Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
kurukururock 0
What's your problem? You should be flattered that another guy wants to flirt with your girlfriend, she must be attractive. If he was touching her or something, yeah, I would've gotten angry and probably told him to back off too. But that was really uncalled for, and YDI.
dave202 0
wow you need to lighten up, not every guy who talks to your girlfriend wants to take her from you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
aback 5
Find a girlfriend who doesn't flirt with other guys and expect you to fight over her silly ass.
palmtrees 1
Also, there's a difference between saying something to your girlfriend or the other guy and pushing him because he looks weaker than you and you want to pick on someone so that you look like a man.
paivarotti 0
no
FerrariCake 2
****. I hate being a hypocrite. Especially when everyone else is a hypocrite too. FML Sorry #23... we'll try to be better and no so hypocritical in the future.
hypocrites 0
Good.
DrunkenValor 0
Next time kick him in the groin, don't shove him.
srgntawesome 0
Seriously, don't post shit on the comments about being flattered and shit, people could give less of a **** about your feelings.
Astroman129 7
This is one of the FML's that it really doesn't take too long for me to vote for, and that is because you obviously deserved it. Try not to pick fights with anyone in the future, simply because it can't help you at all. My final decision is that you deserved it.
TysonFawlay 0
Haha, I love idiots like you thinking you're the man... If you were at all confident and not a little ******* asshole you'd have let him flirt with her while smiling and then left without making a scene.
bre_zip_it_up13 11
ydi for picking on someone who you thought was weaker than you if you wanted if to stop flirting with her you could have told him to move and stop flirting with her im gonna put fyl because you got yo ass beat and if your girl flirted back fyl and ydi for 4 having her as a gf
NothingToGein 0
You idiot, you deserve it for starting shit for no reason. Go join a frat so you can be super over-protective of girls to the point where it's creepy, get backed up in every fight you start by 20 other losers just like you, and maybe you'll feel better about losing your girlfriend, which you will if you keep acting like a dipshit. You deserve it a hundred times, I wish that kid had broken your arm.
TheRealStunts 27
For no reason? If i walked up to your girlfriend WHILE YOU WERE WITH HER and i started shamelessly flirting with her would you just stand there and let me?
xx_irish_rose_xx 0
YDI for being overly aggressive. Girls are not impressed when our bfs try to kill every guy who talks to us!
grv_fml 4
men are not impressed when their women flirt+ with every dick around either
DeathByIrony90 0
You sure have some douchebag frats on your campus then...I mean, so does every campus with a greek life, but most have a good group of fellows too. That's a pretty big stereotype there.
NothingToGein 0
BEST MOVIE EVER! YEAH! SNATCH!!
capital_seven 0
YDI for needless violence. Also, you phrased this so that it sounds as if you got your ass kicked by a seven-year-old.
DisposableHeroes 0
lol