Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
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Top comments
Calivale 7
Aww your mom loves you, to the extent of ruining your social life.
niamah 11
Mom is lonely. Tell dad to start taking her out again
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Comments (247)
taytoc 10
HAND BLOCKED
xoxo_cherri_xoxo 6
At least make it rhyme... HAND BANNED!
leadman1989 16
Well when the vacuum falls on you she'll cut it to pieces.
FeelinFine 1
Lol, nice ref to the other FML.
Cleao18317 11
Embarrassing mom you got there
moviegirl6 5
If that was my mama I'd give her a slap.
oA_Fiasco 8
the op must be like 12 or something. that or your mums a freak
MissBunnyWillEat 11
How did my comment get shat out here? **** this. Thumb me down, stupid bastards! I'm ready! *gets out lightsaber*
omg112 0
You can still get pregnant if the guy pulls out, it's called pre-cum.
THE_A_TEEN 28
1) Get's AH-64D apache 2) Kill missbunnywilleat 3) ??? 4) PROFIT!!!!
fatrussian101 0
Oh daammmn...
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Your mom sucks.
McMike10 1
Sonalis 9
Next time she asks where you're going on the date, say somewhere different than where you're actually going. Assuming that is how she knew where you were. Your mom's kind of.....you know....psycho.
Enslaved 38
Mom must have planted a lo jack on the OP. (:
sarahlovesyewxD 8
Wow, your mom sucks. My mom came up to me and said that she didn't care if me and my boyfriend were holding hands at this concert we went to with my parents. Neither did my dad. You, my dear, have the best of overprotective parents . xD
shadevil75 6
How old are you and do you live at home. If you're over 20 and living with your parents then you deserve to be treated like a child.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Not really, maybe she's a psyco mommy...
a_nutritionist 10
@60 another idiotic westerner trying to push their culture on the rest of the world. singaporean families are closer than your stupid ways over there.
Jirekianu2 19
Because everyone can afford to move out. Go to school. Have a job in this job market capable of paying rent and school. :/
Jirekianu2 19
I'm a westerner and I disagree. Way to generalize, buddy.
ReynshineCutting 10
I'm American and that's total BS. Do you have any clue how hard it is to get a job, especially that pays well, then to get your own place while trying to go to school? Idiot.