Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
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Top comments
Calivale 7
Aww your mom loves you, to the extent of ruining your social life.
niamah 11
Mom is lonely. Tell dad to start taking her out again
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Comments (247)
heartbreakatdawn 0
How is it not the first time this has happened when this is your first date? Makes no sense.
Sirin_fml 47
It's her first date with the person she likes, not her first ever date with anyone, as someone already pointed out. The OP is from Singapore, so we can forgive their English.
TooOldForDiss 4
Holding hands is like a gateway drug. First you're holding hands, then a little cuddling, then you're shooting heroin between your toes because it's the only place you can find a vein that isn't used up. Is that really where you want your life to take you?
The_Great_Zucchi 15
I think your metaphors got messed up there #154. I'm pretty sure there's shooting involved in the last bit but it won't be drugs.
Ricky23J 0
lmao
horneyhic 15
Well might be a little Viagra
giraffemagic 0
Why do all the FMLs say "this isn't the first time this has happened"? Has anyone else noticed that?
dick_head 4
What a bitch.
klong91 7
Haha that's kind if funny but really if your over 16 you need to tell her to leave you alone.
crazy_whitechick 6
159- it was just her first date with this guy... But shes been on other dates before
uncookedyew 4
ydi you're probably too young.
FYLSLOWLY 0
Tell ur mom it's okay to cut the umbilical cord now
lolitroll_fml 0
Sounds like some one isnt getting a boyfriend for a long time
wickedevaa 4
Wow, your mom has the reflexes of a ninja!