Today, I went out to a club, hoping to score. I'd read about a trick pickup artists use called "negging" and decided to try it out. As I finished complimenting a girl for being brave enough to have not made much of an effort with her makeup, she slammed her knee between my legs. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went on a blind date. She seemed really nervous, so I tried negging to loosen her up. She decked me. FML
Today, I was out clubbing, when I saw a pair of very cute girls sitting at the bar, so I went over, hoping to introduce myself. I swung my leg over the stool, and through no fault of my own, sat on my own balls. I quickly got thrown out for "harassing the ladies." FML
Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML
Today, desperate to meet a guy, I went clubbing. The only guy to show any interest opened with, "You're hot, for a black chick!" FML
Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML
Today, I went out clubbing and hit the dance floor, hoping to impress some girls with my moves. All I got was a bunch of weird looks and was told by one girl that I'm the "whitest black guy" she's ever seen. FML
Today, at a nightclub, a cute girl started hitting on me. I got into it and we danced. Just as she started getting frisky with me, a guy shoved me off, smacked me to the floor with a right-hook, and shouted, "That's what you get for touching my woman." FML
Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, after years of battling my social anxiety issues, I went out clubbing with my friends. A girl started talking to me and we actually hit it off. The next thing I know, I'm on the floor getting wailed on by some bloke for hitting on his girlfriend. She didn't do a thing to stop him. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
alwayscheesin 2
Smooth. Real smooth
greenie213 23
You should leave that stuff to the professionals.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (232)
Levvy 22
This is how it ends in real life. Take note, gentlemen.
stitesy29 18
Bitch
stitesy29 18
No woman has the right to do that to anyone!!
ForeverYoung1 3
Why the hell not? The guy attempted to belittle her and crush her self-esteem: I'd say a kick in the balls is the appropriate response...
Charmillionaire 13
You deserve it. That's one thing you don't comment negatively on. That and their clothes.
Isa_fml 20
She absolutely should not have kicked you. That's not OK. Still doesn't change the fact that you are an idiot and possibly a raging asshole.
schalk 12
Anybody who picks up bar rats, male or female, should be kicked in the crotch
NotARussianSpy 5
YDI for negging, let alone doing anything with "scoring" as your end goal and considering Howard Wolowitz as a role model.
Jasonf6 0
Did you kick her in the **** for assaulting you? How is it people think it is okay for a woman to do this?
Jasonf6 0
Fyl #12 for being a fashion *****. If you seriously believe that you get better looking with more makeup you fail at life.
Bebbo_fml 21
While yes op shouldn't have been kicked, at least he's learned a painful lesson to never neg again (hopefully). Honestly, guys if you want to approach a girl drop the cheesy lines, and avoid the douche-bag approach. Treat the girl with respect and approach her like a human being. I've been approached before in the club where men just grabbed, were down right rude, or used stupid lines to approach me. It's disrespectful.