Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
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Top comments
kurukururock 0
What's your problem? You should be flattered that another guy wants to flirt with your girlfriend, she must be attractive. If he was touching her or something, yeah, I would've gotten angry and probably told him to back off too. But that was really uncalled for, and YDI.
dave202 0
wow you need to lighten up, not every guy who talks to your girlfriend wants to take her from you.
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Comments (117)
mcguire_fml 0
http://all-the-exgirlfriends.info/?uid=19268
i_got_it 0
ahaah... Thats what you get for trying to be douchebag.
papertigers_fml 0
if he hadn't done anything, you people would be all like "YDI for being a doormat". so i say FYL, at least you tried to stand up for yourself, even though you failed.
allmidnighteyes 11
In defense of the other guy... the fact that there's a goalie doesn't mean you still can't score.
benniful 0
your a douchebag. not cool
Person1233 13
How the **** are you still here?
movies12 0
I personally would LOVE to be with a guy like that. My gosh your boyfriend getting jealous over you....that's awesome! Man i wish my bf was more like that. OP that sucks maybe u shouldn't judge people by there size tho. FYL I guess!
namezox 0
next time you should aim for the ball sacks.
shootingstar8D 0
Ydi for starting drama With someone over something stupid next time ignore it and walk away with her
hypocrites 0
Wow, www.fmylife.com has to have some of the biggest hypocrites I have EVER seen. A few months ago there was an FML about some guy who didn't tell a guy that was hitting on his girlfriend to back of and she ended up going home with that guy. Nearly everyone that replied told him "YDI for not telling the guy to back off". Now someone tells the person flirting with their girlfriend to back off and all of you hypocrites are saying "YDI for telling the guy to back off". What the **** is with you guys? To the OP, FYL.
claritin 0
I believe the proper term is "happy sacks."
DisposableHeroes 0
Probably a bad idea, he'd look like a weak coward if he aimed for the dude's balls.
SupremeO 0
A SMART weak coward.
waterynuggets 0
Did it ever occur to you that the same people posting on that one a few months ago aren't the same ones who are posting on this FML? Lulz.
bipolaradhdfml 0
What?
depotst 0
******* a