Sex and Intimacy: Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were...

By Noname - 25/02/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box saying, "Love, mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 135 945

You deserved it 24 452

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Same thing different taste

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 789

You deserved it 121 732

By Mary - 04/12/2011 22:47 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was packing for his annual hunting trip, I saw him slip a box of condoms into his bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 004

You deserved it 4 096

By MenstruallyFrustrated - 23/07/2013 17:18 - United States - Surprise

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 982

You deserved it 6 205

Repent!

By Mauro - 22/03/2022 16:00

Today, I told my ultra-Catholic mother that I was hanging out with a girl. While walking out of the flat, I didn't realize that I'd dropped one of my condoms out of my pocket. My mother saw it and ripped it apart, then yelled at me that, "Sex is for having children! You're giving yourselves to Satan!" I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 249

You deserved it 319

TMI FML

By eugh - 07/05/2021 14:01 - United States - Midlothian

Today, I discovered the brand of condoms my parents use. It was in the same grocery bag as my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 568

Kinda awkward

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 01:18 - United States - Tampa

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 244

You deserved it 37 870

By Catholicguy - 20/12/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, I was about to propose. I got on my knee in front of my girlfriend and opened the box. My friend thought it would be funny to replace the ring with a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 295

You deserved it 4 542

Quickshot

By anon - 31/08/2014 15:14 - United States

Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 384

You deserved it 6 023

By condom_kid - 27/07/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 415

You deserved it 73 560

To do what?

By Anonymous - 02/04/2022 02:00 - Australia - Shailer Park

Today, I opened my boyfriend's bedside table drawer. There was a condom wrapper in there. We don't use condoms. He claims he didn’t have sex with anybody, he just wanted to put the condom over his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 052

You deserved it 199

Stupoopy 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:13

You should go to your mom in two weeks and be like "MOM I THINK THE CONDOMS I HAD DIDN'T WORK! NOW IM PREGNANT!" and then we'll see who's laughing.

curious_missy 1

Wednesday 25 February 2009 9:19

bill her for the replacement condom! Also write Love, Your Safe Daughter

Comments

whattheshit 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 22:20

Yeah, why does your mom have jesus pins laying around?

thisman121 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:53

just do it without, its your moms fault for ruining your contraceptive, so you might as well enjoy it and do it without

Cantexplain1234 0

Monday 9 March 2009 5:37

Hey mom? I had to use these condoms for a physics project, why do they have a hole in them? Brand new box, and an easy explanation.

sucks2byou522 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:34

lol #76 and your mom is ****** batshit. my mom is too, so i feel your pain

Lovebug9 0

Monday 9 March 2009 21:45

Like that is going to stop you. Hah. Talking is a better sex-stopper than jesus. Especially when jesus is in my condoms.

vampire_fetish15 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 23:22

man! i hate people who are Jesus freaks! dude, this is why I'm atheist. how dare she do that to YOUR condoms. yesh. evil mom.

Cami_xx 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 0:54

Sounds like MY MOM. Haha. She'd flip shittt. xD

browneyedbeauty 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 2:27

what the hell is a Jesus pin?

isantorin 0

Thursday 12 March 2009 6:57

A Jesus pin is a pin with Jesus on it. What's so hard about this. It's really, really hard to say what OP's mom was thinking. Was this a joke or is she always like this? Either way, stupid thing to do. Totally go pull a prank on her.

bassguitar19 1

Friday 13 March 2009 3:27

wow... its so sad to see all these stuck up parents. i have no problem with religion, but some people need to put down the bible and have some nice pre-marital sex or a nice wank. breaking a few rules wont send you to hell