Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (232)
mrsmaglietta 6
the only way that would work is if your Neil Patrick Harris and you sir are no nph
davek 36
You, sir, have just lost The Game.
corruptedlol 2
And here, we have a prime example of a human being with a double digit IQ.
captainburke 5
I'd say your chances of scoring are 50/50 with this "negging" method and you were obviously on the negative end of that
zandalee 20
I'm sorry, but you do sound very immature. I don't think you will attract a woman of substance until you grow up a bit.
LennyComa 39
You total fanny. YDI
youprobablydidit 3
Good job, dumbass. Next time try talking to her like a person and maybe you'll actually get somewhere!
rekege 18
I feel like you should just keep going like this! So, y'know, you won't ever reproduce.
moonwing 17
"hoping to score"? What is this, a game? By the looks of things, she's the one who scored major points with a crotch shot! Plus, why would you ever "compliment" a girl with such a rude comment, anyway? Asshole.
speedyb 2
Sounds like to me you got trolled by whatever you read. Anyone that respects a girl knows shit like that gets you know where. Now you know..