Transportation: Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow... - FML

Nearly

28/09/2021 01:05

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 3

27/09/2021 06:27

Today, I have to get up and go to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 100

Spicy

Spicy

Unfriended

By thethrowawayplace - 15/10/2021 17:00

Spicy

Today, my friend was watching a black guy getting yelled at by the cops on TV. He then decided to yell, "Wow, ni***** really don't know how to behave!" When I didn't react, he yelled it over and over, until I slunk into my room. He knows I'm part black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 103

Grind mindset

By MyStomachHurts - 15/10/2021 05:00

Spicy

Today, my boss wrote me up for taking too many bathroom breaks. I tried calling in sick with a bad case of indigestion, but he told me to just power through it because, "it can't possibly be that bad." I have been in severe, persistent discomfort the whole damn day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 40

26/07/2011 02:03

Today, I ran out of gas while driving, and had to call a tow truck. I drive a tow truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 379

You deserved it 30 141

And today, on Dr Phil…

Good kid

Age difference

30/07/2015 21:50

Today, I learned companies can legally lie to fire an employee, and unless anything they say is on record, they are legally correct, no matter how unethical the company is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 990

You deserved it 1 804

Spotted

By sara - 24/07/2020 23:01

Today, I discovered my first wrinkle at the same time as my millionth zit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 139

26/01/2015 19:17

Today, after putting a bag of dirty laundry in the laundry room to wait for an open washer, I came back to find a "free stuff" sign on all of my expensive jeans, new towels, and favorite sweatshirts. The bag was over half empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 623

You deserved it 13 470

20/10/2012 07:06

Today, it was my first day in Paris. I've been saving up for five years. It was a rainy day, but I was determined to go see the Eiffel Tower. On my way, I fell down a slippery set of stairs and knocked both of my front teeth out. Now, I have the view of the Eiffel Tower from my hospital window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 309

You deserved it 3 244

16/02/2016 14:56

Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 835

You deserved it 1 715

26/03/2016 19:02

Today, I'm a barista at Starbucks. When my crush walked in and asked how much his coffee would cost, I said a date. He said he'd rather pay for the coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 025

You deserved it 6 058

30/01/2010 00:02

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 164

You deserved it 5 932

19/05/2011 17:38

Today, I woke up in a panic to what sounded like a plane about to crash into my house. I was so scared, I peed myself and passed out. It was just my cell phone vibrating under my pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 504

You deserved it 48 315

FML Uncensored

By Nightmares - 07/08/2012 02:00

Spicy

Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 471

You deserved it 8 220

16/02/2011 05:55

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 317

You deserved it 42 521

02/03/2010 21:16

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 201

You deserved it 2 668

13/01/2015 08:28

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 2 433

21/04/2014 04:03

Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 593

You deserved it 11 777

26/08/2015 12:31

Spicy

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years saying he only dates me because "sometimes jerking off just ain't good enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 450

You deserved it 2 358

04/08/2016 18:44

Today, after countless nights of no sleep and only some spontaneous naps, I was finally seeing a sleeping doctor to analyze the problem. I missed the appointment because I ended up sleeping through my alarm after not being able to sleep at all last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 318

You deserved it 1 150

16/02/2010 07:26

Today, I was docked and fined in my dorm building because of multiple noise complaints. What was I doing that was so noisy? I slipped in the shower and banged my head against the floor. Then when I reached for the towel rack to pull myself up, it broke and I slammed my wrist onto the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 071

You deserved it 2 746

10/01/2010 15:37

Today, I made a batch of "special" brownies for a party I was going to tonight. I wrapped them up and put them on the counter with a note that said DO NOT EAT. Later on I came home from some errands to find a tray of half eaten brownies and my ten year old sister passed out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 127

You deserved it 59 359

18/09/2016 17:10

Today, I was having dinner at my aunt's house who just migrated to Germany from India and doesn't know any German. I asked for the recipe of a dish and she said that she has been buying these cans with cute kitty picture and just adds spices to it. Catfood is delicious I must admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 240

You deserved it 976

04/03/2010 08:52

Today, I marched into my workplace yelling "take this job and shove it", under the impression I would be on a flight in a few days out of here. However, the airline has informed me I cannot fly until April because cargo is too cold for my dog this time of year. Jobless, four weeks to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 261

You deserved it 37 296

Ungrateful

By Anonymous - 04/03/2021 11:01

Today, my teenage daughter insisted it was my job to take down the tray full of empty dishes, because I was the one who had carried it upstairs. Sound logic, so far. Why had I carried the tray upstairs? To serve her breakfast in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 718

02/08/2009 01:29

Today, I planned a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend. I invited all his friend and made all his favorite food. He was running very late, so I called to ask what was taking so long. His response? He said he was at his house, with the very friends I was standing next to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 656

You deserved it 4 066

20/12/2012 19:50

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 935

You deserved it 9 646

03/09/2014 02:41

Today, while undergoing the cumbersome task of screwing the tiny silver ball onto my lip piercing, I clumsily dropped it onto the counter and watched it bounce into the trash can, where it nestled snugly into a used maxi pad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 729

You deserved it 14 710

22/12/2014 18:40

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 161

You deserved it 3 202

29/06/2009 05:41

Today, I finally got the courage to tell my parents that I'm gay. My mom said "Yeah, we know." When I asked how they knew, my dad, without looking up from the tv, said, "We've been monitoring your Internet history." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 482

You deserved it 17 024

14/05/2015 05:11

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 485

You deserved it 2 582

14/02/2019 15:00

Today, I was walking along a crowded pier when I stopped to read a sign next to an oddly placed bush. Not even two seconds later, a man popped out of the bush and made me wet myself. People were filming it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 5 418

01/11/2013 07:01

Spicy

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 245

You deserved it 7 083

15/11/2013 05:00

Today, I fell down in the street when a speeding car chucked a hard-boiled egg at my butt. While I waited for the feeling in my legs to return, they came back and threw more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 023

You deserved it 3 130

20/10/2010 03:05

Today, I got my lip pierced. By the orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 236

You deserved it 3 227

22/05/2010 02:41

Today, I fell asleep in class. If that wasn't bad enough, I awoke gasping for air. I almost drowned in my arm fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 097

You deserved it 41 650

14/11/2012 01:03

Today, I was looking at tattoos and fell in love with a really cool looking one, so I decided to get it. I later showed it to a friend who is a cop. He informed me that it is a gang tattoo. I think I just put a target on my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 960

You deserved it 31 292

15/01/2012 05:58

Today, my crush grabbed my butt while I was walking up the stairs. In surprise I farted. He won't even look me in the eyes now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 451

You deserved it 7 640

13/10/2015 01:53

Today, while I was in the bathroom my mom walked in and tried to have a conversation with me about my bowel movements. I'm 23, and this is a regular thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 042

You deserved it 2 867

24/06/2017 03:30

Today, it's my roommate's birthday. His friends were planning on a surprise birthday cake at midnight last night, and one of them told me about it, hoping to split the expense between us, which I was totally cool with. But I fell asleep before midnight and they didn't even bother to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 378

You deserved it 987

24/01/2009 18:56

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 782

You deserved it 29 713

28/06/2009 18:44

Today, I was riding my bike without the seat cover on. I hit a curb wrong and the two metal rods from the skeleton of the seat went through my jeans. I went to the med clinic to then find out that I had to get stitches in my scrotum. There were no male doctors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 383

You deserved it 49 653

31/01/2013 07:23

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 868

You deserved it 5 746

21/02/2009 07:34

Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 103

You deserved it 58 179

11/11/2012 18:50

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 877

You deserved it 6 277

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:17

A tow truck towing another tow truck? Towception

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:15

ironic, isnt it?

Comments

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:12

Hahah wow that is quite unfortunate.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:28

yes it is unfortunate... anything else that's obvious?

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:30

OP drives a tow truck

ZombieeeeUnicorn 1

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:32

bananas are yellow.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:37

My dick is tiny.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:39

yo pickles, take your name and shove it up your ass.

aprilmayjune93 0

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 10:04

how ironic

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 13:27

Win- tow truck towing a tow truck.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 14:31

yo iloveqts, take your head and shove it up your ass

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 16:17

Yo Dawg, I heard you like tow-trucks. So I put your tow-truck on a tow-truck, so you can tow while you tow.

Sunny_Eclipse 6

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 16:27

31- He said nothing. He only made the same face as Ash. (In my picture.)

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 17:47

towtruckception

liquidfireKAN 0

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:04

did you guys know that 90% of people use the word "ironic" and "irony" incorrectly?

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 22:04

Woah. It's a tow truck inside of a tow truck, it's like Inception 0.o

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 5:32

Oxymoron! hehe :P

a_nutritionist 10

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 9:32

@84 i think you mean: Yo Dawg, I heard you like tow-trucks. So I put your tow-truck on a tow-truck, so you can be towed by a tow-truck while you tow trucks.

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Friday 29 July 2011 20:14

Why call a tow truck? How about call a friend to bring a gas can? Or is that too easy?

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Monday 21 November 2011 11:42

Nice of u to tell everyone

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:12

fuck your life

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:45

I'm in.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:59

orgy.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 16:55

I dibs being on top!

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 19:21

Ass to mouth!

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 7:41

C-C-COMBO BREAKERR!!!

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:15

ironic, isnt it?

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 15:53

lol Bo Burnham said something like this in his sing ironic!

LaughterofCorn 4

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 20:16

quite ironic indeed.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:15

mmm let's see. you have a gas card. provided by the company. and yet your still to lazy to refill ur tank? YDI!

captainsuperdawg 0

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 11:20

wow, you must be kinda stupid. most places like that have contracts with certain companies, so if there wasn't necessarily a company friendly gas station around, then op would have to pay for the gas himself which would be a lot considering it's a tow truck and canada's gas prices are higher than the usa's

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 21:04

hey dumbass you don't always have a business card to fill up on! he could own his own towing & recovery business which requires 1 truck and yourself no body else! so fuck off before you say shut you don't know about

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:14

all 3 of you are unnecessarily butthurt

a_nutritionist 10

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 9:46

@55 the cost of putting a bit in the tank to get to another company friendly gas station vs the cost of having your truck towed... gas stations are not that hard to find when you know youre running low. this was just stupidity. any cost incurred for filling the tank would be less than the cost of the tow and lost business.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:17

that reminds me of starburst. because its like a condradiction.. (or however u spell it)

OuchAndGoodfight 5

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 6:41

Contradiction

Fx13mz 7

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:17

A tow truck towing another tow truck? Towception

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 4:39

Funny thing is, I BARELY saw the movie like three hours ago lol.

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Saturday 30 July 2011 22:44

funny thing is, I read this and that is exactly the first thought that came to mind. and I've never seen the movie. haha

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Monday 23 April 2012 22:56

I was gonna say that:(

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Thursday 18 December 2014 22:06

I wonder if there are mailman delivering each other's mail.

letsgoflyakite 2

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:18

I can just imagine the look on the person driving the other tow truck

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:22

a tow truck, towing a tow truck, thats already towing a tow truck? my head hurts >.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:25

wrong comment^^

Sunny_Eclipse 6

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 14:30

Must have been like Ash's expression right here.

hzlzkgzkgzchxuxh 3

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:21

I wander what would happen if that tow truck ran outta gas

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:27

a tow truck, towing a tow truck, thats already towing a tow truck? ny head hurts >.

a_nutritionist 10

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Wednesday 27 July 2011 9:57

the end of life as we know it.

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Sunday 25 November 2012 18:36

Double towception D:

doom2 8

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:21

well. I wouldn't really call this an fml.. more just a "whoops, I screwed up" kind of thing,

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:22

i dont see how this is a fml, so what if you run out of gas,it happens, and who cares a tow truck got towed.

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 9:24

just 2 tow trucks

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Tuesday 26 July 2011 12:40

no it would be 3, the first one that ran out of gas, then the one that came to tow the first one, then the third one