Today, I went to bring my 92-year-old neighbor some cake we had just made. When I walked in, she was wearing pants. That's it. I stared blinking in shock for a few seconds before running away, yelling, "So sorry. I brought you cake. Real tired. Gonna sleep now. Bye." FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I lazily answered the door in my pajamas. It was my elderly neighbor asking to borrow a can opener. Despite the strange and unwarranted scowl she was giving me I obliged. It wasn't until after she had left that I notice my penis was completely sticking out through the flap in my pants. FML
Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML
Today, I spent two hours making a cake that I'd promised my class for weeks. I boarded the train to school, but soon dozed off. A few minutes later, I awoke with a start and noticed a chunk of the cake missing and a homeless man next to me with frosting around his mouth. FML
Today, at work, I walked in on a disoriented elderly woman eating nachos and cheese off the bathroom floor. She wasn't wearing any pants. FML
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday. To surprise her, I told her that I was going away on business, and could not be there on her birthday. When I show up at her house to surprise her with a present and cake, she opens the door in her underwear, beside a man in his boxers. She was surprised. FML
Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML
Today, I was helping my elderly landlady (75 years old) carry in her groceries. She said "Thanks" and then handed me a notice of eviction. FML
Today, I showed up to my friend’s birthday party with a huge cake... on what turned out to be the wrong day. The actual party is tomorrow. Her family laughed and thought if was cute, but I just wanted the floor to open up and let me disappear. FML
Today, my family gathered at my 96 year old great-grandmother's surprise birthday party that was my idea. When she walked in, we surprised her so much that she literally had a heart attack. She is now in the hospital. FML
Today, I drove over an hour to my grandma's house for her birthday party. When she answered the door, her eyes went wide and she said angrily "No, not you!" and slammed the door shut in my face. FML
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Top comments
majesticous 29
You didn't knock?
legendairy3000 16
I see therapy in your future OP.
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Comments (68)
trellz17 19
How did you get in?
wtffml1979 22
Through the door hahaha. Does it matter? I mean that's not the big picture here. More than likely they have a close relationship. Lil to close...
nekminnet 13
A good bleach eyewash should fix that right up.
Hurley_fml 21
Did you even knock?
cari_cat 19
Do you even lift?
Exaspera 55
Did she know you were coming? Sometimes folks do take off lots of clothing to change when they're not expecting company.
starile 20
Do your boobs hang low? Do they wobble to and fro? Can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow? Can you throw them over your shoulder, like a Continental soldier? Do your boobs. Hang. Low?
nonsensical 26
I WAS GOING TO SAY THISSSS but you beat me to it. I'll just sing along with you now, song is gonna be stuck in my head all day.
ughvictoriaxd 12
??? first time I've heard of this... Stuck in my head now
nonsensical 26
how can it be stuck in your head if you've never heard the song?
shemademedoit 20
well its her house. don't know if she barged in or if the granny just came out like that :0. she must of been in girls gone wild when she was young
gintwinsmoore 20
This would've been funnier if OP had discovered that her neighbor had an upper body like a 20 yr old...lol!
gintwinsmoore 20
I do recall a friend of mine who went to my church when he was in his mid 60s and I was going to his home for something and when I got there, he was parading around the house butt-ass naked with window shades up like I wasn't supposed to come over later. lol SO, that's what old folks do sometimes, or all the time, I don't know. But I can't wait to get to the "I don't care what you think or say about me" stage in my life. lol I'm 3/4 of the way there already. LOL!
DBKT 25
I'm thinking you were meant to see...
Pokefinch27 17
i think it's time to move
peacheso 31
Lesbihonest #8, have you?