By van no gough - United States - Springfield Today, I went out with two friends for lunch. The van we took ran out of fuel, so we pushed it to a nearby gas station, a gas station suffering from a gas shortage. FML I agree, your life sucks 30320 You deserved it 3873 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, one of my closest friends and I got into a fight. She ends the conversation with "My grandma just had a stroke. Bye." I didn't believe her so I replied "Thats great. Bye." Turns out her Grandma is in the hospital in critical condition. FML I agree, your life sucks 10600 You deserved it 57343 33 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dang-ItsDanielle - United States Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML I agree, your life sucks 62239 You deserved it 19346 101 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tagteam - United States - Worcester Today, after backpacking acrossing Europe for a month, I picked up my dog from the doghouse. No one will listen to me or acknowledge the fact that he's now missing two toes. FML I agree, your life sucks 38366 You deserved it 2748 151 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By thebigguy Today, as it's been a long time since I've been with a woman, I decided to enlist the services of an escort. Upon my arrival, she looked at me and said, "Honey, we are going to need a bottle of whiskey and an extra $100." FML I agree, your life sucks 5667 You deserved it 1254 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By MyLyfeSux - United States Today, I went to the restroom at school and when I finished my business, I noticed there was no toilet paper. I then began to wait hoping that a janitor would come by with extra toilet paper. It wasn't until an hour later that I then realized there was 4 extra rolls hidden behind the toilet. FML I agree, your life sucks 10892 You deserved it 53811 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By teinage - Belgium Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML I agree, your life sucks 37686 You deserved it 3092 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By FathersDay - United States Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML I agree, your life sucks 41352 You deserved it 20958 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AllergyRidden - United States Today, my Mom and I found out that we're allergic to the wood my Dad has been making fires with. She can't see, I can't breathe. FML I agree, your life sucks 29563 You deserved it 2287 130 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sophie - United States Today, my teacher told me I wasn't pretty enough to play the princess part in the play. FML I agree, your life sucks 45687 You deserved it 5741 210 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML I agree, your life sucks 26321 You deserved it 12814 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By merkris - United States Today, I was at the mall with my boyfriend and 2 friends. My uncle passed by me in the mall. He said "What are you baby-sitting or something?" He pointed to the merry-go-round. My boyfriend was sitting on the giraffe yelling at the top of his lungs. FML I agree, your life sucks 51160 You deserved it 12686 188 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Salzburg Today, my sister and I got a room in the attic of an old hotel, while our parents got a room several floors down. We discovered the room was full of bugs. Our parents didn't believe us, so we brought them some as proof. They told us to get over it. We can't sleep. We've killed 50 and counting. FML I agree, your life sucks 1953 You deserved it 118 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kali Say it ain't so, please Today, I went to go meet my boyfriend at a restaurant to tell him it just wasn't working out. Before I could do so, he proposed. I had to tell him no, so he started to cry and ran out. Everyone looked at me like some kind of monster. FML I agree, your life sucks 1830 You deserved it 375 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GGimabeast - United States Cool story, tell it again Today, I celebrated my birthday. My mom invited a bunch of my relatives over, and they started telling funny stories of when I was a kid. My mom decided that then was an appropriate time to talk about how she caught me looking at porn the other night. FML I agree, your life sucks 34208 You deserved it 12360 158 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 9/5/2020 20:00 Tinfoil hat wearers are everywhere Today, I overheard my mom on the phone ranting about how China "engineered and released" the coronavirus and the giant hornets in an attempt to take over the world. Only one more month of quarantine left. FML I agree, your life sucks 1410 You deserved it 237 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By alicia - Canada - Montreal Wanker Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML I agree, your life sucks 46133 You deserved it 11932 139 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hubby - United States Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML I agree, your life sucks 61483 You deserved it 5767 145 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By epistaxis - Australia Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML I agree, your life sucks 43256 You deserved it 2623 44 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By butisavedyourkid - United States Today, I rescued a little boy who looked like he was drowning in a public pool. His mother then smacked me in the face for "touching him". FML I agree, your life sucks 53153 You deserved it 3518 85 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By seablue - United States Today, I wrote a poem for this guy I am falling for. Before telling him that I wrote it, he read it and then laughed at how "corny and stupid" it was because he would "never date someone who could come up with something that lame." The poem was about how vulnerable he makes me feel. FML I agree, your life sucks 54221 You deserved it 16468 221 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 5/9/2020 02:02 Denied Today, my wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said sex. She told me to grow up and ask for something more realistic. FML I agree, your life sucks 1703 You deserved it 322 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By SnowyConcussion - United States Today, after spending the past 4 days asking both my husband and my father-in-law to salt our sidewalk, I slipped on the ice. I hit my head on our concrete stairs. While holding ice on my head, my father-in-law pats my head and says "I'll go get some salt." FML I agree, your life sucks 27824 You deserved it 8996 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Seattle Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML I agree, your life sucks 39802 You deserved it 3471 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Rachael - United Kingdom - Northampton Today, I wondered why the cashiers at my local chip shop were being so unusually friendly and knocked money off my bill. Then when I got back to my boyfriend's house, I noticed my bright red bra shining through my black top like a light. I debuted my tits for some chips. FML I agree, your life sucks 1308 You deserved it 472 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Wexford Today, my aunt informed me that my dad thinks my boyfriend is a loser deadbeat because he hasn't proposed to me after two years of dating and co-habitation. He hasn't asked because I already made it very clear I have no interest in marriage. FML I agree, your life sucks 21263 You deserved it 4825 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tampa Peek a boo Today, my husband and I put our children to bed a little earlier than usual, so we could have some sexy time. Immediately following my full-blown orgasm, I rolled over, only to see my wide-eyed son peeking over the top of the mattress. FML I agree, your life sucks 68816 You deserved it 16081 183 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jcheer113 - United States Today, while I was driving, I saw my driving instructor from high school walking on the sidewalk. As I waved to him, I rear-ended the car in front of me. Guess I really showed him how much I learned from him. FML I agree, your life sucks 8901 You deserved it 31637 39 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was at work serving customers at the checkout. A girl was brushing the floor behind me. I turned around and whichever way she brushed, the brush hit me twice straight in the balls before she noticed anything. She had to serve the rest of the customers while I recovered. FML I agree, your life sucks 1362 You deserved it 143 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Blanerd - United States Today, I was in a work meeting because our clientele is unhappy with our service. I was in there because I don't correct our customers when they get my name wrong. My name is Blane, but "Blair", "Blake", "Lane", and "Glenn" got rave reviews. No one picked up on this. I hate my job. FML I agree, your life sucks 29142 You deserved it 4275 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By maystar That's worth $0.30 at GameStop! Today, it's my birthday. My mom and three other relatives each bought me a copy of Diablo 3 for my birthday. A video game that I didn't ask for, for a console I don't have. FML I agree, your life sucks 3773 You deserved it 290 20 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By arctic1 - United States Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML I agree, your life sucks 20261 You deserved it 68406 142 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I found out that, while not exactly probable, it is definitely possible to squirt yourself in the eye with breast milk. It burns. FML I agree, your life sucks 3115 You deserved it 477 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By NinjaWafflesx - United States Today, my mother hacked my Facebook and broke up with my boyfriend and pretended to be me. She told him if he ever talks to me again, she'll call the cops. FML I agree, your life sucks 40658 You deserved it 3941 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Ireland Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 30855 You deserved it 20616 173 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By redcherries90 - United States Today, I slipped on the new snow and sprained my ankle. As my mom and I were leaving the emergency room, she says, "You owe me $4 for parking," and she meant it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31602 You deserved it 3980 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Chatswood Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML I agree, your life sucks 31937 You deserved it 6222 132 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Bad Dad - United States - Colorado Springs Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML I agree, your life sucks 36249 You deserved it 4893 99 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouchhhh Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. 5 seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML I agree, your life sucks 4345 You deserved it 577 36 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ShampooThief - United States Today, my family checked into a hotel for spring break. The first thing my brother did was steal all the bars of soap and bottles of shampoo. He's now guarding them, and hissing at anyone that tries to take them. I just want to take a shower. FML I agree, your life sucks 30577 You deserved it 2995 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mareecasellafml - Australia - Belrose Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML I agree, your life sucks 32265 You deserved it 4206 88 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By giantsfan2010 | 23 #6240034 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:10 If you call a tow truck, they usually have extra gas with them in case of emergency. Send a private message 131 1 Reply
By feven | 32 #6240041 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:14 Time to call the tow truck Send a private message 67 0 Reply
By wildgenius | 13 #6240027 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:08 Well if all else fails, you can use water or apple juice. Send a private message 7 50 Reply
Reply 1PersonIsMyWorld | 22 #6240061 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:24 Uh if you wanna fuck up your engine.. sure. how do I know this and you dont? I am car dumb!!! op.. clever name though. Send a private message 3 27 Reply
Reply natashamilan | 13 #6240074 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:37 That's SUCH a good idea. Send a private message 13 2 Reply
Reply False_Stupidity | 41 #6240345 - Sunday 22 March 2015 21:22 Whatever gave you the idea that using water or apple juice(mostly water) in an internal "combustion" engine was ever going to be a good idea? SMH Send a private message 1 7 Reply
Reply ExtremeEncounter | 32 #6240940 - Monday 23 March 2015 12:08 I think people take what people say on this site WAY too literally. Send a private message 5 0 Reply
Reply incoherentrmblr | 21 #6241815 - Tuesday 24 March 2015 5:23 Like this if you think the title of the FML was nice!... Send a private message 0 0 Reply
By hacksaw246 | 24 #6240028 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:09 You must be pretty gassed after this expedition. Send a private message 2 5 Reply
Reply AddictGamer | 16 #6240087 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:46 I did nazi that one coming. Send a private message 5 0 Reply
By giantsfan2010 | 23 #6240034 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:10 If you call a tow truck, they usually have extra gas with them in case of emergency. Send a private message 131 1 Reply
By iSativa | 24 #6240036 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:11 Moments like these make great "remember when.." stories at social gatherings. Send a private message 46 2 Reply
By FMyLyricalAnus | 11 #6240037 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:11 Yea, it must be pretty tiring. If you haven't eaten you probably need more fuel before you can move it again. Send a private message 2 22 Reply
By WCARlover | 34 #6240038 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:11 If this is a YDI or not really depends on how low whoever used it last left it Send a private message 2 23 Reply
Reply Tthug | 34 #6240049 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:18 No. It really is just a failure to check the gas gauge. It sucks yes, but it's also completely preventable. Send a private message 19 0 Reply
Reply taybear0 | 14 #6240052 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:18 OP cant do anything about how low her friends let their gas take get, its not her job to monitor the fuel gauge Send a private message 15 3 Reply
By feven | 32 #6240041 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:14 Time to call the tow truck Send a private message 67 0 Reply
By Dodge4x4Ram | 46 #6240048 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:17 state farm Send a private message 0 6 Reply
By fmlsams | 27 #6240053 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:18 Blues Brothers, anyone? Send a private message 6 1 Reply
By hannah_cheers | 30 #6240069 - Sunday 22 March 2015 16:32 Clever username xD Send a private message 14 3 Reply
Today, I had to resort to telling my boyfriend that I have a praise kink, just so that he would actually compliment me. FML I agree, your life sucks 622 You deserved it 182 2 Comments
Today, I had a huge argument with my wife because I declined a lunch invite with a married couple who live nearby. My wife has severe social anxiety, so... I agree, your life sucks 1100 You deserved it 169 11 Comments