Miscellaneous: Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing...

By emileeisamazing - 03/07/2013 16:54 - United States - Coats

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion. Bored out of my mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to "Boring shit with almost dead people." I didn't know it'd rename it for everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 989

You deserved it 70 285

emileeisamazing tells us more.

emileeisamazing 12

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Thursday 4 July 2013 3:53

Love all the comments -- my family and I have very joking attitudes toward each other. I always call them "old names". They're not really old, none over 50 at least, and my siblings are both 10+ years older than me. (I'm sure you get the gist.) It was the "boring sh*t" they were offended by. Staring at a caged bear for half an hour isn't too much fun for me, but since then we did decide on zip lining now amongst other non-boring things. We did decide to keep the conversation named that if you were wondering :)

Miscellaneous

Good kid

Late term

The World won't Listen

By Anonymous - 20/04/2016 14:34 - United States - Baton Rouge

Today, after a fight, I caught my sister rubbing my toothbrush on the inside of our grimy toilet. This is why I have trust issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 061

You deserved it 1 538

By Anonymous - 24/06/2015 02:48 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, at my sister's wedding, she and I had a plan that she would purposely throw the bouquet to my girlfriend, then I would propose in front of everyone. When the bouquet landed in my girlfriend's lap, she screamed, "Ew, no way" and threw it to someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 186

You deserved it 3 675

So I got that goin' for me, which is nice...

By Notadrugdealer - 07/12/2017 15:00

Today, I was just browsing Facebook when my friend sent me a GoFundMe link. Someone wrote a page saying I killed myself and that we need money for funeral services. People are actually donating to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 519

You deserved it 338

By Anonymous - 14/04/2015 07:21 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 737

You deserved it 4 419

By Kelly - 02/04/2012 18:44 - United States - Roseville

Today, I found out that all the things I've lent to my best friend over the last few years that have never been returned were actually pawned off so she could pay her cable bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 804

You deserved it 3 314

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 07:28 - United States - Plainview

Today, while driving home from work, I saw my boyfriend mugging a woman on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 887

You deserved it 3 303

By Emily - 03/01/2013 06:42 - United States - Arlington

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 998

You deserved it 4 888

By gnafron - 31/12/2013 11:30 - France - Grenoble

Today, I went outside at 9am in my boxer shorts to get my mail in my garden. I'd put a shoe in the door to keep the door jammed open, but when I ran back, my dog had the shoe in his mouth and all the doors and windows were closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 885

You deserved it 14 932

By anonymous - 17/09/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 590

You deserved it 2 723

By Pierceew - 19/09/2009 05:22 - United States

Today, after making out with this guy, our tongue piercings got stuck together. After about five minutes of trying to unlock them, I accidentally vomited a little in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 541

You deserved it 37 740

By Anonymous - 31/05/2015 04:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 13 044

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 02:20 - United States

Today, I had to do something that many young technologically-savvy people fear. I had to get on my dad's Facebook for him to delete a rather scandalous photo of his genitals he accidentally uploaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 726

You deserved it 3 363

What's updog?

By bu09 - 07/03/2009 20:34 - United States

Today, all of my friends and teachers asked me what was wrong because I looked sad and tired. One kid even said that I looked like "an abused housewife the day after." I was fine. It was the first time I went to school without wearing any makeup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 320

You deserved it 9 653

Side effects

By Anonymous - 19/06/2021 18:59 - United Kingdom - Runcorn

Today, I sneezed so hard, I farted. During my vaccine appointment. I hate hayfever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 106

By JSF1234 - 11/05/2009 17:07 - United States

Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 025

You deserved it 3 515

By rbates - 25/07/2009 18:32 - United States

Today, I decided to make a place in my house for my friends to sign called “The Friend Wall." By sign I meant sign, not draw body parts. This afternoon I ate lunch next to a basketball-sized vagina and a monumentally large blue and purple penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 751

You deserved it 60 315

By Anonymous - 05/02/2010 06:25 - United States

Today, one of my friends pointed out I'm starting to get a mustache! - "You're finally a man!" To bad it's my 15th birthday, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 116

You deserved it 3 562

By boyfriendisatoss - 26/12/2009 07:22 - Australia

Today, I had two surprises for my boyfriend who was at work. One was a dessert and the other was sexy lingerie. He chose the dessert. Then told me I was an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 365

You deserved it 5 069

By anonymous - 30/06/2016 05:27 - United States - Forney

Today, I was started my week of camping alone in the woods. I took my shoes off to go to sleep, but I had to come out to get water. I stepped on a wasp, and while I was standing on one foot looking at the sting, I realized I was in an ant pile. I'm allergic to both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 156

You deserved it 2 413

By post it - 31/03/2015 03:27 - Australia - South Yarra

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 213

You deserved it 13 058

By Anonymous - 06/06/2019 14:00

Today, my ex said I had a lot in common with his new girlfriend. His new, grossly overweight, college drop-out, clinically depressed, constantly pot-smoking girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 360

By WritesTooWell - 05/09/2013 23:27 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a message from my teacher about my homework. We were supposed to write an original myth explaining a natural event. My teacher bumped my grade for it down to a C for copying a myth that already exists. My myth was based on an original story I've been writing for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 420

You deserved it 3 644

By Rachel - 23/10/2014 04:04 - United States - Waynesburg

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 889

You deserved it 11 716

By wdones97 - 08/10/2018 14:00

Today, at my job, I was so tired and aggravated that I accidentally mumbled, "I need a drink." One of the patients I was taking care of heard me and said, "Me too." I work at an addiction rehab facility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 867

You deserved it 2 799

By . - 27/02/2012 00:02 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my husband. We thought the house was empty so we didn't mind being loud. Apparently, my grandma thought it would be fun to give us a surprise visit. All I found was a note on the counter from her and the spare key saying "Next time, I'll call." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 497

You deserved it 4 564

By Anonymous - 17/04/2013 23:01 - United States - Bristol

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 141

You deserved it 5 151

By Anonymous - 08/09/2011 19:51 - United States

Today, I went to my favorite drive-in burger joint for dinner. As I was nearing the end of my burger, I grabbed a cup from the cup holder that I thought was filled with soda. Instead, I got a mouthful of dip spit that a friend left in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 327

You deserved it 7 979

It wasn't me

By not mine! - 16/06/2020 05:07

Today, I had to make the heartbreaking decision to break up with my boyfriend and kick him out after his second relapse. A few hours later, I had police banging down my door. To get back at me, my now ex had called the cops and anonymously reported all the drugs he’d hidden around my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 187

Party time!

By haileypaige123 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 970

You deserved it 7 129

By hey-o - 23/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to the hair salon to cut 6 in. off my hair. When I got there I decided to get my upper lip waxed for the first time. When my boyfriend came to pick me up for our date I asked if he noticed anything different about me, the first thing he said was "I see you got rid of you mustache." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 164

You deserved it 10 781

Market crash

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 20:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, my son took some of my underwear to school. What's worse is he sold it to his classmate for $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 713

You deserved it 139

The truth will out

By Anonymous - 10/06/2021 02:01

Today, after lying to my kid so she doesn’t learn how little her dad cares about her, my current husband, who didn’t know I was doing this, told her everything, such as how the last two times her dad flaked on picking her up was because he was in Vegas gambling, or in jail for hiring hookers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 476

By for fuck sake dad - 02/11/2012 23:50 - Ireland - Limerick

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 877

You deserved it 3 441

By DrLight - 17/01/2015 01:59 - United States - Raleigh

Today, a kid looked at me, screamed, then ran away yelling "Chewbacca!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 3 738

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 05:17 - United States - Lake Forest

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 245

You deserved it 3 904

By anonymous - 17/03/2015 05:09 - United States - Spokane

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 982

You deserved it 4 068

By Scabby - 11/04/2012 09:53 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend pulling off scabs and eating them. My scabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 406

You deserved it 3 621

By monkeywrench - 30/08/2015 11:29 - Sweden

Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 900

You deserved it 1 768

By Sorry - 03/03/2010 16:22 - Canada

Today, trying to take initiative, I wore nothing but an apron and led my husband to the kitchen by his knob to have some fun. I tripped on the floor and used his knob to keep balance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 714

You deserved it 7 779

By balls - 02/10/2015 05:49 - United States - Santa Clara

Today, the only reason I took a shower was because I could smell my dick sweat while still wearing underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 487

You deserved it 29 893

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Top comments

Wizardo 33

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:37

"Unfortunate shit with a soon to be dead OP"

emeraldisle 30

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:40

You definitely deserve it. That's such a terrible thing to say about your relatives, even if you thought they couldn't see it.

Wizardo 33

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:37

"Unfortunate shit with a soon to be dead OP"

Damian95 16

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:08

Bein a total asshole doesn't always pay off?! Who wouldve guessed?

piedpiper303 29

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Thursday 4 July 2013 1:04

@42 One of the relatives renames the conversation "Unappreciative relative fuck that we all hate, but seem to still tolerate"

xBethanyC 15

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Thursday 4 July 2013 2:45

op should have said "Oops! I was trying to message a friend about our last history paper. sorry for the confusion"

alxpilk 8

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Thursday 4 July 2013 4:34

Do they know OP changed it? If not just act oblivious

XxDevilxXGt 26

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Thursday 4 July 2013 6:51

I think people kind of forget that this situation isn't different from what goes on in most of your minds at least a few times in your life. You have to be the most innocent person ever to have never thought in your head "[insert negative offensive comment]" about your surrounding people or conversations. I think OP deserves it for not taking precautions before typing something he could regret in a place he thought no one would see but was wrong, but not for being an asshole in his mind, which he screwed up and let others see into.

enabray138 5

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:38

That pretty harsh

fuckedPriceless 17

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:28

Somebody needs to learn Skype :)

KendraLaine 18

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:39

Only logical explanation...blame autocorrect!

darwinism 30

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:57

Yes, OP was trying to write "Brilliant trip with absolutely darling people", right? They should just leave it at that before it gets worse. Who falls for "autocorrect" anymore anyway?

SpartanCEL 6

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:59

*Anyone, oh the irony

dweeds508 24

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:21

I don't think anyone is that stupid to believe it was autocorrect

Iamevil123 16

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:36

That kind of stuff doesn't happen in real life!

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 23:40

Only logical explanation... She was using sarcasm!

emeraldisle 30

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:40

You definitely deserve it. That's such a terrible thing to say about your relatives, even if you thought they couldn't see it.

Iceman225 11

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Thursday 4 July 2013 6:14

YDI for being so disrespectful to people who are almost going away....

KeXu 6

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Thursday 4 July 2013 16:13

Agreed. How can someone not care about losing someone forever...permanently.

rob02 19

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:40

Damn dude, that's low

fmhall 3

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Saturday 6 July 2013 15:32

Black ops 2? Psn: GMO279

flashback.miss 28

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:40

YDI. Appreciate your family while you can still enjoy their company.

KiddoKS 19

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Wednesday 3 July 2013 22:52

I agree. If the reunion or the planning are "boring" then take some initiative and come up with some new ideas. You can plan some fun activities and still enjoy everyone's company.