Intimacy: Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided... - FML

By crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 540

You deserved it 244 195

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Same thing different taste

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 136

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 925

You deserved it 8 228

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 603

You deserved it 4 659

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 042

You deserved it 8 055

Ball Is Life

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 12:00

Spicy

Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 012

You deserved it 265

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 127

You deserved it 2 159

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 363

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 217

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 302

You deserved it 40 659

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 603

You deserved it 11 176

Next

Top comments

DjeePee 24

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:57

You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.

tintin1 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:56

Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.

Comments

milly_11 4

Thursday 23 June 2011 0:23

u totally desrve that and more ass wipe

tmack9 2

Thursday 23 June 2011 5:57

Its all your fault op! YDI to yourself...just stop yourself!

potatopotato 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 2:01

I agree with that hot chick

diggs010 5

Saturday 25 June 2011 7:09

did you expect sympathy?

YouBetterGit 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 0:17

Two words: Douche. Bag.

ThatJamesKid 4

Sunday 26 June 2011 5:33

Uhhh guys you are being pretty sexist. I mean if it was a woman that got beat up by two men and got sent to hospital, you would all take a different approach. You wouldnt all be saying " You asshole! You dont deserve the fingers to type this FML with! YDI for being a dick!" Women, have yo ever been kicked in the balls? No I didnt think so. Therefore you dont know the excruciating pain it puts us in. I agree that cheating is pretty much the worst thing that you can do in a relationship, but to get put in the hospital from getting kicked in the balls by two women is just way too far. What if he cant have kids now? I mean thats pretty much the point of life isnt it? Now Im sure this comment is gonna get trolled, but how about you all think before you post yeah?

slipperykricket 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 14:32

You're a piece of shit person. Why are you complaining? If anything THEY should be writing an FML. "Today, I found out I was dating a little bitch boy who has weak knees and a ****** instead of a penis and testicles. FML"

theluckygirl28 8

Saturday 2 July 2011 22:39

Associating weak knees with having a ******? Kinda sexist.

abieri914 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:57

Asshole!!! how in the hell could you even think someone would acctually feel BAD for you?!?! You sick bastard!

Megadeth72 0

Monday 27 June 2011 0:03

If I was one of those girls ( im a guy), I would have crushed both of your testicles. YDI for being a douchebag

Bdubwv87 0

Monday 27 June 2011 12:59

Dont you hate when that happens

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The Top

The Top

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 016

You deserved it 5 360

Today, I was reading a book in public. Some bastard stranger came over and started spoiling the plot for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 118

You deserved it 2 873

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that I'd put him on a six-month sex ban if he didn't binge watch Glee with me. He took the sex ban without hesitation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 230

You deserved it 2 060

Today, I asked my kids how much they loved me. My seven year-old responded, 'I'll love you forever mummy.' My sixteen year-old responded, 'Can you wind down the window, I just farted.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 227

You deserved it 13 829

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 565

You deserved it 43 390

Today, I went to the hairdresser and changed my hairstyle drastically. It wasn't until she was nearly done that she said, "I just KNEW this style wasn't going to suit you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 287