Transportation: Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving...

By Anonymous - Sweden

Today, I saw a girl on the subway that I knew so I started waving frantically. She gave me a really weird expression and moved quickly away from me. Then I realised that I only knew her because I had stalked her Facebook once. FML

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Transportation

Commando

Late term

Spooky

By michelle - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, while my husband was at work, he missed our son saying his first word ("Dada"), taking his first steps and smashing the widescreen TV with a well-aimed teddy bear. Care to guess which of these three things made my husband cry. FML

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By drooooooool - United States

Today, I was taking medicine for my sinus problems and trying to write an essay. I got most of the way done, then unexpectedly fell asleep on my keyboard. When I woke up, my face was wet. I drowned my laptop in my drool. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to log in to my computer on a projector in front of business associates at my dad's architecture firm. I typed in my username and apparently didn't hit the tab key hard enough, so I typed my password in the username box. The entire firm now knows my password is "tits123". FML

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By Thanks Trump - United States - New York

Today, my mom parked in a handicapped space because, "the Spanish people are taking over everything." FML

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18228

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By Stargirl - United States - Modesto

Today, in an attempt to support and encourage my efforts in getting a new job, my boyfriend said, "Imagine having triple what's in your bank account right now!" Triple what's in my bank account right now would be exactly $38.94. FML

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By Dan V - United States - Troy

Today, I found out my co-worker had made plans for a night out, just as I'd cancelled all of mine to work with him on a project for the next 4 hours. FML

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By lolgarbl - United States

Today, I had a performance evaluation meeting with my boss. He told me I was the best in my department, and that the productivity has never been higher before I started working here. Oh, and he said that because everything is working so well, they don't need me as much, so he's cutting my hours. FML

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By sonja_n - Australia - Kew

Pentaxed

Today, I lost my balance while crossing a creek and fell in. I had my camera on me at the time. It's fried, and I don't have the $2K I need to replace it. FML

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1309

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By bigbro - Australia - Southbank

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

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By theoriginalkydd - Canada - Toronto

Today, I met up with my ex girlfriend for coffee. It’s been months, and I was planning on flexing on her with my new car. Turns out, she also got a new car, and it’s newer, cleaner, faster, and better on gas... FML

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1066

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By why?! - United States

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

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36137

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned it's not a good idea to answer your phone with "F*** off!" just because you're having a bad day. It could just be your pastor on the other end. FML

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7540

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By can't shut my mouth - United States - Houston

Manage your way out of that one

Today, after a string of crappy employees had come and gone over the month, I was joking to my manager that maybe we should move the "Now Hiring" sign further away from the trash can so we'd stop getting garbage hires. The new girl was right behind me. I'll be her trainer all week. FML

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By Anonymous - Germany - Koblenz

Today, after an argument with my wife, I stormed out of our bedroom through the sliding doors to the balcony. Only there was no balcony, because it still hasn't been replaced yet. I'm now laid-up in hospital. FML

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43033

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By pregz - United States

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

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33324

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By sara - 24/7/2020 23:01

Spotted

Today, I discovered my first wrinkle at the same time as my millionth zit. FML

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1075

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By TANT - United States

Today, I decided to start working out because my friends said I'm scrawny and weak. I bought an expensive giant container of protein powder to take before during work outs. I wasn't strong enough to open the lid. FML

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74422

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was using the toilet and decided to check out some FMLs. One made me laugh out loud as my room-mate was passing by the bathroom. He now tells everyone my penis is so small it makes even me laugh every time I see it. FML

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44517

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By anonymous - United States - La Pine

Today, my boyfriend and I were furniture shopping. They had miniature versions built of some of the desks. He commented how they were "cute for little kids" to use. They were 6 inches tall. I had to explain to him that they were only models, not real desks. I'm dating Zoolander. FML

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40764

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By Anonymous

Today, I got rear-ended on my way home from the pet store, causing my pet food to open up and go flying all over the floor of my car. My pet is a snake, and his food is live mice. FML

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4407

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By Wrabel - Germany - Mainz

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

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32279

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By Mouhahaa - France

Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML

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21588

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By OhDear - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed to be quite the gentleman. I was proven wrong when he told me to "shut it" during dinner, stiffed me on the bill, and then left me at the restaurant so he could get his own taxi home. FML

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By maisie

Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML

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2917

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, after soccer practice I was looking for my dad. Last night he was an hour late, so I was pretty pissed. When I spotted him, I saw him flirting with a much younger woman. I then tried throwing my soccer ball to his feet, but ended up slamming his head. Only to find out he wasn't my dad. FML

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10759

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By rawr117

Today, while working at the local paintball place, I noticed a girl without the safety on her paintball gun. I approached and reminded her to put the safety on, to which she replied "Don't worry im not going to shoot you." And then she did. It hit my happy sacks. FML

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4930

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By fuckthat! - United States - Madison

Today, my soon-to-be ex-husband had the audacity to ask if the woman he cheated on me with could be in the delivery room while I give birth to our baby. FML

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5550

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By Anonymous - Hungary - Budapest

Today, my mother-in-law turned up at my doorstep close to midnight, drunk off her tits, crying about how my wife is punishing her and throwing her life away by marrying me. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

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By Heatherrolstonn - United States - Suwanee

Today, I received an email asking for a Skype interview at 11 am sharp. I waited for half an hour. He never even accepted my contact request. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

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46256

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By weaknesspersonified - Austria

Today, I felt sad, useless and like I could never achieve anything. To cheer myself up, I wanted to smell some essential orange oil. I couldn't open the bottle. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/2/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom - Watford

Horrendous website content

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after she found a disgusting and perverted porn site on my internet history. What was this site? Reddit. FML

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849

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By hc11bmd - United States - Bethel

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

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11449

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By thirdwheel - United States

Today, I found out that my best friend pays my boyfriend to this day to take me out. FML

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38660

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By FriendlessLoser - United States - Bristow

Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML

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16564

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By Franco - United States

Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML

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By qwertyasdfghzxcv - Canada

Today, I took my dog to the vet and she was diagnosed with obesity. The vet then told me that dogs usually imitate their owners eating and behavior habits. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my co-workers agreed that I was the one causing the elevator to be over its weight limit. When I protested, saying that I only weigh around 150 pounds, one asked me if that included the weight of my wheelchair. They made me get out. FML

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By gunman - United States

Today, I was showing my friend's dad an airsoft gun I was hoping he would be interested in buying. It's a pistol worth about 90 bucks. In the midst of showing him, I thought it would be funny to do a fake, upwards "pistol whip". The mag ended up flying out full speed and hitting him in the eye. FML

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Top comments

By Shikamaru_fml | 11

#1904863 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 18:56

YDI creep

By enoughgrace | 4

#1904896 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:01

leave the stalking to the corn, fool!

COMMENTS

By Shikamaru_fml | 11

#1904863 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 18:56

YDI creep

I_iz_B_a_troll | 23

#1904926 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:07

creep YDI

WhatTheFuq | 0

#1904947 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:10

Cre YDI ep

mercedes3210 | 6

#1905078 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:57

Nothing wrong with facebook stalking. I do it all the time!

TobyFunke | 3

#1905092 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 20:01

we've all crept facebook, but even I have never creeped so much that I tricked myself into thinking I knew someone personally

alwa7sh | 2

#1905156 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 20:23

Rather than frantically waving, you should have POKED her

brianjman14 | 22

#1905207 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 20:34

It is rare that a YDI is set up as good as this one.

Also, I like the name, #2.

vatt | 0

#1905225 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 20:40

you were prob like and she was like 

Lucidium | 0

#1905839 - Thursday 30 December 2010 0:17

Nice one 37 :D

gabsta | 3

#1906163 - Thursday 30 December 2010 2:44

hahahaha #40
and everybody has at least facebook stalked at least once or they're not true facebookers :| hahaha jks... lol.. -.-

lol523 | 0

#1906451 - Thursday 30 December 2010 5:29

#2 I love your name and pic xD

XxxT3rr4xxX | 25

#4643788 - Tuesday 3 July 2012 0:39

creeper . . . u r one . . . YDI OP?! :S

By xena99 | 0

#1904869 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 18:57

That's just creepy!!!

All_For_Love | 0

#1905263 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 20:54

I know. 0.o

By 0KiED0KiE | 0

#1904879 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 18:59

what a creeper.

By beatlesfreak | 0

#1904886 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 18:59

Haha weird!

By Texass2224 | 0

#1904894 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:01

why did you stalk her on facebook? and even if you knew her why would you be waving frantically?!

Klond1ke | 0

#1915091 - Saturday 1 January 2011 4:03

lolol

By enoughgrace | 4

#1904896 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:01

leave the stalking to the corn, fool!

Myren_fml | 0

#1904922 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:06

So corny! Haha

ItsJustMe17 | 9

#1905932 - Thursday 30 December 2010 1:02

Hahahaha!!!

By asianpowaaa | 0

#1904908 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:04

weird ass creeper

By xMafia | 0

#1904916 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:06

Shit, why don't you just do the same to them and bet on their divorce?

youfailed18 | 0

#1904934 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:09

um.... wrong FML, man..

hairt | 4

#1904939 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:10

wrong fml 10!! :P

zcknight | 0

#1905578 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 22:44

fyl for posting on the wrong fml

By Myren_fml | 0

#1904931 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:08

Uhm wrong fml lol

By zanguard | 0

#1904936 - Wednesday 29 December 2010 19:10

So is this a FML because you are a creeper or because she ran from you?

indycard | 0

#1909090 - Thursday 30 December 2010 16:58

Haha.