Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Today, a wasp somehow got into my parents' house, so I went hunting for it with my dad. I found it and, after getting into position, took a strong swing at it with a fly swatter. Unfortunately, being very uncoordinated, I missed. You can figure out the rest. FML
Today, I woke up, only to find my arm was still asleep. I tried to move it just a tiny bit, but somehow ended up punching myself in the face. FML
Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML
Today, after getting up to press snooze on my alarm clock, I climbed back into bed. When I went to reach for the covers quickly because I was cold, I missed, yet still managed to pull back my fist with force punching myself in the face. I now have a bloody fat lip. FML
Today, I was going to set up my air conditioner in the window. As I opened up the window, I must have disturbed a wasp nest, because a dozen wasps flew in and several of them stung me. The rest are now somewhere in my house with my terrified girlfriend. FML
Today, I thought I had a stick stuck in my hair. A very pokey stick. That aggressively bit my face when I tried to get it out of my hair. It was a big ass spider. My face feels like it's been punched. FML
Today, there was something itching me in my bed, it was the tag to my pillow case. I ripped it off, very hard and slipped and punched myself right in the face. I broke my nose. FML
Today, my "friends" who know very well that I am terrified of bees forced me to face my fears, despite my protesting. As my "friends" watched and laughed while I tried to keep calm, a wasp showed up and scared me half to death, thereby angering the other bees. My face looked like a giant raspberry after the fact. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
That must really sting. Next time bee more careful.
very_ugly_girl 0
Hey, been awhile since we talked. Wasp do not make that type of sound. I think it is moo
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Comments (118)
juniefry 0
get a, um, electric bug swatter:)
krdel 0
Yeah so the OP can swat himself or herself
F_U_imcrippled 0
This is the strangest comment string I think I have ever read on FML.
juniefry 0
just read the comments. WOOOW DO WE PEDA UP IN HERE? goosh, you people are so hypocritical, suuursly. you've all killed a bug, eaten meat and dont even think twice, k? so huuush.
therealsuperman 0
is PEDA related at all to PETA?
Islander2112 0
I interpreted it as "Wow, have we peed up here?"
juniefry 0
do we have* :)
ninjalope 0
39th comment
zp5 4
"God dammit, this wasp is pissing me off!" *punch yourself in the face*
KBruce317 0
That's the best way to take out your frustrations
vince10 0
you need some help
Cass3m0 0
Then that shall be your story, OP! "Yeah, you think this is bad, you should see the other guy."
SuitsAreCool 0
Indeed! Perfect time to play the badboy card, go get laid OP.
TotalIy 6
Haha Nice Job Idiot.
crashbob 0
a brawl? wow...