Miscellaneous: Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I...

By Japaroni - 15/09/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 919

You deserved it 9 350

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Same thing different taste

By Men '86 - 24/07/2011 06:41 - Canada

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 011

You deserved it 39 319

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 384

You deserved it 39 496

He needs them more than you

By cjj325 - 20/03/2009 23:35 - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 021

You deserved it 32 519

By bargainshopper - 16/10/2012 11:28 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 787

You deserved it 12 887

This is fine

By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 647

You deserved it 10 369

By Higgs - 02/06/2009 19:10 - United States

Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 128

You deserved it 6 203

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 685

You deserved it 12 507

By xricardo - 05/06/2010 00:52 - United States

Today, I was mistaken for a male prostitute because I was walking home while wearing my speedo after a swim in the public pool. I was arrested and had to stay in a room full of convicts for 4 hours. Still in a speedo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 993

You deserved it 26 365

By criminal tit offender - 31/08/2013 16:25 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 958

You deserved it 72 707

Summer's here and the time is right…

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 18:30

Today, I was on my way to work and wearing a tank top when I suddenly walked through 10 feet of sprinklers and got completely soaked. A cop flagged me down in front of a bunch of people, because apparently I matched the description of a "suspect". He stared at my boobs the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 165

yumsugarr 8

Thursday 15 September 2011 16:05

Be proud of your body! (:

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 September 2011 16:19

Sounds like the start of a **** movie. Cop: 'Scuse me, but we're looking for a dangerous criminal. OP: Sorry officer, I haven't seen anything. Cop: Ma'am, I'd like to frisk you. OP: Oh yes, search and seize me!!

Comments

jkmartinjk 16

Thursday 15 September 2011 16:17

Hence the name 'pigs.'

DocBastard 38

Thursday 15 September 2011 16:19

leadman1989 15

Thursday 15 September 2011 18:14

Knight stick might end up where that bottle is. q:

margie2194 12

Thursday 15 September 2011 18:36

Or a Brittany spears music video.

GabbyCharityM 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 23:19

50 - I don't see the difference.

s3xymoma 1

Friday 16 September 2011 0:24

Your funnny;)

corrinaswan 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 16:21

My guessing ur a girl and the guys were cops

heyimallison 0

Thursday 15 September 2011 21:48

obviously.

datgamerchick 14

Friday 16 September 2011 2:23

How intelligent.

asianinvasionn6 0

Friday 16 September 2011 2:40

No shit, Sherlock.

Ghostkiller12345 9

Friday 16 September 2011 4:38

I guess you are Captain Obvious :)

corrinaswan 0

Saturday 17 September 2011 21:03

Hey you never kno what of the cops were girls an it was a guy or it was a guy swimming and the cops were gay or being sarcastic DIDNT THINK ABOUT THAT DID YOU

perdix 29

Thursday 15 September 2011 16:24

Don't flatter yourself. You could be a pig and they'd still whistle to butter you up. They are hoping you don't file a complaint about their blatant violation of your civil rights.