Today, I was working as an intern at a day care. One of the kids touched my chest a couple of times, and I jokingly told him that he shouldn't touch old and ugly women like me. So he started groping the little girls instead. When the other teachers asked him why, he said I had told him to. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML
Today, a student told me to fuck off. I work with 3 year-olds. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, I was working the register at a local grocery store. A kid about 5 years old was having trouble zipping his jacket. I reached out to help him and he started screaming "No bad touch bad touch!" and kicked me in the knee. Everyone looked. FML
Today, I was at the mall with my girlfriend's family. Her 7 year old brother told me he was feeling sad, so I tried to give him a pat on the back, but it turns out he had a bruise there. He yelled out "don't touch me there!" In the middle of the mall. Now her parents think I'm a pedophile. FML
Today, at the camp that I work at, a little girl asked to "feel" my muscles. Thinking it was cute, I flexed for her. She laughed and said, "No, really." FML
Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML
Today, I was volunteering at the daycare in my area. When this one kid was leaving, he asked his mom, "Why is she so ugly?" FML
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Top comments
DahkLohd 4
Word of advice: don't make those kinds of jokes around little kids. They won't understand!
AgeOfAquariusss 7
Haha kids can really twist your words :D
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Comments (87)
KagamineLen_fml 0
ah sounds like me when I was younger ;3
SisyphereanTask 2
It didn't occur to you to teach that it's inappropriate to sexually assault a woman regardless of her age? YDI for being a moron.
guppy40000 0
hope his parents arent also teaching him to be a perv, like you accidentally did.
stevenmx86 8
You did tell him to.. The proper instruction is "Don't touch girls there" and punish him if he doesn't listen...
muchagente 5
nope. the proper instruction would have been "don't touch anyone without their consent, especially not in that area".
taelorrae011 0
I hope they didn't believe him!
mayafd15 0
I intern at a childcare center too, in that situation you should've said something along the lines of "keep your hands to yourself". and you can tell the teacher about what happened he or she will probably understand.
bannedforlife 0
Idiot. You suck with children.
goldfish78 11
i wish I was that kid! you must have a great boobies!
punkrulz 1
At least we know this one won't grow up to be a priest... One less to worry about.
JoshGHardy 0
Pedoteddybear taught that child well