Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and...

By Sovekipisse - France - Arthon-en-retz

Today, I went to a bar for some drinks. A guy looked me up and down, gave me a suggestive smile, then asked for my name and number. I'd have been a little less creeped out if he hadn't been standing beside me at the urinal the whole time. FML

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Love

On yer bike

So you had a bad day…

The sweet smell of success

By anonymous - Korea Republic of

Today, I met a hot guy at the club. We danced and had a really good time, so I invited him home with me for the night. The next morning, I awoke to the sound of what I thought to be running water. I looked up to find him, naked and pissing into my air conditioner unit. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I went through my purse to see where my keys were. I found my house keys, but not my car keys, so I freaked out. When I remembered that I was driving, I felt stupid. FML

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By Becky - United Kingdom - Dorchester

Today, I stood up in front of the class and dropped my pen. As I bent over to pick it up, a boy in the front row loudly broke wind. I will forever be known as "that teacher who farted". FML

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By shelookslikemiley - Australia

Today, I can't go on watching season 8 of The Big Bang Theory, not because of the steady decline of the show's quality, but because I can't stand Penny's new haircut. FML

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By notmine - India - New Delhi

Today, I work at a food joint as a chef, and a customer found a long strand of hair in her food. The manager blamed me, even though I'm bald. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Camberwell

Today, the framed memorabilia that I spent $195 on last week came crashing to the floor. It was on my wall for less than 2 hours. The picture is torn and the glass is shattered, but at least the frame is alright. FML

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By AloneAtPerkins - 18/11/2020 13:02 - United States - West Bend

Tree trunks

Today, I shaved my legs. It's been so long since I've shaved that my razor broke. FML

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By WayTooMuchFacebook - United States

Today, I read some funny scribblings on a wall in the bathroom stall. My first instinct was to "Like" it. FML

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By childhoodupinsmoke - United States - Austin

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

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By blackberrybummer - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided he would do his job while I did my "job" on top of him. He whips out his Blackberry and completely ignores me to send e-mails to co-workers reminding them about the 10 a.m. meeting scheduled for the next morning. FML

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By Fire_Princess16

Today, my boyfriend managed to convince me that Australia was called a penal colony because all the prisoners were men. FML

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By ruinedmoment - United States

Today, I was looking at an old post between my ex and I on Facebook. Everything I was reading was adorable. Just as I was reminiscing about the great relationship we had, I look to the right of the screen to see the girl he cheated on me with in "People you may know". Thanks Facebook. FML

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By Trouble

Today, at work, I was informed that my manager told the owner, "Everything wrong with my department" is me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Hurricane

Today, at work, I wanted to scare my best friend, who is also my coworker. Thinking that he was cleaning the women's bathroom, I snuck in and right when I was about to scare him, my store director came out of the stall. FML

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By thegreatcometofawayhamilton

Today, I twisted my ankle and fractured my wrist while dancing. I audition for a performing arts school in one week. FML

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By God the smell

Today, my husband had a bad stomach bug and fever. While I was at work, he had diarrhoea but couldn't make it to the toilet so he went in the bin next to his desk, crawled back into bed, and passed out. It sat there in this heatwave for 5 hours. FML

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By calvinjakobs

Same name but distant

Today, I met the most compatible and perfect girl for me. After days of talking and finally setting up a date. We found out that we both live in different continents, just our city name has been the same. I was waiting at the restaurant for 5 hours. FML

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By gtfb1993 - Canada

Today, I was at the laundromat, when an attractive girl set up at the machine next to mine. She looked me up and down, then noticed the skid-marks on my underwear. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter decided to drench our carpets with water, to "make them grow like plants". She's 9. FML

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By mean mommy

Today, I was hosting a slumber party for my daughter, but I ended it abruptly and demanded that every child be picked up. Several pissed off parents and a sobbing daughter later, I’m the most hated. I made them leave after 2 of the girls bragged about losing their virginity. They’re 12. FML

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By anon - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And i was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, my boss came over to my desk and struck up a casual conversation about movies. After a while, he sat on the edge of my desk, nodded toward my chest, and said in the same casual, lighthearted tone, "And nice cleavage today. Keep that up." FML

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By PlayboyBunny - United States

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

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By Quortney - United States

Today, I was working at the local grocery store and a customer of mine, who had only bought two granola bars and was holding up my line, tried to convert me to Christianity. Out of all the people to target, she chose the shy atheist who just wanted to do her minimum wage job in peace. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Marinette

Today, my mom and I somehow got into a serious argument over the ethics of capturing and training Pokémon. FML

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By anonymous - United States - Knoxville

Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding. FML

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By Hello my name is - United Kingdom

Today, I went round to my Grandparents' to help set up their new Satellite TV. When I turned it on, for some reason it defaulted to "Arab Babes TV". I was therefore inadvertently responsible for the broadcast of porn in my Grandparents' living room. FML

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By Anonymous - Spain - Tordesillas

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

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By Geckosrock99

Today, my iguana tried to eat my hand. Taking that as a sign of being hungry, I gave him a bowl of fruits and veggies. After he finished the bowl, he tried to eat my hand again. My iguana's an asshole. FML

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By BlueSteele220 - 29/7/2020 17:01

Too late

Today, someone stole a package off my doorstep. Too bad, it was the video doorbell to prevent my packages from being stolen. FML

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By notgay - United States - Alfred

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

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By justsomesummer - United States - Beaverton

Today, I got a new babysitting job. Every time the little girl goes to the bathroom, she screams and cries until I wipe her. She's 7 years old. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, I was driving when a woman started crossing the street against the light at the upcoming intersection, so I slammed on the brakes and stopped short of hitting her. That's when she intentionally jumped onto my car and started screaming that I had "mowed her down". The cops believed her. FML

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By toolateabuckshort

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By -.- - United States - Ellwood City

Today, my mother told me how long it took for her to have me. Not how long she carried me in her womb - how long it took her and my dad to have sex. FML

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By Anonymous - Australia - Perth

Today, I thought it'd be funny to sneak up behind my dad and yell "BOO!" to scare him. He didn't even flinch. All he did was calmly look over his shoulder and sigh, "Oh for fuck's sake. And you wonder why I don't love you." FML

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By TooFlamingHot - Australia - Ashfield

Today, I arrived at the kennels I work in to find the power disconnected and the water pump off. This meant I had to bucket water and carry it to keep over sixty assorted dogs and cats alive in temperatures over 90 degrees. The moment I finished, the power came back on. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Pennsville

Today, my parents refused to give my daughter her Christmas presents as an act of revenge against her father. FML

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By wtf - United States

Today, I stuffed my buttcrack with toilet paper right before my job interview because I tend to sweat there a lot and was wearing a white skirt. I went to the bathroom afterward to take it out but it wasn't there anymore. It could have only gone up two places. FML

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By cnkk07 - United States

Today, my dad used the stove to boil water. Unfortunately, he turned the wrong burner on, setting the smoke alarm off. What's worse was the smell of burning plastic that came from the coffeemaker being melted down. It's been over an hour, and my eyes still burn like hell when I walk into the kitchen. FML

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Top comments

By BeccaHugs | 17

#5536956 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:32

Maybe he has a thing for uranal . . . um er I mean urinals.

By thenamesbrooksy | 9

#5536942 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:29

Hey take it as a compliment.

COMMENTS

By thenamesbrooksy | 9

#5536942 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:29

Hey take it as a compliment.

Damian95 | 16

#5537000 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:50

Must be blessed.

Doritozilla | 20

#5537022 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:57

so...what's your number? ;)

golden_warrior | 23

#5537030 - Sunday 16 June 2013 6:00

24- 911, ask for, "the man"

SWhimsynBubbaS | 14

#5537033 - Sunday 16 June 2013 6:01

Blessed, and still a little creeped out. As I was reading, I can honestly say I did not expect OP to be a man. Or for this to happen period. So be proud of your looks OP! Even if they attract strange creepy men...

Iceman225 | 11

#5537057 - Sunday 16 June 2013 6:13

that is freaking creepy.

CocaColaPepsi | 13

#5537075 - Sunday 16 June 2013 6:31

Creepy but flattering! ;)

garrett1999o3 | 16

#5537189 - Sunday 16 June 2013 8:52

#30, Maybe OP just accidentally waltsed into a gay bar.

fluffycatsdad | 33

#5537411 - Sunday 16 June 2013 14:41

Or waltZed, even.

kaileylovesyew | 4

#5538283 - Monday 17 June 2013 3:31

Or maybe even waltzed!

By Dodopy | 14

#5536943 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:29

Well at least you have a gladder bladder

Pwn17 | 25

#5537013 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:54

Looks like urine a sticky situation.

margojill | 13

#5537118 - Sunday 16 June 2013 7:13

22 you need more likes.

feelingold | 18

#5537176 - Sunday 16 June 2013 8:36

if I read the urine/you're in pun ONE more time on FML...... It's definitely becoming the new "shitty situation"

Angel_Cacey | 7

#5537756 - Sunday 16 June 2013 20:06

He should have turned and peed on him lol

fizz113 | 11

#5537979 - Monday 17 June 2013 0:12

You seem pissed off...

Bcfrmkc816 | 17

#5538498 - Monday 17 June 2013 6:50

Yes he does that's a good oner his is to 22

Bcfrmkc816 | 17

#5538500 - Monday 17 June 2013 6:51

And offer to shake his hand and thank him

By drayloon | 50

#5536947 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:30

I guess he saw sumthin at the urinal he liked...

hurtandabused | 7

#5537498 - Sunday 16 June 2013 16:14

Look him back the same way but frown n say sorry but hell no

By kurodansei | 16

#5536955 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:32

Give ot to him. Tell him what he did later. could be funny later.

biggestfan23 | 11

#5536982 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:41

Maybe he's not even gay

kurodansei | 16

#5537071 - Sunday 16 June 2013 6:29

Thats what would make it funny.

By BeccaHugs | 17

#5536956 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:32

Maybe he has a thing for uranal . . . um er I mean urinals.

Zaros_fml | 24

#5719010 - Thursday 17 October 2013 0:27

I almost thumbed this down...then it dawned on me.

By cjgirl | 15

#5536962 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:34

I guess he liked what he saw... Take it as a compliment.

By Flowtastic | 16

#5536967 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:35

What type of bar was it? That's the major difference between a FYL and YDi

flashback.miss | 28

#5536970 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:36

A gay bar, perhaps?

Flowtastic | 16

#5536985 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:41

What song is that from? ;-)

cristy91 | 33

#5537191 - Sunday 16 June 2013 8:55

Maybe it's my prudent nature but I wouldn't want to be hit on while I'm taking a piss, even if the person is good looking. Pee time = me time

By LastFalseApology | 9

#5536971 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:36

fyl I hate when that happens

Bobskittens1 | 12

#5537651 - Sunday 16 June 2013 18:35

You act like it happens on a daily basis..

By DocBastard | 38

#5536976 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:38

He violated Men's Restroom Rules #1 AND #2!

1) No talking
2) No looking

Has no one ever taught him etiquette??

DDCA | 24

#5537070 - Sunday 16 June 2013 6:29

If you read between the lines, you'd realize those rules don't apply in the bar he was in.

FrankHotpants | 30

#5537100 - Sunday 16 June 2013 6:50

And probably #3, the one urinal space.

lolfood | 24

#5537134 - Sunday 16 June 2013 7:41

And, if possible, stay one urinal apart

By golden_warrior | 23

#5536978 - Sunday 16 June 2013 5:39

I guess he wants your family jewell