Intimacy: Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided... - FML

By crushed dreams - 16/06/2011 06:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went from a party where both of my girlfriends decided to show, to a hospital bed with no girlfriends and a painful left testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 540

You deserved it 244 195

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Same thing different taste

Wrong place, wrong time

By Matthew - 10/03/2021 00:30

Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 136

Ouchie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2011 04:18 - United States

Spicy

Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 925

You deserved it 8 228

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 603

You deserved it 4 659

Mah bawsac

By Anonymous - 12/07/2014 20:19 - United States - Indianapolis

Spicy

Today, I accidentally twisted my balls in my own underwear so badly that I had to be hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 042

You deserved it 8 055

Ball Is Life

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 12:00

Spicy

Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 012

You deserved it 265

By suosi - 26/07/2015 17:55 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, the crush I've had for months finally came over to my place for the first time. It didn't last long however, as I suddenly had to go to the ER for severe testicular pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 127

You deserved it 2 159

By Anonymous - 11/08/2018 01:30

Today, I didn't see the cat in the bathroom before I took my pants down, and the beast tore open my ballsack. The doctor says I might lose my left testicle, depending on how the surgery goes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 876

You deserved it 363

Agony

By Ouch - 22/12/2021 22:59 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I had sex with a guy I really liked. His testicle spontaneous turned inside his sack and he blacked out from the pain. He peed my bed, and I had to rush him to the ER so they could turn it back. Had to explain to his family and doctors what happened. It was my first time meeting them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 173

You deserved it 217

By inpain - 20/11/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 302

You deserved it 40 659

By Ballhugger - 06/12/2009 20:42 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I fell asleep with my hands down my pants. I woke up to an excruciating pain coming from my genitalea. It turns out that I was having nightmares and I squeezed my balls because I was so terrified. I popped 3 blood vessels in my scrotum and now walk with a limp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 603

You deserved it 11 176

Next

Top comments

DjeePee 24

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:57

You totally deserved it. There is nothing more to be said. Hopefully you'll now have learned the importance of words like 'respect', 'loyalty', 'love' and 'peoplewhocheatdeservetobekickedintheballs'.

tintin1 0

Thursday 16 June 2011 15:56

Next time, don't cheat. Idiot.

Comments

lewk908 13

Tuesday 21 June 2011 8:25

never seen that many thumbs up before... mmm

IronZombie 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 10:50

ydi for not juggling yo bitchez better what kind of pimp is you??

Rainbow_Crash 11

Tuesday 21 June 2011 13:30

It's cute how OP thinks he can garner some sympathy on here after what he did. You got balls, OP. Oh, I'm sorry. You got BALL.

jellybaby17 0

Tuesday 21 June 2011 23:36

ass wipe!! to bad they didn't damage your right one to!

blondie1208 17

Wednesday 22 June 2011 1:06

That's what you get for cheating you asshole.

_IHeartMusic_ 4

Wednesday 22 June 2011 4:31

Dude, you're a ******* dick. Seriously.

bh173 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 6:16

YDI, for being an ass and having two girlfriends.

blanca_lidia 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 6:29

you totally deserved it!!

ihatelove555 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:53

this, my friend, is why we dont cheat!!

tacohead411 14

Wednesday 22 June 2011 9:10

wow. you're dumb!!!

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Today, because I have a coughed a total of 2 times in a row, I'm now banned from seeing any of my family until I get tested for coronavirus. The earliest available appointment is May 3rd. Looks like quarantine is going to be a lot worse than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 707

You deserved it 241

Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 539

You deserved it 2 337

Today, and ever since I gave birth to my son, I’ve hated being a mom. I held him, waiting for the rush of love my mom told me I’d feel and… nothing, I was completely emotionless about holding my newborn son and it’s gotten worse. I really hate being a mom, and my husband just does not understand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 332

Today, I had to explain to my boss that DVI ports are not the same as HDMI ports. When I showed him the HDMI cable, he said, "Oh! You mean USB!" He's an engineering manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 772

You deserved it 1 783

Today, I was quickly eating lunch during a work meeting. I ended up inhaling some of my sandwich so I've had toast stuck in my sinuses for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 261

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 332

You deserved it 18 090