd ever seen her. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, after weeks of being hounded to go out on a date with this guy, I finally found the time and invited him over, fully intending to hook up. He stood me up. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

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By flattened

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

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By Julie

Today, I had red eyes from crying, and everyone assumed that my mom, who has been seriously ill, had died so they tried comforting me. It was quite embarrassing to have to tell them that it was because I'd just watched the last episode of season 4 of Veronica Mars. FML

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By CombatShadow45 - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend of three years on a romantic picnic to the park, so I could propose to her. The moment was just right, I made my move. I knelt down on one knee and asked her. Her response was "you're kneeling in dog poop." I looked down. She was right. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that it is never, ever a good idea to put a band-aid of any kind on your penis, because eventually you will have to take it off. FML

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By Barking Mad - Australia - Revesby

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

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By Raela - United States - Fort Lee

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

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By oops secretary

Today, after I had an excellent one night stand with a guy yesterday, I saw him at work. He was a client my boss was trying to talk into a deal. The guy recognised me and accused my boss of sending me to seduce him into signing the contract. The deal fell apart and my boss is livid with me. FML

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Top comments

By xxlk4xx | 5

#7963948 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 21:33

I think they legally have to call to have someone check on you if they feel your safety may be in jeopardy! although I'm sure that was unpleasant to experience i hope at least you were directed to further help. good for you for reaching out for help! I hope things get better.

By sarahcroy20 | 12

#7963952 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 22:55

The therapist would only call the police if you were a danger to yourself or others.

COMMENTS

By xxlk4xx | 5

#7963948 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 21:33

I think they legally have to call to have someone check on you if they feel your safety may be in jeopardy! although I'm sure that was unpleasant to experience i hope at least you were directed to further help. good for you for reaching out for help! I hope things get better.

By sarahcroy20 | 12

#7963952 - Tuesday 12 January 2021 22:55

The therapist would only call the police if you were a danger to yourself or others.

By Adrian Garza | 2

#7965078 - Sunday 17 January 2021 17:37

It's okay that's means your therapist cared enough to worry for you you deserve that