Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
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Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
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Comments (232)
Cami2882 4
Crap way to get a lady!!!!
BlasianGirl 2
And It's because of idiots like you that so many women are self conscious about how they look and they go and cake on a pound of makeup thinking it'll make then look better.
sirpantselot 22
You know, that point where he assumed that any woman would fit into the formula that leaves them begging for your **** when you 'neg' them.
andiewithlove 21
YDI. Even Barney Stinson wouldn't use that line! *voice in the background* "Challenge accepted!"
allplayedout 20
I keep coming back, attempting to vote YDI more times, and am saddened that I cannot. OP, I dunno how many people have told you this, but you are a mammoth douche. Adjust accordingly.
leeburns 5
Watching to much keys to the VIPs ??
Adula 14
So you're an idiot and an asshole? Nice.
Crazberry 5
I was going to comment but I think everyone before me covered it nicely. You suck OP. I despise boys like you.
Brutalus420 5
I think everyone missed the picture... OP obviously wouldn't try picking up on a girl he assumes to be non attractive, so she must be good looking to him.. Therefore.. Complimenting her by saying she didn't put much effort into her makeup, he was actually trying to say she looks good without all the makeup... He just worded it and approached it totally wrong
ChibiChibi_fml 28
No, he was negging, he meant it exactly the way everyone is taking it. Negging is backhanded compliments designed to raise a girls self esteem and then drop it just enough, in the hopes that she'll be so crushed she'll decide that she should just have sex with you since you were so kind to speak to a creature such as her.
doctorhook86 25
90: You might wanna consider laying off the pot before commenting in the future.
psychobob 0
Should have said, "It's good you didn't wear much make up, you're very pretty it would be a shame to cover that up."