Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
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Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
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Comments (232)
caitiebug1119 15
She probably spent a lot of time on her makeup too. You should've told her she looks great without makeup (if she wasn't wearing any) and she would look great with no makeup.
Nicostream 16
You stupid ****. Why do you use the damn negs that are in the book? Those are designed for super-high self-esteemed Las Vegas bitches. That's ad one. Ad two if you go out "hoping to score" you obviously lack the confidence to deliver such a line with proper voice tonality and body language. The ******* point of a neg is not to insult the girl. It is designed to make the girl think she's beautiful but you're unaffected. And SMILE for God's sake when you neg. I bet your face was all nervous... P.S.: Mystery Method is getting considered as "outplayed" because of dumb ***** like you.
HaiGais 1
Given the stigma of PUAs and the guilty-by-association element that it creates for men in general, the club scene is probably now the worst place to meet women. The gym is the new club.
KaitlynNeal 13
What did you learn...?
Lia_Mackenzie 4
No, no, no, OP! When you neg a chick, keep it shallow/physical. You don't have the rapport to talk about any part of her personality: "You know, not many girls could pull off that messy just-out-of-bed look, but it really makes your eyes stand out." "I thought the 'natural' makeup look was just for the beach!" (Going along with that,) "You're in the wrong place. You need more makeup to fit in at the bar." See what I did there? Always start the opener with a specific, observable downward shot, then bring it back up. If you're gonna do it, do it right. If you can't do it right, practice. For the rest of you people saying it doesn't work, it does. The tactics work because they disarm people. You go up to someone saying something they don't expect, or don't usually hear from others, they don't know how to respond and their guard goes down for a minute. It's simple psychology. Granted, this is not a way to find a quality girlfriend, but you really don't go to the bar to do that. Have fun. It's a game. For the record, I'm a girl.
BrittanyChayanne 14
Yay for big words!
VoodooPriestess 16
I had no idea what negging was, but suddenly this conversation I had with a guy makes sense. He was flirting then said I was skinny in comparison to the girls who lived nearby. I sat there wondering if he realized he just sounded like an a$$h*le. You totally deserve this, but know you've made me a bit wiser.
JudgeComrade 17
Certificate to reproduce officially revoked.
fictionaldiary 11
It shocks me that insulting a girl would leave her feeling insulted. Totally didn't see that coming!
hillgerb 16
YDI