Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/3/2014 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

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Season finale

KoBabe

Gas giant

By Well, crap - 18/6/2013 15:02 - Denmark - Kongerslev

Today, I attempted to ask a girl out by doing a flash mob and singing for her in the store where she works. Turns out, she suffers from anxiety and the overwhelming amount of attention caused a panic attack. No, I didn't get a date. FML

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By anony - 24/5/2016 12:57 - New Zealand - East Tamaki

Today, my boyfriend's mum begged me to stay with my boyfriend because she says I'm the only one who can actually get him through college and into a decent job. FML

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By Happy Employee - 31/8/2014 21:51 - United States

Today, I returned from my first paid vacation in the past 2 years from a place with no cell, or internet. I've just found out that our department has been downsized. FML

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By Madridsta - 28/6/2014 06:28 - United States - Rialto

Today, while being high for the first time after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I called my dental assistant pretty before leaving, and then shouted, "I NEED TO POOP!" to the whole office. FML

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By - 29/12/2018 10:00 - United States - Washington

Today, I found out my 8th period science teacher got fired. Our final is tomorrow. FML

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By Elizabeth Ann - 2/5/2019 14:00

Today, I was at work for almost two hours today before realizing I had marinara sauce on my face. My coworkers didn’t say anything because I’m really clumsy and they figured it was blood, and therefore not unusual. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/11/2012 15:44 - United States

Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML

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By Anonymous - 6/11/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told his best friend to text my sister telling her to tell me that he was breaking up with me. FML

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By SisterOfTard - 10/11/2014 16:31 - United States - Florence

Today, my brother offered me $20 to practice his kissing on me for his date later this evening. FML

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By #goodbyelife - 9/12/2014 00:38 - United States

Today, my mom texted me and asked what I was up to. In response, I joked, "Dancing on the dining room table, waving dad's Calvin Klein's in the air, and shooting bullets into her bedroom floor." Not only did the cops show up, but now I'm grounded for two weeks for being, "deceptively believable." FML

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By Anonymous - 2/8/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I hurt my arm in a scooter accident, when my dad came to pick me up instead of taking me to the hospital like a normal dad, he took me directly home where he spent a hour shaving and taking a shower so he would "look nice" when he went to the hospital while I clutched my arm in pain. FML

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By not anymore - 30/10/2015 23:29 - United States - Monroe

Today, I made a Facebook post about my upcoming driving test. My grandpa said he knew I would succeed, prompting my idiot boyfriend to reply "For sure, she really knows how to suck seed ;)" followed by him liking his own comment. FML

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By sullry - 25/12/2019 05:00

Great solution

Today, I had a talk with my roommate that last semester my grades took a bit because he stays up late every night playing video games. And then asked him about playing less, so I can get more sleep. Today also, he gave me a pair of ear plugs and asked if they would solve the problem. FML

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By Shoe - 27/2/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, my boss told me he suspected his wife was cheating on him. I told him to pull up her Facebook page to look for suspicious activity. I looked at her profile picture and said, "Damn, that girl next to her fine! You know her?" It was his sixteen year old daughter. FML

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By butchapparently - 10/8/2015 15:35

Today, I got a text from the guy I've been in love with for 3 years, saying: "So um, I've been wondering. Did you used to be a man?" FML

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By hockusa3 - 11/9/2014 15:44 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/3/2009 02:36 - United States

Today, one of my co-workers invited me to a cookout at her house with some other people from my new job. She said to wear my suit. Assuming she had a pool, I showed up in a bikini, only to find everyone else wearing business attire and staring at me like I had lost my mind. FML

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By Employee - 7/8/2012 19:17 - United States - Lincoln

Today, while at work, I used the restroom. After I noticed we were out of paper towels, I just tried shaking my hands dry. I then readjusted my bra, since it'd been driving me crazy all day. After getting back to my cubicle, I realized that I had two wet handprints over my boobs. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/5/2009 01:09 - United States

Today, at exactly midnight, I get a text from my boyfriend saying we were done. I had just seen him 4 hours ago when we were out celebrating my birthday, and asked why he didnt just tell me then. He replies 'I couldn't break up with you on your birthday but i wanted it to be over ASAP' FML

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By ObviousBooty - 17/7/2016 07:31 - United States - Kankakee

Today, me and my dad were in a sort of prank war. I decided to get him back for one last time tonight, so I hid in his office to scare him. This would have been okay had I not caught him watching porn. I had to hide for an hour. FML

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By disguested - 4/3/2010 20:01 - United States

Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML

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By coveholli - 15/11/2014 14:43 - Australia - Perth

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

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By TronCat8230 - 20/5/2017 12:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time, and from what I'd heard he's super strict and uptight. I go in for the firm handshake after introducing myself while looking him in the eyes and I accidentally grabbed his junk. FML

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By arghh - 29/9/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was on a tram and I noticed an older lady having trouble getting down the stairs. I immediately got up to help her, dropping my bag on the seat accidentally. As I went to get back on the tram, the doors closed. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/4/2009 08:52 - Australia

Today, I called my mom from Australia. I have been abroad for two months and hadn't talked to her in a long time. A few minutes into the conversation my moms stops me and says this call must cost a fortune and hangs up on me. A few bucks in more important to her then me. FML

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By Alex Andreas - 2/7/2015 03:10 - United States - Edmond

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

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By Bad Mum? - 31/3/2019 23:00 - United Kingdom - Harrow

Today, my eldest son told me he wishes he lived with his dad. This after I, two years ago, managed to get myself and my children out of the abusive situation we were in. Why? He didn't want to tidy his toys. FML

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By Anonymous - 4/11/2010 19:07 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/4/2011 02:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to console my drunk dad over his girlfriend breaking up with him. When he said, "You know why we broke up don't you?" I replied, "Yeah, you were fighting a lot, right?" Wrong. I then had to explain to him that his erectile dysfunction wasn't something to be embarrassed about. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/9/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, my sister bought my five year old son a giant ant farm for his birthday. We set it in the living room on a table. I went into the kitchen for a minute, and when I walked back in to the living room, my son was holding the empty case over his head, smiling. FML

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By 3firedepos - 15/6/2020 05:06

Lovely

Today, I walked outside and was so happy about the return of smell of campfires and summer time. I now realize that the campfire smell was a house burning down in my neighborhood. FML

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By - 24/12/2018 12:00

Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML

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By Pop_Pies - 3/9/2009 13:27 - Australia

Today, I had been working at the checkout for over 5 hours. Slighty tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink, he smiled and winked back. When I finished work 2 hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML

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By michellemoyah - 25/2/2012 05:04 - United States

Today, I went to a dance with the boy I like. To my delight, he tried to pick me up. To my dismay, he couldn't. FML

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By Anonymous - 5/8/2014 02:00 - United States - New Ulm

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

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By meeee - 21/3/2013 10:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/3/2017 22:00

Today, while I was doing my job as a groundskeeper, a couple of kids wearing MAGA hats threw garbage and rocks at me, then told me to "go back where you came from". I'm American, but I guess my beard makes me look like an immigrant or something, as this isn't the first time this has happened. FML

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By Jen - 9/11/2010 03:36 - Australia

Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML

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By Anonymous - 22/12/2014 07:53 - United States - Mooresville

Today, immediately after being informed of the sketchy activities that take place in our store parking lot after dark, I'm handed an orange vest and told to go out there to retrieve carts. FML

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By gir - 14/7/2011 19:35 - United States

Today, as a joke, I hid under my parents' bed, hoping to scare them when they came home. When they finally arrived, they burst through their bedroom door, tearing each other's clothes off. I had to keep my breath in time with my mom's panting and moaning as my dad brutally dominated her. FML

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Top comments

By ksks1234 | 33

#5881909 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:17

Since you both made the mistake, maybe you both can laugh about it and become friends.

By woainishamu | 21

#5881910 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:18

Awkward on both parties! Get her number ;)

COMMENTS

By ksks1234 | 33

#5881909 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:17

Since you both made the mistake, maybe you both can laugh about it and become friends.

Reply

bitchimabunnyz33 | 13

#5881928 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:34

Or better... *wink* *wink* *nodge*

Reply

Dawnstempest | 17

#5881931 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:41

@17 Family?

Reply

the_real_dvd | 21

#5881937 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 9:09

That would make an amazing "how we met" story.

Reply

AnOriginalName | 19

#5881938 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 9:09

Fuckbuddies, right #17?

Reply

ImJobbinn | 11

#5881952 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 10:09

Heck of a way to meet chicks.

Reply

sh3lbst3r | 8

#5882131 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 16:19

I agree, that's pretty coincidental that the two of you both mistook each other. I'd take that as a little sign. Instead of awkwardly backing away you should have embraced the situation you both were in. It would have been easy to laugh it off and you could have talked about what just happened, the ice was obviously quite broken already, aha. Best of luck OP, hoping you meet again!

Reply

then000bster | 16

#5882278 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 20:07

*cough*Asians*cough*

Reply

josiewilliams09 | 7

#5882569 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 3:49

.

Reply

firegirl1993 | 21

#5882701 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 7:08

So this is USBFFWLSC (ultimate super best friends forever who like to solve crimes) material. You have to be friends now.

Reply

TechFire | 25

#5882875 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 12:34

USB fits so well, since it always goes in incorrectly the first time

Reply

Sansa_fml | 38

#6264222 - Thursday 16 April 2015 9:46

This would've been a great ending of how I met your mother. Nobody expects that.

By woainishamu | 21

#5881910 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:18

Awkward on both parties! Get her number ;)

Reply

kumarina | 35

#5882039 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 13:41

If they start dating, it would be a funny way to tell how they met

Reply

imbackwiththeshi | 9

#5882309 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 20:54

I think they are both girls, since the op said that they play netball with them. Usually the same sex plays sports together.However thats just my take on it.

Reply

falon142012 | 22

#5882395 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 0:03

Even if she's a girl, she could still get her number, 96. Lol.

Reply

jadeystram | 3

#5882800 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 10:09

Netball is generally played by Women but Men are allowed to play on the same team generally. I have been in teams with men,

By mathen | 9

#5881911 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:19

The ice has been broken; maybe you two can get to know each other now?

By LuluRichards | 20

#5881912 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:19

Well you can be friends and then you can tell the story of how you met :)

Reply

BellaBelle_fml | 23

#5885027 - Saturday 15 March 2014 0:35

"...and that, kids, is how I met your mother."

Reply

validator | 12

#5895214 - Tuesday 25 March 2014 7:28

Finally lol

Reply

rt58killer10 | 19

#6056318 - Thursday 4 September 2014 14:04

:D

By iLike2Teabag | 27

#5881913 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:20

Well at least now you know she's friendly! You can all be friends now.

By Eliseopwns | 22

#5881914 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:21

Uh... chemistry from the start...?

By DeeDeeJay | 15

#5881917 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:22

At least both of you went through embarrassment together

By an3ph | 20

#5881918 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:23

Did we just become BEST FRIENDS?!!?!!!

Reply

NatsuD_fml | 13

#5882008 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 12:46

YEEEP!!!!

Reply

Thunderlaxus | 10

#5882330 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 21:50

Step brothers refferal? :D

Reply

OctoberJade | 12

#5882360 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 23:05

I THINK WE DID!

Reply

SammyS2012 | 21

#5882691 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 6:41

DO YOU WANNA GO DO KARATE IN THE GARAGE?!!?!!!

By neonglostix | 28

#5881919 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:23

Did you wave to each other before you ran into her arms? I guess you could say that you guys were on the same wavelength.

By DeeDeeJay | 15

#5881920 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:24

You can both laugh about it later.