Today, I went to dinner with an amazing guy. At the end he said he had to go to the washroom. 15 min later he was still MIA, so I figured he'd ditched me with the bill. I paid and left. 10 min later he texted me, asking where I was. Turns out he hadn't ditched me. He was having "stomach issues." FML
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Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy. I lost interest in him quick, so I excused myself to go to the bathroom, hoping to make a run for the hills. As soon as I reached the front door, our server yells out, "I hope you’re not thinking about dining and dashing!" FML
Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML
Today, I went on a date at a restaurant with a guy. When he promised I wouldn't have to pay the bill, I didn't think he meant we'd be dining and dashing. FML
Today, my friend took me and a bunch of other guys out to a nice dinner. This was his way to say thank you for helping him move to a new apartment. He got the cheque, excused himself to go to the restroom and never came back to pay. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML
Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML
Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my date shat himself. He spent the entire meal pretending nothing had happened. FML
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Top comments
Big_lama6 7
Perhaps you should have atleast tried calling or texting him before you left?
ghostlilac 25
Aww poor guy! That's so embarassing :(
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Comments (147)
AussieChild 22
YDI for automatically assuming the first about guys
white16sox 19
You're an idiot. After 15 minutes of them not being back from the bathroom, you wouldn't think your date ditched you? And don't try to bullshit me with a " No I wouldn't because I'm very patient."
little_one 20
I would assume he left... Most of the time bathroom trips take only a couple minutes... 15 is a long time and when you get pity looks from the staff cause they think he left you with the bill would not help.
outoftown 27
I'd text, then ask the staff to check if no reply. Better to be embarassed about being dumped than about being insensitive.
AussieChild 22
My best friends are all guys. They are CONTINUALLY in the bathroom for long periods of times. If the guy was so amazing, I would have given him the benefit of the doubt
eggmarie 25
My best friends are all 19/20 year old males and they only take like 5 minutes to shit (except one who takes ten). All men are different. She may not have a lot of guy friends and not known they take a little longer to go.
Ajwc101 24
Did you tell him why you left?
xxxSANAxxx 0
I dont think he's too mad since he got a free meal ;)
perdix 31
He is amazing! He got a chick to pay for dinner on a date! David Blaine can't even pull off that trick. So, what was this "stomach issue?" Did his ovarian cyst rupture?
Jirekianu2 19
IBS is a hell of a condition
perdix 31
IBS is a bowel condition which is past the stomach. That's like having hemorrhoids and calling it a "dental issue."
little_one 20
If he had IBS do you think he'd text a girl he probably likes saying oh my god I've got the worst case of the *****! Tummy troubles sounds less gross and implies he might be in there for a while.
Ashley0911 8
Offer to take him out again and hope for the best next time!
Tiny_Alyc 13
And let hem pay the bill and the next time after that split the bill.. Just to be even.. But before going out, OP can ask "How's your stomach?" :D
laurbear12 3
And the bill just magically paid itself?
laurbear12 3
Darn I meant to reply to #11...ignore!
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
That comment doesn't really make sense in reply to 11 either...
ryukk_fml 3
maybe they meant 12. it makes sense with that one.
Xythenol 6
Not really. I'm pretty sure her date would've replied that he was still in the bathroom.
subwaysurfers 13
'I paid and left,' said the OP.
subwaysurfers 13
Wooow, I love how 34 was trying to reply to 11 and I was trying to reply to her...my bad.
luckyd880 12
Aw. Give him another shot op! Not his fault. His body failed him. Haha.
downtime 13
If you have "stomach issues" from something you ate, that's the opposite of your body failing you.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
Who said the issues were caused by something he ate? It could be that he has a nervous stomach and was really worried about trying to impress the OP, which resulted him him have stomach issues. It's always possible.
downtime 13
98, I came to this conclusion because it was after the meal. Most people will have moved past that by this point, though I suppose there may exist some weird people whose nerves get worse as the night progresses.
Enslaved 38
What did he expect you to think/do if he was gone for 25 plus minutes? That's a long time to not find a way to give you a heads up that he's not feeling well.
perdix 31
You mean something like, "Hello, date. Sorry I've taken so long, but I've taken a massive dump and clogged the toilet here. The plunger's not working and we're waiting for the Jaws of Life. Soooooo, wanna see a movie or head back to your place for sexy time?" That would have be the polite thing to do.
Pandacupcakelove 26
49- there are other ways to explain, like simply saying "Hello, sorry I'm taking so long I'm not feeling well." It will be awkward either way, but you can make it less awkward...
Enslaved 38
You paint such a colorful picture :P butt yes! And a good ass washing before the "sexy time" will be in order! (:
perdix 31
#50, sure, it could be worded a little differently, just as long as it conveyed his inquiry about sex later in the evening. The worst thing you can do is to make your date feel unattractive.
cantthinkofshit 5
I call it sexy time too... Are you me.. In the future..?