Anonymous
Great Malvern, United Kingdom
Today, I watched my brother attempt to cook some eggs without turning the gas on. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
James
Gordon says you SUCK
Today, my sister was so bored during the lockdown that she let me attempt to cook an omelette without turning the stove on, just so she had something amusing to watch. FML
Anonymous
Today, I found out you really can burn down a kitchen by boiling an egg. FML
sarah4241
Belfast, United Kingdom
Masterchef
Today, I was making some scrambled eggs. I had the eggs in a pan, stirring for about ten minutes, before I realised that the eggs were cooking very slow. I tried to figure out what was wrong for another few minutes before my grandma pointed out to me that the oven wasn't turned on. FML
Anonymous
Zagreb, Croatia
Today, I decided to eat healthier. I started with making 2 eggs and burning down whole kitchen. FML
Anonymous
United States
Never say easy
Today, I decided to make pancakes from scratch. I poured the batter in my Perfect Pancake pan. Then I told my brother who was watching, "This is so easy. Just watch." I burned 15 pancakes, including the one I dropped on the burner, which lit on fire, causing the alarm to go off. FML
Anonymous
Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML
Anonymous
Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich
Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML
Annon
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
Australia
Idiots, idiots everywhere
Today, the recycling bin caught fire. My little brother was "experimenting" with his magnifying glass, set an egg carton on fire, and didn't realise you had to put it out before throwing it in the bin. FML
francesa_loca
Canada
Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML
burned
United States
Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML
Top comments
Wizardo 33
The fire is there just like the cooking skills you can't see, muggles.
pdp_fml 21
He should watch some you tube videos to learn how to cook.
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Comments (111)
fuggotmuggot 14
Well, how old is he?
thelittleghost 3
Was the egg good?
Lacist 19
Oh noo ur brother cant cook **** your life.
nannygirl1990 6
this sounds more like a f HIS life! it also sounds like something I might do because I quite typically forget what I'm doing and end up looking stupid like that..oh well provides my husband with plenty to laugh about. haha
Lang88 13
So did it work? Did he fry them?
bigdmc25 2
what part of that makes your life sux?? sounds like twin dumbasses....
bigdmc25 2
ok...since my last comment was kicked...let me rephrase....sounds like you have such an exciting life....can't wait for tomorrows story
guyssite 4
This would make sense if it was your brother's comment. "Today, I tried to cook eggs...without the burner on." Haha. How does watching your brother have a brain fart make it "F-My life" worthy for YOU? Tell me exactly how you were victimized by life in this particular situation....
LoopyLuuLuu 7
Just wait, in a couple hours we'll probably see "Today, I tried to do something nice for my brother by making him some eggs for breakfast. After several minutes of watching the eggs in the pan, I realized that I forgot to turn on the stove. My brother watched the whole time, laughing, and then he posted about it online. FML" That would just be perfect.
himemillie 2
I've done that before, but I was stoned off my ass...