Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
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Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
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Top comments
djaeb2001 3
u must be hot!!!!!
cookiesofchaos 0
pics or... nevermind.
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Comments (336)
Spastastic 6
Aren't you not supposed to just walk straight up to gorillas? There's a certain etiquette... I remember as a kid when I went to the zoo and saw the gorillas, one of the workers there taught me how to approach the cage -- you back up and sit with your back to the glass, and then they'll possibly approach you.
theprey 0
its a complement.
boopityboppity 11
I certainly hope not. That would mean it would have to complement a different occasion, and this one incident is bad enough. Take it as a *compliment* that this little story is all I gave you.
mad2physicist 0
This happened to my wife last year, except with some other non-human primate at the zoo. Spastastic, she clearly can walk up to that gorilla whenever she wants!
hbacostfu13 0
but in soviet russia, gorrila jacks YOU
hottie2hottie 0
haha
Bubbles1on1 0
atop flirtiq with him than
tenaka_fml 0
165 - Seriously? Would you like a diagram?
bean_dip21 0
haha he liked you :3
WickedWendigoX 0
whaat the **** xD how can gorillas do that 8D you must be hot :)
karieviola 0
it would've been really bad if you had gotten strangely aroused and then did the same.
karieviola 0
talk about primal urges! remember, there's no touching of the animals.