Miscellaneous: Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2010 14:29 - Canada

Today, I was the only girl in my lab class. The instructor was learning our names. When he came to me, I went to say "mine will be easy" and it came out as "I'm easy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 883

You deserved it 30 947

Miscellaneous

Late term

Revenge strikes again

Smell test

By buiuuum - 27/07/2011 16:35 - United States

Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 493

You deserved it 34 111

Mystery

By Death_Arc_Angel - 22/01/2021 09:09 - Trinidad and Tobago - Fyzabad

Today, we're in the middle of a contagious deadly pandemic, and despite not having physical/sexual contact with anyone in over a year, I managed to contract herpes. I don't even know how I got it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 128

By Shelly - 30/10/2010 18:09 - United States

Today, the only one that became aroused while looking at me in my sexy Halloween costume was my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 060

You deserved it 12 554

By Needasafe1234 - 25/09/2009 15:24 - United States

Today, it was my mother's birthday. My 5 year old brother and 85 year old grandma decided to decorate the house with balloons and a blow up "people" they found in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 992

You deserved it 46 702

By broke - 22/05/2017 14:00

Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 355

You deserved it 318

If only they hadn't learned to read…

By Anonymous - 20/09/2019 00:01

Today, I was hosting my kid's birthday party. I had a bunch of small trinkets, so I grabbed the first container I could find to put them in. It wasn’t until I went out and someone yelled, "I’ll take a heavy flow!" that I realized it was an empty tampon box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 012

You deserved it 662

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 19:30 - United States

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 382

You deserved it 3 463

By hairstylistprobs - 23/06/2015 03:13 - United States

Today, I attended my best friend's wedding. Instead of throwing her bouquet, she turned around and handed it to me. I was the only single lady out of 150 guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 295

You deserved it 2 630

By mallyboo - 01/10/2016 14:38 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, I discovered that you should always check the litter box before vacuuming stray litter outside of it after my cat burst out from the box mid-piss and skittered around the house still pissing after I put the vacuum hose behind the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 524

You deserved it 3 502

Vicious dog

By onefmlafteranother - 15/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was laying my head on my dad's dog when he walked in. I jokingly asked my dad, "I'm cuddling with your dog, are you jealous?" At that moment, the dog lets a massive, earth-quaking fart and my dad promptly responded, "Nope!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 546

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 17:58 - United States - Athens

Today, I wore a bikini to the lake with my parents. I didn't know that my back was covered in bruises, and ended up having to awkwardly explain to my parents that I am not in an abusive relationship; the bruises came from the sex I had last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 341

You deserved it 16 203

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 246

You deserved it 16 704

By roxyriley - 07/12/2009 09:30 - United States

Today, a friend of mine and I were talking about how hygienic we are. She mentioned she hadn't shaved her downstairs in a while. I was looking at the computer when she said this so when I turned to look at her I saw she had pulled down her pants and underwear. I was face to face with hairy muff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 613

You deserved it 4 062

By peneloperigby - 03/02/2009 06:51 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother called to say that my 11-year-old nephew found my secret stash of nipple tassels, furry hand cuffs, and a bottle of lube. He doesn't want to visit me anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 995

You deserved it 31 967

By not telling you my name - 07/08/2015 15:16 - United States - Elkhart

Today, I went to take a dump at work. The silence in the room was deafening, and I ended up singing to myself. After I proudly finished, there was a short silence, followed by a coworker in the next stall saying, "Um... don't quit the day job, Rick." I'll never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 584

You deserved it 5 767

By Rainydaze - 10/11/2017 20:00 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, the guy I hooked up with last summer who was "going through a divorce" welcomed his new baby with his loving wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 115

You deserved it 1 831

By Sigh - 19/02/2013 17:13 - United Kingdom - Waltham Abbey

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 819

You deserved it 2 597

By disgustedgf - 28/06/2011 07:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he stopped brushing his teeth two days after we started dating. Tomorrow is our 2 year anniversary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 860

You deserved it 8 733

By POLYBLOT - 30/06/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, I took chocolax to help lose some weight before I left for Miami. Turns out it doesn't happen right away like in the movies, it happens six hours later in front of your girlfriends parents, that you've just met for the first time at a very upperclass restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 929

You deserved it 55 971

By ThisGirl - 21/08/2012 02:30 - United States - Kennesaw

Today, I lost two terabytes' worth of photos to a friend's incompetence. He said he could save me some money and fix my slow computer for free. He ended up wiping the hard drive, and along with it, my photography portfolio from the last five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 227

You deserved it 16 415

By Anonymous - 31/03/2014 17:15 - Japan - Takarazuka

Today, as I walked out the door to head to class, my neighbour's kid threw a balloon at me, filled with some kind of foul-smelling liquid that he calls "liquid ass". I had a presentation 20 minutes later and couldn't get the smell off myself in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 442

You deserved it 3 056

By Really? - 31/12/2016 01:54 - Australia - Homebush

Today, during an endless heat wave, I sat at my local pub having a beer. I was delighted as a cool sea breeze started to come through. I was less delighted when the sea breeze picked up and blew cigarette ash onto my sweaty face and into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 493

You deserved it 1 132

Cleanliness is next to someone else

By Anonymous - 10/03/2020 15:00

Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 710

You deserved it 98

What a headache

By heckinfrick - 08/10/2020 08:01

Today, it was the day of the doctor's appointment that I've been waiting for for eight months. I woke up with a fever and had to reschedule. The next appointment is next year. Guess I have to put up with my daily migraines until 2021. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 217

You deserved it 225

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 428

You deserved it 6 925

By Anonymous - 19/11/2010 03:34 - United States

Today, I was just about done with my late-night shift at Ralph's. As I was about to put up my "Closed Lane" sign, an elderly women starts putting items on the conveyor belt. The cost was $14.79, and she paid with pennies. It took her ages to count them all, and I wasn't being paid overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 576

You deserved it 3 979

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:27 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I punished my new dog for going potty inside by putting him in the kennel. He punished me by breaking out of the kennel and destroying everything in my house. Including Christmas presents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 173

You deserved it 3 315

Debate bro

By Fuck Trump. - 03/05/2021 14:01

Today, after a supervisor, who is a Donald Trump fanatic, kept pestering us with the subject, I decided to debate with him, never swearing or disrespecting him at all. I was fired, presumably for disrespecting a supervisor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 493

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 21:39 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 606

You deserved it 3 774

By Anonymous - 01/07/2016 16:23 - Sweden - Alings?s

Today, the paternity test came back. It's like I suspected all along; my "son" is actually my half-brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 304

You deserved it 1 839

By Anonymous - 07/06/2015 07:54 - United States - Wheatland

Today, I tried talking to my wife about our sexless marriage. Her only response was to toss me a sock and say "Knock yourself out, fuckstick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 565

You deserved it 4 369

By The Lone Ranger - 05/10/2010 07:43 - United States

Today, I was given a $25 gift certificate for being Employee Of The Week. The gift certificate was 6 months past its expiration date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 098

You deserved it 2 824

By floggingnasty - 13/02/2011 11:38 - United States

Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 763

You deserved it 2 817

By adriana - 01/09/2009 16:48 - United States

Today, I went to the bank to deposit the cash I made waiting tables. While the teller was counting, I apologized for having so many small bills and she said "It's OK honey, I helped another one of your kind just the other day. You're lucky we take your dirty money." She thought I was a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 196

You deserved it 4 558

Munchausen by proxy

By Anonymous - 29/10/2020 05:01

Today, I was just told by a hiring manager that the reasons I'm not getting interviews is because I have a spotty work history. My work history is spotty because my mother ignores my food allergies so she can get attention and, as a result, I'm chronically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 172

By Anonymous - 18/10/2015 14:23 - United States - Marshall

Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 863

You deserved it 5 498

By doodlecrzyMeg - 04/02/2016 18:56 - United States - Mattoon

Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 588

You deserved it 4 231

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 02:47 - United States - New Haven

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 097

You deserved it 2 645

Looking for another one!

By Anonymous - 20/12/2019 01:00

Today, I finally got a Christmas gift, a calligraphy set, for my father that I have been looking for for a month. My dad came home happily with the same calligraphy set today, saying that he surprised himself for Christmas. He got it cheaper than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 215

By Elgrin - 17/06/2016 18:03 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I woke up to something crawling on my leg. Thinking it might be a spider, I jumped out frantically to check. The good news: it's not a spider. The bad news: it's a bedbug. My apartment was just treated for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 811

You deserved it 1 413

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Top comments

Ragna_fml 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:03

Your life must be in ruins.

HahAboy95 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:02

what'd the teacher say

HahAboy95 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:02

what'd the teacher say

lmfao1643 3

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Thursday 21 January 2010 21:06

Wow nice job!!!

jacsamm 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 22:20

lol

HoesInaBox 0

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Friday 22 January 2010 3:55

sadly, I can see myself doing something like that too. not intentionally of course o.O

george456 0

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Friday 22 January 2010 5:12

Well are you easy?

MrHankey0123 0

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Wednesday 19 May 2010 4:50

ydi for being kissass

astarwarsfan 0

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Saturday 10 July 2010 5:33

I guess that class (puts on sunglasses) wont be the only easy thing now :)

slushpup9696 12

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Saturday 7 August 2010 9:00

126 that was terrible

pikmin5764 18

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Monday 14 September 2015 0:25

Did he say "Hello easy how are you"

Ragna_fml 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:03

Your life must be in ruins.

crazyladydaisy 4

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Monday 26 December 2011 4:29

I feel that op did that on purpose. As a way to grab guys attention. Could be wrong tho.

heerrnia 5

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Monday 3 June 2013 4:22

136 - you're wrong.

Boddmon 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:03

I'm sure a class full of males enjoyed that, did you get raped after?

no__namer 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:05

You can't rape the willing, if she's easy.

LOLYLIF 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:07

Thats a pretty odd response, I mean, out of the entire group, there will be at least 1 "good Samaritan", who would act as a witness if and when she reported them to the police.

flashback.miss 28

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:07

rape me, my friend.... XDXDXD maybe she shoulve said she was a lesbian..

Tkim32 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:13

Yeah I'm guessing she totaly got raped but she decide that telling the class that she was easy was a better reason to have a fml.

Boddmon 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:26

aw I love people who take everything so seriously and so literally. Your stupidity keeps me entertained. =)

magaliwoodrock 19

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Friday 22 January 2010 2:19

haha fail @ Boddmon they are just joking. and you take things up the butt. and did they have a tpo cause it says "I went to say "mine will be easy"

whataloadofbull 0

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Friday 22 January 2010 9:03

what what in the butt

amy397123 0

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Friday 22 January 2010 13:24

#101, i fucking lol'd.

Boddmon 0

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Friday 22 January 2010 16:01

@magaliwoodrock I was replying to Tkim32 you fool.

tdawgheath 0

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 3:27

Nah, It's a group of men.

LeoBrZ81 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:04

Was the sex right there and then, in front of everyone?

flashback.miss 28

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:04

SO UH.. How many texts/pics/calls do you get per hour??? and how many times a day does your door get knocked on...dont worry this;; all blow over....eventually.

isitofficial_ 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 22:46

you do know that the girl could be pretty ugly right? so she might not have gotten raped or gotten texts or calls saying hey sexy. but since she was in lab the geek was probably the only one who texted/called to her if she was ugly. LOL!

kukitheaf 0

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Friday 22 January 2010 7:40

eeeeeeewwww yur gurosss! im telling mommy wat u said

KatieGoesRawrr 0

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Friday 22 January 2010 16:02

Yeah,, u can be unattractive aand be raped, a lot of rapes are done when spmeone is drunk, so no matter how ugly the person is in the rapists eyes, they can be hot when the rapist is drunk.

rachelmacivor 0

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Wednesday 15 June 2011 3:50

hahaha.. am I the only on who laughed at < BLOW > over? hahahahahahgahagaggghHHhh

Incubuss 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:04

OH NOES FUCK YOUR LIFE!

chellexx 0

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:06

this seems more like an MLIA

flashback.miss 28

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Thursday 21 January 2010 20:08

SO UH.. How many texts/pics/calls do you get per hour??? and how many times a day does your door get knocked on...dont worry this;; all blow over....eventually. besides, this is a mlia at best cause i msure youll be able to laugh ti off soon and the guys had a good laugh.. hope u didnt get tackled and had your clothes ripped off by toungues and youre not having 20 babies...:/ um.. soudns like sometime i would do though XD