Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
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Top comments
kurukururock 0
What's your problem? You should be flattered that another guy wants to flirt with your girlfriend, she must be attractive. If he was touching her or something, yeah, I would've gotten angry and probably told him to back off too. But that was really uncalled for, and YDI.
dave202 0
wow you need to lighten up, not every guy who talks to your girlfriend wants to take her from you.
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Comments (117)
sincerely331 0
Here's a suggestion, go to the gym and work out so yu can build some muscles..also dump the girl, she shouldn't be laughing @ yu for TRYING to defend her. Next time, the stupid bitch can defend herself.
KarmaMike 0
umm ok if there together he minding there own business a little prick has no right to do that... ur a girl and girls get super jealous when there boyfriends flirt with other girls but when she does and a guy gets mad at her she flips out and says there's nothing wrong
redcanary 0
I understand you being upset that this guy was flirting, but you don't shove people for that. Also, you shoved him because he looked weaker than you? What the ****? Your own self described weakness tells me that there is a Napolean complex of sorts going on here...
uranusclub 0
Omg ur life sucks
GamerG0DDESS 29
Wouldn't just asking him to back off suffice? Why would you physically push him? To me, OP, you need to calm down. You've got a good looking girlfriend, I'd be glad if people flirted with my girlfriend. Now, this is not to be confused with the disrespectful flirting such as: "nice jugs, sweetie *creepy wink and a smack to the butt*" then, feel free to defend your woman! Otherwise, just tell him that you're not comfortable with his "introduction." If he gives you sass, then just walk away.
cwl727 33
Why did you have to push him?
bigman378 3
You should hit the gym and lift more
Pointy 12
Thing number 1: don't be so overly jealous Thing number 2: if you ARE so overly Jealous, learn Krav Maga so you get the living shit beaten out of you
Solano2580 24
Regardless flirting is still bad, most women respond to "love signals" with their ears, just about any romantic crap can get them head over heels
cnbcad 15
Strength doesn't win fights. Ability is far more important. Also mental state. When you go berserk (mentally) its amazing how many guys you can take.