Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when a little guy walked up and flirted with her. I'm a pretty weak guy and he looked weaker, so I gave him a little push and said "Back off". He's actually not weak at all. I've got a black eye and a girlfriend who won't stop laughing to prove it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend actually walked into a door and gave herself a black eye. She's too embarrassed to admit it, so she's telling everyone I beat her. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a black eye by running into a door. To avoid being teased about her clumsiness, she's telling everyone that I hit her. FML
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
Today, my girlfriend totally emasculated me and made me a laughing stock when we got mugged and, instead of just handing over her purse like the guy said, she took out a stun gun and used it on him while I freaked out and cried. Now all my friends are laughing at me. FML
Today, I was out when a guy walking with his girlfriend eyed me up. I made a shocked face at him and kept walking. The next thing I knew, his girlfriend was beating the shit out of me claiming that I was "the other woman." I'd never seen the guy before in my life. FML
Today, my girlfriend's ex punched me so hard in the face, I couldn't see straight. But I got up anyway. I lunged at him, and nailed him in the jaw. Turns out I'd in fact just knocked out my girlfriend the on-looker. FML
Today, I was play-wrestling with my girlfriend. I ended up with a cut, three bruises on my arm and a black eye. She just giggled the entire time. FML
Today, I was walking my girlfriend to class when my friend came by and playfully punched me in the arm. Trying not to look like a wimp, I turned around to hit him in the arm. Instead, I ended up punching a girl in the face. Now my girlfriend won't talk to me and I'm suspended. FML
Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought she was stronger than me so we arm wrestled. She won. I used both hands. FML
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Top comments
kurukururock 0
What's your problem? You should be flattered that another guy wants to flirt with your girlfriend, she must be attractive. If he was touching her or something, yeah, I would've gotten angry and probably told him to back off too. But that was really uncalled for, and YDI.
dave202 0
wow you need to lighten up, not every guy who talks to your girlfriend wants to take her from you.
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Comments (117)
emilygirl14 0
And no fawley you ******* idiot, that would have meant he doesn't give a shit about her.
palmtrees 1
Hey, how about until you know something about being in a relationship with a possessive and controlling asshole, you don't make massive judgements about all relationships? We have no way of knowing what the OP's relationship with his girlfriend is really like, so we really have no way of knowing if he's being nice by trying to "stand up for her" (even though it says NOWHERE that this guy was bothering or harassing her) or if he's being excessively possessive - which can turn into a pretty scary relationship dynamic. So until you've experienced EVERY possible relationship in the world and somehow magically have all of the information about the OP's relationship here, why don't you shut up and stop being such a bitch to everyone else?
Gwythinn 0
I agree with #61. Also, this isn't the 1950's, or caveman days. The woman doesn't go to the monkey who beats up the most other monkeys anymore. Women are people and can stand up for themselves -- or at least the ones who are worth dating can. If the guy had attacked her or harassed her, it would be a different situation, but as all the guy did was flirt, it's her responsibility to tell him she's not available, not his.
Neopopulas 9
You totally, completely, whole heartedly deserved that
michellechuuu 0
hey think about, youre the one who has a girlfriend.
emilygirl14 0
Push, shove..whine some more please. He got laid out. Obviously little man can handle himself. He may have deserved it, but he had every ******* right to do what he did. "Little man" should have backed the **** up. You don't flirt with someone right in front of their significant other unless you WANT to start shit. Period. End of story.
fmlbaby_fml 0
Yeah... for now. I bet she dumps him!
Witchcraft_fml 5
You must be very embarrassed. Are you going to go pick a fight with a large guy now to prove to your girlfriend that you are in fact not a bitch? :]
bds0688 0
I bet both the OP and mr overreaction have bleached hair and possibly tan a lot. Probably say "bro" and or "brah" way too much, and pop their collars.
Jonathan33 0
let me guess...you had just got done watching ultimate fighter: heavyweights which made you think you can fight. then u decided to kick it with your girl, so you threw on your affliction shirt and put on those Ed hardy pants, and spiked up the fauxhawk. am I on the right track here? so then a guy comes up and starts "flirting" with your girl. u decide to take what you learned from rampage and put it to the test. which led to you failing miserably and getting a black eye in the process. u sir, r awsome!
666HailSatan666 0
YDI for assuming that he is weaker than you just because he is shorter. Next time have a knuckle duster on you or bulk up.
DameGreyWulf 1
Also, what kind of message are you sending your gal if you say "I'll beat people up if they seem weaker" or "I'll only stand up for you if they're weaker than I am" ?
Brey1013 0
YDI for being so confrontational.