Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that... - FML

By Anonymous - 11/3/2014 00:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

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Everyone's an expert

British Broadcasting Corporation

Headache

By sixxie - 29/1/2010 05:10 - United States

Today, I went in to work and was handed a write-up for having lied about being sick in order to leave early yesterday. Apparently, a co-worker saw me leave the parking lot, then immediately pull into the shopping center next door. I was going to Walgreens for cold medicine. FML

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By ambiiii - 20/8/2015 03:25 - United States - Marble Falls

Today, my niece started crying because she thought that someday she'll look like me. FML

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By kanenakid - 27/12/2010 12:40 - United States

Today, I realized the closest person I have to a friend is the debt collector who calls me every day. FML

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By sosoram - 13/10/2018 05:00 - United States - Victorville

Today, I learned that the gentleman that found my wallet was not satisfied with the $300 cash and forged a check for a washer and dryer. I found out when I checked my account. It cleared. FML

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By maddiebauer - 26/7/2012 14:48 - United States - Plainfield

Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML

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By whatislife1969 - 8/9/2017 10:00

Baby don't hurt me...

Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML

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By YAABOIII - 5/4/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, the 7 year old boy I was babysitting studied my upper lip and said "It's okay, my daddy won't let me shave yet either." I'm a girl. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/8/2013 01:28 - United States - Marietta

Today, I got screamed at by a woman at work for feeding her 3-week-old infant formula instead of the bottled Kool-Aid that she packed. FML

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By Can you say "bandwagon"? - 3/10/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

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By confused - 2/9/2010 21:09 - Canada

Today, I found out that my employers hired me under the assumption that I was gay. Apparently, they are attempting to be perceived as more open-minded. I'm not gay, but I'm afraid being straight could cost me my job. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/3/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

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By thenewgirlfriend - 26/5/2013 14:15 - United States - League City

Today, I cut my bangs. When I asked my boyfriend if he liked it he said, "It's like I'm dating a new girl, this way I won't get bored with you." FML

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By failure - 10/10/2013 14:11 - Korea, Republic of - Seoul

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

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By anonymous - 8/6/2011 16:47 - United States

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

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By bad friend - 22/10/2019 05:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Hissy fit incoming!

Today, my boyfriend’s female "best friend" hates me for absolutely no other reason other than she, "just doesn’t get along with girls." Boyfriend doesn’t see a problem with this, and insists I should just accept it since, "that’s just how she is." Time to throw the whole man away. FML

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By noodle - 21/1/2009 22:36 - United States

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/6/2012 15:49 - United States

Today, I went out of town with my mother-in-law. I don't know what posessed her to start questioning me about her son's and my sex life. When I told her I wasn't talking about that, she began to dicuss her and my father-in-law's bedroom habits. The car ride was two hours. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2015 04:50 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, I had to close my eyes in shame and pretend I didn't exist, as my mom gave a cop a good look at her wrinkled, prune-like cleavage and tried to convince him that the speed limit is optional. FML

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By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 23:10 - Australia

Today, I got fired. By my father. He wants me to drive him to work tomorrow. FML

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By Thescarlettfox - 1/3/2020 21:00

Alexa, play "Jump" by Van Halen

Today, I had the brilliant idea of jumping off a swing at its highest point. I can now add two things to my list of accomplishments: making out with a tree and breaking my nose. FML

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By texasbest - 2/9/2015 02:39 - United States - Lindale

Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/9/2009 02:11 - Canada

Today, I received a surprise "absolute final notice" email for payment of an overdue fee from the university I withdrew from 6 months ago. Turns out, my old landlord has been hoarding their letters to me. As a result, my credit is now in the shitter and I had to pay an extra $120 in interest. FML

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By jazopalchris - 25/11/2013 23:42 - Australia - Mount Gambier

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

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By EwokLover17 - 13/3/2010 05:16 - United States

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/3/2016 05:55

Today, I had to drive down to my parents' house. On they way down, I needed to fill up on gas but unfortunately I'd forgotten my wallet at home with all of my cash and credit cards. I then had to call triple A and explain to them in all seriousness how I ran out of gas at the gas station. FML

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By Tallow101 - 23/7/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML

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By firestar772 - 11/2/2013 15:48 - United States - Santa Barbara

It's probably considered art

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish byproduct. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

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By Jake - 16/9/2013 19:08 - United States - Albany

Today, I woke up, thinking it was going to be a good day. However, when I looked at my phone, I saw that my girlfriend had sent me an obscene number of angry messages, which are still coming in, because I forgot to say goodnight to her last night. FML

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By Karmaisabitch - 18/5/2012 06:07 - United States - Boulder

Today, I wanted to prank my roommate. So, I thought it would be funny to take all the toilet paper out of our bathroom. She thought it would be funny to wipe with my cashmere sweater. FML

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By fecal romance - 23/11/2013 10:32 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I swallowed and nearly choked to death on the ring my boyfriend hid in my wine glass. It's still in me somewhere, and my doctor basically told me that I'll have to "keep an eye on things" if I want to find it. FML

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By killmenow - 21/2/2011 01:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

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By Anonymous - 2/9/2013 18:22 - United States

Today, I was feeling abnormally self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on any makeup. The first thing my 7-year-old cousin said when she saw me was, "You look like my pet rat!" FML

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By crazyhair docare - 8/7/2019 16:00

Today, after a lifetime of weaves and extensions, I felt brave enough to wear my natural hair to work. As soon as I clocked in, my manager yelled, “Holy shit! What happened to you? Stick your finger in a socket or something?” I was then sent home for being, “Out of uniform.” FML

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By tony456 - 11/7/2011 21:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making out while she was laying on me. Her little brother walked in, saw us and yelled, "Mom they're swallowing each other!" FML

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By jaymaag25 - 20/10/2016 06:28 - United States - Saint Joseph

Today, it seems like everyone in my family knew about my boyfriend's new engagement, all except me. FML

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By Hot Pants - 1/12/2011 17:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

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By jasondrags - 3/7/2015 13:42 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I tried to arrange my first gallery exhibition as a photography student. Not even my mother wants to come. FML

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By Anon127 - 12/6/2012 02:40 - United States - Taunton

Today, I learned that instead of training my cat, she has been training me. She now refuses to drink anything but running tap water, and yowls loudly early in the morning at my bedroom door to be fed. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/9/2011 17:46 - United States

Today, I treated my boyfriend to an expensive dinner using the last of my paycheck. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom a few minutes in. I came back to find my plate empty. His excuse was, "I didn't want the food to get cold." FML

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By Zyopy - 18/12/2015 08:33 - Australia - Hampton

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

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Top comments

By ksks1234 | 33

#5881909 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:17

Since you both made the mistake, maybe you both can laugh about it and become friends.

By woainishamu | 21

#5881910 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:18

Awkward on both parties! Get her number ;)

Comments

By ksks1234 | 33

#5881909 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:17

Since you both made the mistake, maybe you both can laugh about it and become friends.

Reply

bitchimabunnyz33 | 13

#5881928 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:34

Or better... *wink* *wink* *nodge*

Reply

Dawnstempest | 17

#5881931 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:41

@17 Family?

Reply

the_real_dvd | 21

#5881937 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 9:09

That would make an amazing "how we met" story.

Reply

AnOriginalName | 19

#5881938 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 9:09

Fuckbuddies, right #17?

Reply

ImJobbinn | 11

#5881952 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 10:09

Heck of a way to meet chicks.

Reply

sh3lbst3r | 8

#5882131 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 16:19

I agree, that's pretty coincidental that the two of you both mistook each other. I'd take that as a little sign. Instead of awkwardly backing away you should have embraced the situation you both were in. It would have been easy to laugh it off and you could have talked about what just happened, the ice was obviously quite broken already, aha. Best of luck OP, hoping you meet again!

Reply

then000bster | 16

#5882278 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 20:07

*cough*Asians*cough*

Reply

josiewilliams09 | 7

#5882569 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 3:49

.

Reply

firegirl1993 | 21

#5882701 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 7:08

So this is USBFFWLSC (ultimate super best friends forever who like to solve crimes) material. You have to be friends now.

Reply

TechFire | 25

#5882875 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 12:34

USB fits so well, since it always goes in incorrectly the first time

Reply

Sansa_fml | 38

#6264222 - Thursday 16 April 2015 9:46

This would've been a great ending of how I met your mother. Nobody expects that.

By woainishamu | 21

#5881910 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:18

Awkward on both parties! Get her number ;)

Reply

kumarina | 35

#5882039 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 13:41

If they start dating, it would be a funny way to tell how they met

Reply

imbackwiththeshi | 9

#5882309 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 20:54

I think they are both girls, since the op said that they play netball with them. Usually the same sex plays sports together.However thats just my take on it.

Reply

falon142012 | 22

#5882395 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 0:03

Even if she's a girl, she could still get her number, 96. Lol.

Reply

jadeystram | 3

#5882800 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 10:09

Netball is generally played by Women but Men are allowed to play on the same team generally. I have been in teams with men,

By mathen | 9

#5881911 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:19

The ice has been broken; maybe you two can get to know each other now?

By LuluRichards | 20

#5881912 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:19

Well you can be friends and then you can tell the story of how you met :)

Reply

BellaBelle_fml | 23

#5885027 - Saturday 15 March 2014 0:35

"...and that, kids, is how I met your mother."

Reply

validator | 12

#5895214 - Tuesday 25 March 2014 7:28

Finally lol

Reply

rt58killer10 | 19

#6056318 - Thursday 4 September 2014 14:04

:D

By iLike2Teabag | 27

#5881913 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:20

Well at least now you know she's friendly! You can all be friends now.

By Eliseopwns | 22

#5881914 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:21

Uh... chemistry from the start...?

By DeeDeeJay | 15

#5881917 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:22

At least both of you went through embarrassment together

By an3ph | 20

#5881918 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:23

Did we just become BEST FRIENDS?!!?!!!

Reply

NatsuD_fml | 13

#5882008 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 12:46

YEEEP!!!!

Reply

Thunderlaxus | 10

#5882330 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 21:50

Step brothers refferal? :D

Reply

OctoberJade | 12

#5882360 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 23:05

I THINK WE DID!

Reply

SammyS2012 | 21

#5882691 - Wednesday 12 March 2014 6:41

DO YOU WANNA GO DO KARATE IN THE GARAGE?!!?!!!

By neonglostix | 28

#5881919 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:23

Did you wave to each other before you ran into her arms? I guess you could say that you guys were on the same wavelength.

By DeeDeeJay | 15

#5881920 - Tuesday 11 March 2014 8:24

You can both laugh about it later.