Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went to a zoo that had a gorilla in a cage. I walked up, and the gorilla stopped what he was doing, looked me in the eyes, and started jacking off. FML
Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML
Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML
Today, I went to park with a guy I've been infatuated for a long time. We got into his car and found a lovely lonely spot. Then he started talking about kinks, and I noticed that he had a gorilla suit in the back. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend humping my stuffed rabbit. I thought he was trying to be funny until I saw that he had an erection. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML
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Top comments
djaeb2001 3
u must be hot!!!!!
cookiesofchaos 0
pics or... nevermind.
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Comments (336)
boothaang 0
wow that's pretty messed up but I don't think it's an FML.
joe2potter 0
heh, you must be really hairy!
superbadd 0
that's so cute:) lol jk
mjoep1996 4
haha
ltsmark 0
Noice.
TwoStrikeBadAss 0
LMFAO FAVORITE.. You'd better hope that glas doesn't brake! LMFAO OMG like the funniest ******* FML EVER oh man wait til I tell ma friends about this one LMFAO
boopityboppity 11
Yeah, who knows what'll happen if the Gay and Lesbian Arabic Society screeches to a halt?
dragonh4t 6
... don't even know what to say
briannacyrus 0
Well if he made eye contact, then that's an upside. Plus, you must be a looker if got it up that fast. I don't see the issue here, other than the fact that he is not the same species as you.
DAN7IEL 2
not an fml cause he thinks ur sexy
lovebug1092 0
bahaha!!! funny!!