By criminal tit offender - 31/08/2013 16:25 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML
I agree, your life sucks 24 956
You deserved it 72 685

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Maybe next time you shouldn't comment about other peoples bodies. If you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all.

While her response was a bit excessive, you are no one to judge someone else's breasts.


Maybe next time you shouldn't comment about other peoples bodies. If you have nothing nice to say, you shouldn't say anything at all.

If everyone followed that rule, 99% of Internet users would be gone.... and that would be just lovely.

Yeah but it's called self control. Think before you speak about anything. You never know how someone may feel. She was probably already self conscious from the start about being more small chested than the other girls. OP, didn't think about the embarrassment he caused her by speaking. A lot of people need to remember that.

shaww 28

There's a difference between insulting someone and joking around with someone. That's probably a sensitive topic for the girl

I bet you were bullied a lot in school #1.

I totally agree. That was just op putting down that girl to bring herself up.

#19 I was bullied a lot in school. :) maybe not for small boobs but hey, everyone gets picked on at least once in life. Just sometimes others should still be careful of what they say before they say them. ;P

#19: Sadly, there are way too many people who are bullied for no other reason than to reap petty satisfaction by insecure twits. The bullies don't realize that the pain and the hurt lasts through the years, and can cause insecurity that is extremely difficult to overcome.

I'm guessing that was her way of saying she doesn't want to be friends anymore & OP deserves it for making fun of her.

Damn right Palirose. One of my friends said I had small boobs while skinny dipping and I called the cops on them and took their clothes. JUSTICE.

It never turns out well when you tell a girl she has small boobs!

RedPillSucks 31

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I think it was a bit of overreaction. But at the same time, I bet she just got tired of all the shit she gets because of her boobs.

15, pretty sure OP is female. Since it said "smallest boobs of us all" then again it could have been a fat male.

We don't know that it was a guy that made that comment

Emphasis on 'jokingly'. Even if she did find it insulting, her 'friend' needs to be less of a bitch and suck it up like everyone else.

Thanks for just assuming OP was male. Not all of us would be assholes like that. And given the way this FML was written, I'd bet OP was female.

Well... if that's so, then boobs can never be commented on, ever. If you say they're small, average, or large, you're bound to upset SOMEONE. "My **** aren't that small!" "Average? Not extraordinary?" "Please don't point out how grotesquely huge they are." I happen to have been placed (cursed) into the third category, and I've gotta say... it's led to many comments, most noticeably the joking ones, about how much a hassle they are. OP's friend needs to fix her self-esteem and learn to take a joke. If she's so fragile that a little comment like that pushes her over the edge, she's got bigger issues than the size of her breasts.

Do you not realize how difficult it is to 'fix' one's self esteem when society is constantly telling you that your body is wrong?

I totally agree, maybe op's friend is extremely insecure and op was rubbing salt in the wound. even big chested girls don't like their boobs commented on or the size mentioned

Jap, Thumpers dads rules, never forget them!

Epikouros 31

#144, there's no need for you to comment about other women's breasts, unless you're a breast cancer screening technician.

fluffywaspluka 7

#1 If that was reality, life would suck. you need to criticize sometimes so get out of your magical pony land where all is nice and fair.

I agree with 1 here. you deserved every bit of what you got op.

Maybe next time if you're not such a ****, you won't end up in cuffs? You deserve it for being mean for no reason. Small boobs have their benefits, if I do say so myself.

Am I the only one here that thinks insecurity doesn't give you the right to be a super bitch? And in my female friend circles we comment on each others boobs ALL THE TIME and its no big freaking deal.

OP said 'jokingly' right?! Some people are just too insecure.

"Jokingly" pointed out, OP? As in, you can say any bitch thing you want and if someone calls you on it you say "But I was just joking! Can't you take a joke?" Stop hiding behind your passive-aggressive-bitch excuses. The least you can do is own your stupid insults.

I would've thought that since OP and friend know each other well enough to go skinny dipping, she would know what her friend would find funny. Either OP was dead wrong, or the friend reacted differently than usual.

It doesn't turn out good of you tell a giy he has a small dick. Even jokingly for example during sex.

It's like the least funny joke anyway, "hey you're boobs are really small, HAHAHAHA" :/ ydi

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One of my friends commented on my small dick, now I comment on how he doesn't have a dick

threer 30

Come on, guys! Give him a break, that was funny!

Okay, OP went a bit far, but that other girl went one hundred thousand times ******* farther. I don't think that either of their actions were necessary, but that girl took it way too seriously. OP did deserve something, just not this much.

While her response was a bit excessive, you are no one to judge someone else's breasts.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

One day while swimming with a few friends I was the judge to see which girl had the best boobs and the firmest ass.. They were all winners in my opinion! Now I tell everyone I'm the judge of boobs, but no one listens..

lolita88_fml 27

I wonder why.. :P

Wait. Is OP a girl or a guy?

You know OP that sound like a dick move. You just pointed out one of her insecurities. And you might think it's a joke but she might think otherwise. I sure would not like to be pointed out as different in a crowd of people. It's hard to live in a society where people have to look 'certain' ways. Billboards, media and magazines remind me of that everyday.

Black_Rose97 9

@69: OP said "she has the smallest boobs out of all of us" (something along those lines), the use of "us" includes herself.

@75 Maybe OP is a guy and has bigger boobs anyways.

Not everyone is insecure about their bodies. My best friend has the smallest boobs of our group, and we constantly tease her. But she know we are joking and gets me back by pointing out my big butt. Some people need to learn to accept themselves cuz the world sucks. FYL

CallMeMcFeelii 13

I totally agree with you, 90. You should be confidant in your own skin. If you aren't, try to learn to be. I don't believe media is to blame when people think poorly of themselves, they're doing that on their own and need a scapegoat to blame their own opinions on. If you think you need to change, there may be a reason behind that, a reason you very well could change yourself. I'm not talking about boobs or noses or anything that involves surgery, I'm saying if you want self esteem, sometimes you need to build that on your own, and stop blaming the rest of the worlds perspective on what you should look like, and be your own person.

Epikouros 31

#90, your 'best friend' probably knows she will be bullied relentlessly if she doesn't respond light-heartedly to your comments. That doesn't mean she's enjoying it.

110- i wouldn't be so confident about small boobs not sagging. Just saying. I know a lot of older women, including my own mother who have/had small breasts and due to pregnancy and old age their breasts have sagged. So just so you know...sagging boobs doesn't discriminate when it comes to size.

afkwarrior 25

luckily no one can see the fact you had the smallest brain. women reeeeeeeaallyyyy don't like it when you say stuff like that

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monnanon 13

i agree with you. people are too quick to be offended nowadays. it wasnt an insult or a joke from OP it was a statement of fact. the "friend" is oversensitive and highly strung to even contemplate calling the cops over that.

afkwarrior 25

You seem a bit highly strung. 174. I never claimed to, I'm just saying it's a pretty dumb thing to say to your ride home if you know they're sensitive. Maybe she got pushed into doing it by everyone else...? You don't really know. You saying you'd just be all like, "yeah, Captain Obvious" is also implying that you speak on behalf of how all women should have reacted.

No, that's literally me saying what *my* reaction would be.

Pointing out her small boobs was bad of you, but stealing all of your clothes and your phones, and getting the whole lot of you busted for public nudity (which will land you on the sex-offender list in some states), was a disproportionate response. FYL.

That can really get you put on the sex offender registry in certain states? I didn't know that, I always thought that a person had to commit some kind of sexual assault for that to happen. I learn new things on FML!

Peeing in public can get you arrested too. Indecent exposure.

thrAsHeRr9081 16

Nope. Urinating in public can land you on there.

@#34 yeah, there was a fad for "streaking" in the 1970s....take off all your clothes and, say, run across your college football field during a game, or something. A number of people got arrested for this, of course. Back then, they had to pay fifty dollars and pick up the the snow. (I.e. it was a public-order crime, nothing serious.) Flash-forward a few decades and lo and behold, they're on on the sex-offender list for what was essentially a college prank rather than doing anything predatory.

169, that sounds a bit extreme to me, I mean I do see how streaking is illegal, but being put on that registry for streaking? I don't see how streaking can be put in the same category as a sexual assault crime, that's just crazy!

morganrules123 10

199 I think it's because it's difficult to legally differentiate a streaker from a flasher. If someone runs around naked for a few seconds at a football game, they don't deserve to be a sex offender. If someone runs around purposely showing their junk to someone, they should be a sex offender. Sadly, the charge you get for streaking is the same as the one you get for flashing.

5, I feel like your the only one who realized this.. Yes it's extremely messed up of OP to comment towards her that way, but that's not deserving of what happened to the whole lot of them. She didnt just punish OP, she punished everyone. And something about that just doesn't exactly seem fair. Like I said, I'm not condoning OPs actions because what they did was rude and uncalled for, but take all their stuff and call the cops on EVERYONE else over it? IMO that's a little excessive. There are more appropriate ways to handle that situation.

ShadowTheDumbass 10

YDI because... do I really need to explain why?

monnanon 13

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#194, sorry that women are self-conscious of their bodies. You being a female, I would think you'd understand her actions.

Bullies get bullied, that's only fair.

HeadlessSparrow 20

Lesson learned, not to go skinny dipping!

Or not to be an a-hole to other people.

What's wrong with skinny dipping?

HeadlessSparrow 20

From what I learned from this FML is that skinny dipping led to a joke about a girl's boobs. The joke led to the girl leaving calling the cops. The call led to the cops at the scene of skinny dipping. I learned not to go skinny dipping with this OP.

1PersonIsMyWorld 22


Jaaared_ 15

She did the right thing, op.

Both OP and her friend both did bad things, they are both wrong.

YDI for being such a bitch