dave202

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

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Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

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Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

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Today, I went to a restaurant for lunch. I began to eat when I noticed a blond hair in my food. When that happened, I went up to the counter and began complaining about their hygiene. When the manager insisted no one that works there had long blond hair, I realized that it was my hair. FML

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Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

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