Today, I went out with a guy I really liked for the first time. He tried to hold my hands, only to be stopped by my mum, jumping out from nowhere saying "Oh no you don't!" before slapping him. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML
Today, I was in the shops and the lights all of a sudden went out. I got really scared for no reason because it was pitch black and grabbed onto my mum's hand. When the light's got turned on I was holding on to a random guy's hand. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I met online. We hit it off, and he invited me back to his place. As soon as we got there, his mother came out of nowhere and started interrogating me about "my intentions." FML
Today, I took a girl I like to the movies. Everything went great until I went in to kiss her. She didn't object, but my mother, who apparently followed me to the theater and was now pulling me away by my shirt while saying, "We're leaving!" certainly did. FML
Today, whilst on a date I recieved my sixth missed call from my mother. I excused myself and went outside and called her, she and my father wanted to know why I was having dinner and holding hands with another man. It turns out they were also on a date. At the same place. FML
Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. I introduced myself and went to shake her hand. She looked me up and down and said, "I don't shake hands with whores." FML
Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML
Today, my girlfriend invited me over for the first time. I pulled up to her house just to be denied at the front door by her mum. She'd invited me over to break up with me, but had her mum do it for her. FML
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Top comments
Calivale 7
Aww your mom loves you, to the extent of ruining your social life.
niamah 11
Mom is lonely. Tell dad to start taking her out again
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Comments (247)
badactor009 0
First, insist she admits she was wrong and apologize to that boy. Lets see here... why might Mom get all worked up over the daughter holding hands with a boy? Survey says... because she is a gnarly old closet **** with many regrets. Still, she does not get a free pass to assault boys for holding your hand. She comes off like she is stopping a rape in progress. The fact is she is not doing you any favors. Think this is gonna get better on its own? Your future marriage is already in tatters. You seriously need to turn the tables on old closet ****. Chill that bitch out. Slap her back next time. Also, tell everyone you know what she did in front of her. Tell the cashier at the grocery store and anyone else you come in contact with when she is with you. At stop lights, unroll the window and tell the people in the next car about it. When she is in the shower, grab her cell phone and call her friends and tell them. Call her office and tell her boss and colleagues at work. Put a sign on her car where she wont see it when she goes to work. Exaggerate a little if that helps. If she asks you to do anything, act afraid and say "I'll do whatever you want Mom, please don't slap me". Every interaction needs a reference to her aggression and slapping. Or, you can ignore it and she will continue slapping people. But someday she will run into someone who won't take her B. S.
LadyLexi 0
I just skipped the whole thing. Too much words. :P
badactor009 0
Why bother with a reply to something you are too intellectually lazy to read?
LadyLexi 0
Because I just shared my opinion. Isn't that what comments are for??
hornet_fml 0
Well for all we know OP is only like 12 years old. Lol
Mr_Darkside 5
Love :) your mom knows what she's doing
ScarletBloom 14
You watch "the noose"? Your mum reminds me of Madam Nancy Goh.
doogy15 11
And that's when you wait for her and your dad to get in the mood... Payback time.
ZielZone 4
How old are you???
rocker_chick105 31
Owned
kawaiiheart 0
Where were you guys in the first place? Lol.
maui3 0
I think that's going a little overboard don't you?
qhostred 0
You need to put your mom on a leash