Intimacy and Health: Ball Is Life

Ball Is Life

By Anonymous - 17/09/2018 12:00

Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 872

You deserved it 242

Intimacy Health

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Cockstepblocked

By Anonymous - 19/09/2019 18:00

Today, while rushing upstairs to have sex, I tripped on the stairs and rammed my naked boner into the edge of the step. All my wife could do is laugh at me. Now it even hurts to pee or put my trousers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 102

You deserved it 459

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 00:36 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 664

You deserved it 3 091

Spiked

By Kmcc - 22/04/2019 12:00

Today, while having sex with my wife, I got a sudden leg cramp. While sliding off the bed, I found a sewing needle. With my ball sack. I ended up with a one-inch gash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 674

You deserved it 265

What were the odds?

By Anonymous - 02/10/2023 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I fell off my truck and landed on one of the stakes my wife uses to keep her plants upright. I landed on it so perfectly that it went through my shorts and perfectly straight up my asshole for a good 4 inches before it snapped. My wife helpfully removed it, but I still spent a night in hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 108

By anonymous - 30/01/2018 06:00

Today, I ended up in an awkward position during sex and dislocated my knee. My wife accused me of doing it on purpose to criticize her for being too fat and heavy for sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 335

You deserved it 523

By B - 04/02/2012 01:17 - United States

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 481

You deserved it 3 416

By Gordon - 22/07/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 667

You deserved it 6 757

By neveragain - 12/02/2016 19:10 - United Kingdom - Byfleet

Today, I ended up in the ER because I ruptured a testicle by accidentally sitting on it. Last time I ever go commando. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 572

You deserved it 4 642

Nutshot

By Blue Nut Records - 31/10/2023 18:00 - Switzerland - Delémont

Today, I managed to squeeze a testicle between my thigh and a drawer while doing the dishes. From the floor, writhing in pain, I watched my wife laughing hysterically while our two year-old ran up to jump on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 293

You deserved it 68

By Anonymous - 01/08/2013 22:29 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 008

You deserved it 9 298

geekynerd88 10

Monday 17 September 2018 13:34

Your wife literally made you bust a nut.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 10 September 2018 15:57

We mourn your loss, brother.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Monday 10 September 2018 15:57

We mourn your loss, brother.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 17 September 2018 21:28

Half-brother.

risingtide 19

Tuesday 5 February 2019 18:21

This comment made my day 😂 😂 😂 😂

Emily Ball 5

Monday 17 September 2018 13:16

That was a really ballsy move of her.

geekynerd88 10

Monday 17 September 2018 13:34

Your wife literally made you bust a nut.

Charlie Given 26

Monday 17 September 2018 14:22

Umm WHAT!!! it takes about 400lbs to rupture a ******** ,what did she do get a running jump?🤔😨😵😕

corrupteddevil 12

Tuesday 18 September 2018 10:05

Distribution of weight plays an important role. 180 pounds dispersed over a couple of square inches could easily surpass 400 pounds of pressure, especially if you factor in momentum.